Venting About Poor Forum Etiquette

[swimbikerun 1,045]

From what I understand, they don't teach cursive in many schools. Maybe they teach kids or kids learn to type and have autocorrect. That might explain some of the issues?

[Alex Brecher 10,512]

People being mean in any way.

· “I made the best decision.”

· “You’re not doing it right.”

· “You should have known this already.”

· “You have to…”

· Etc.

[mi75 1,235]

well, I can definitely understand grammar issues, I am known as the grammar police among my co-workers. This rant gave me a good laugh. I understand, really...

[beachgurl84 456]

myfav's are Irregardless is not an actual word. The word you should use is regardless.

and

I could care less”,actually means you do care

OOOOOHHHH I Love when people say "I don't worry about nothing"

Of course you shouldn't worry about nothing. It's everything else you should worry about.

[beachgurl84 456]

From what I understand, they don't teach cursive in many schools. Maybe they teach kids or kids learn to type and have autocorrect. That might explain some of the issues?

I've been typing since childhood so I have actually forgotten how to write cursive. I learned to write it but schools were starting to get computers then and everything had to be typed. It became obsolete for me.

[beachgurl84 456]

I only read a few pages and skipped to the end, but this was just one thread I couldn't keep quiet on. I understand that it drives people crazy when the same question is asked over and over again, but I just have to wonder if some remember back to when they were a "newbie" and Bariatric Pal was their main source of information. I do realize posters sometimes don't use the search to see if the question has been asked before. You also have people like me, wanting to ask a question but frantically searching all the forums for a question like some crazed timid little new kid and then just about stroking out with anxiety before hitting that POST button in fear of what others may think of your question. I spend about 30 minutes searching if it's been asked before and worrying that a reader may give that "behind the computer eye roll". Nobody should feel that way on an INTERNET forum. I can't just pick up the phone and ask my surgeon's office how scrambled eggs went down the first time they ate it?!?! That is what this site is for! And about the grammar, it's shameful that people don't take into consideration that years ago some didn't get proper education. For instance, my mother is now a very well-off upstanding woman who has worked her ass off for everything they have along with my dad. What have they made a living off all of their life??? Farming. She grew up very poor and farmed the rice fields all day every day. They didn't have time for school nor were they told or made to go. They were made to WORK if they wanted to eat. She later in life married my dad, learned to read well, and got a GED. She had twin girls who ended up being a Nurse Practitioner and an RN after a full ride to college. What can she not do? SPELL!!! She's not lazy, she just struggles with grammar, punctuation, and spelling. She had bypass and won't post on here for fear of sounding stupid and people silently mocking her about it. I had an amazing education, but it was my non-grammar using parent who busted her ass to save money so that I could enjoy having the luxury of learning properly.

I highly suggest reading more. Congrats to your mom. Sounds exactly like my grandmother that did what she needed to do and knew there was always more to learn and made the effort to make herself the best person she could be.

[Julie norton 2,850]

Well.... my take on spelling ( as a former spelling bee coach) is you either "get it" or don't.

Many educated people use spell check for a reason...

I understand you can read more and practice your spelling, but for many it just doesn't come very easily.

My father, who was a hard working successful man, could compute interest rates and payments in his head, yet never had a good grip on spelling. Just my take????

[My Bariatric Life 764]

The only item I would take issue with is someone who is conducting him/herself in a way that is not polite and supportive. I have always seen and experienced polite and supportive conversations on these forums, even when we've had opposing viewpoints. But there are two other bariatric communities where I was attacked and I wanted to share my experiences with everyone in light of the OP's post.

The first time I was attacked my response was to attack back. My natural instinct is to be very aggressive when provoked. Well, that was a battle that just led to more and more attacking between me and the community. Nothing was accomplished. There was no victory or defeat. I finally ended the argument by having the entire conversation removed.

The second time this happened was on a different community. But this time I did not attack back. I asked questions to understand the posters' points of views and/or explained where I was coming from. It led to both "sides" understanding each other and in that understanding was compassion. Everyone learned something and everybody won that day. A couple of people were even courageous enough to apologize and I was very grateful for that. I learned, too, that the way I had presented my story had resulted in the reaction that I got from some of the folks in the community. The entire exchange was an opportunity for all involved to grow and there also was healing in that, to be acknowledged and understood feels very good.

food for thought...

[IcanMakeit 1,318]

This is taking off on a tangent, but I want to endorse the call for kindness. There is another bariatric website that I read, but have never posted on because some of the members tend to be judgmental and acerbic. I'm not a timid person, but I don't thrive in situations of conflict. I don't want this website to become like that one and I wince when I feel someone has responded unkindly or sarcastically to a poster who clearly needs information and support. I don't think we need more rules or Internet nannies to read and approve our posts. We all have our own way of expressing ourselves and a right to say what we think in our own style. I just hope that we can all remember that we are here to give and receive support and that the people who feel supported by sarcastic responses are probably in the minority.

[Pepper123 320]

Silence!!!!

[Stephanie Stroup McIntosh 157]

Can I add that it bothers me when people reply to the post without actually reading what it says? So many times I see people give all the information in the original post and then will see people respond with a comment asking something that was clearly written in the original post. Its fine if you don't read all the comments, but please read the question if you are going to answer it.

[tomi71 581]

Sigh. Just sigh.

[4MRB4PHOTO 3,900]

As the wise sage Confucius said: "It is better to be pissed off than pissed on".

That was the worst fortune I ever found in a fortune cookie.

[chunkyloverlovesyou 197]

a lot of people type on small mobile devices, grammar is not always easy to come by

[B-52 7,113]

Sitting here having my morning coffee(s), and after reading the latest posts, this thought popped into my head....I'm glad this is the internet and I do not have to meet some of these people face to face....and if the opportunity did arise, as in some big members convention, I doubt I'd want to go. Not to mention local chapter meet and greets...

I can't stand it when people pass judgement on everything you say and do....

Ok, you're superior to everyone else...feel better?

And that's me...a tough old man of 63 years who has seen just about everything in this world...maybe that's why I have become so tolerant and understanding.

And what about the poor young newbie, perhaps from the sticks who never finished High School, or a poor third world country, and maybe English is not their primary language......(they're here, I can tell)

They have a serious weight issue and are looking for help and guidance.....and not be suppressed to pass a "Literacy Test"

I'd just hate to be locked in a room with some of you...you may feel the same....and that's fine with me.

Now I'm off for work, have to see patients in clinic today....maybe, instead of focusing on their needs and why they came, I'll sit and judge their educational, cultural and economic background, instead of what their actual needs are and how I can help.