Need to vent

[Mysticangel142003 7]

I'm 25 years old and been married for 7 years now. I was banded a year ago on 2/24/14, 5 days post surgery my dad had a heart attack them 3 days later he was taken off life support and passed away. We went through the 6 month required documented dieting together (he was going to have the sleeve), we were each other support in this process. He had just received his surgery date the day before his heart attack. I have been devastated since losing him and feel that this grief has hindered my weight loss process! Eventually I was able to pick myself up and keep going with the weight loss but I'm just stuck at this spot. As of today I have lost only 40pounds, I feel that I should have lost more: according to the doctors and everyone else I should be losing more by now. I have a 10 cc band and have 6.5cc in so far. My last fill was 7/5/14. I struggle with keeping food in my band, someday I can eat more solid foods and others like today I can't get liquids to go down without extreme hurting/pain. My family has been "supportive" but not actively supportive in my weight loss ("who wants lasagna for dinner? " "Not me it doesn't fit in my band." "oh well make some Soup for your self.")

I'm just looking for any advice on what to do? I'm so tight I can't drink tea, coffee or water! How the hell can I even drink a Protein Shake? !?!? This usually lasts all day! Then the next day I'm not tight; can drink and eat like a normal bandster but I'm so hungry by then I feel like I'm over compensating for not eating or drinking the day before. But I'm not losing any weight either, I've been this weight for a few months and I'm terrified of getting another fill due to being too tight for anything.

Help!!!!!!

[Miss Meg 199]

I am so sorry for your loss, and absolutely grief can play a huge role in how we manage things - 40lbs is still a great amount of weight that you are no longer carrying with you - congratulations with your achievement so far. It does sound to me though that your band may be a little too tight?? You shouldn't have difficulty keeping food down. Have you been back to see your Dr?? Good luck with everything and I'm sure your Dad will be so proud of how far you've come.

[VSGmary 418]

Firstly i am truly very sorry for your loss. Secondly the symptoms you mention, re being tight one day and different the next is similar to what was occurring to me when I had the band. I gave up on my band and stopped going in for a fill as all i was feeling was this. I was finally forced to go back to my surgeon to see whats going on. Well i wish i had done it sooner, i had a gastroscopy and it was found that I had formed a pouch above the band which was causing the strange tight one day, and oooh so very loose the next! I had the band removed and was sleeved 10 wks later as the band failed. Please try and go back to see your surgeon and get this looked into.

I wish you all the best with your weight loss journey xox

[The Candidate 3,215]

You can't judge your progress too harshly when it's mired by grief. You need time to process your devastating loss. Now is not the time to be too hard on yourself. As someone who also lost her father suddenly and unexpectedly I can tell you it will get better, day by day. And I'm sure he was and will always be proud of you. Good luck.

[lisacaron 5,075]

@@Mysticangel142003 give your Dr. a call ASAP and have some Fluid removed from the band. You are too tight if you can not get Water down and this can cause complications. You don't need that right now.

I am so sorry to learn of your Dad's sudden passing. It is not easy to lose a parent. I'm sure this journey is a little more difficult for you as well since he was your supporter and would be partner on this journey. I am proud of you as I'm sure your Dad would be for keeping to your commitment to yourself and taking the steps you needed to begin your journey.

Try not to let others derail you, this is your journey not theirs and I am sorry they are not as supportive as they could be. I have found that I can't change those around me I can only change myself and my reaction to them. So I make food choices for myself first.

If Lasagna is the meal of the day, and you don't want to make Soup or something else for yourself separately you can totally sit down at the table and take that piece of lasagna an deconstruct it. Eat the filling, have some meat balls, what I like to do when my family makes a pot of sauce is i will enjoy a meatball or two if they are small and then make some steamed vegies (you can get the single serve steam bags in the super market 3 min in the micro and they are ready) and I mix those up with some sauce instead of eating the Pasta.

You can find creative ways of making meals work for you as a bander. When I am at work meetings that are often through lunch hour and they cater in, I will take a sandwich and just deconstruct it and eat the meat and cheese and leave the bread. I'll have some salad as filler or even take some of the lettuce from the sandwich and use that as the "bread"

You can do it, and we are here to support you!! Come back often and let us know how your doing and how we can help. Your not alone in this I promise!!

[Sharpie 3,306]

great advice from Lisa.. I have a family that loves food too, at first they were all flustered about what I could and couldn't eat.. I finally told them stop worrying about it, fix what you want and I will figure out how to eat it or not. spaghetti is a favorite, I eat the meatball and a little veg's I just try to stay focused on what I can eat.

don't let anyone get you off track. Your Dad would be proud of you.

[pink dahlia 2,513]

Hugs to you, sorry to hear about your Dad, but know that he is still your biggest supporter. (Been through this myself) Dont know what to say about your band, Id see your Dr. Asap ! As far as lasagna etc, I just skip the noodle part and fill up on salad , etc. No need to have anything different at mealtimes, hope this helps you some. Hugs !!