Problem with family....

[FarmerE 0]

Hey,

I have told only a handful of people that I am doing this, including my parents. I know everyone has said before, it depends on what your comfort level in telling people, and that's what I'm comfortable with right now. But what can I do when one of my biggest supporters in life is the one that is throwing me doubts?

I researched everything on lap banding, went to a seminar, talked with people, read a book, etc. I finally decided on doing it and told my parents about it. They were a little concerned, to be expected. I gave Mom a book and some websites to look at and asked her to come with me to the surgeon's office to ask any questions she wanted to. She has always been my biggest supporter in anything I've wanted/tried to do. She came to the doc's with me but then I found out there that she hadn't even looked into this yet. She asked questions that were basic and even I could answer. I was a little let down because usually she thinks of things that most people would overlook.

I think she felt bad about not looking into it and has since gone home to read the book I gave her. Now though, she is throwing a lot of doubt my way. She says that she supports me on this and knows how hard I've tried with losing weight over the last 10 years, etc but she's saying she thinks this is going to be extremely hard, almost to the point of being too hard for me. WTF? She is also saying she's trying to figure out how to "encourage" me WHEN I start slacking, and WHEN I don't end up doing what I'm supposed to do. (Oh and by the way...she's rail thin, starves herself when she thinks she's gaining weight, and walk the dog 4-5 times a day)

I'm kind of down now. Before, I was really looking forward to this and had already started making changes in my life in preparartion for this.

Any advice on how to handle this or how to get myself pumped back up for this? I'm almost two weeks away from being banded...:faint:

[Bobberts_Mom 0]

FarmerE

I'm new here too and getting banded 7/3/07 I will suport you!

((((((HUGGS)))))) Moms, they drive me crazy!!

[Jennifur 0]

I am sorry but understand exactally what you are saying. I had full support of my best friend before surgery and since, she is not talking to me. I have lost a great friendship and I don't even know why. I am sad about it and knew that there was going to be social changes, this one I didn't expect.

I will say this, I would not do anything different if I could do it all over again. I feel fantastic and have such great energy - and have lost 31lbs since 4/16 52 since 1/6/07.

My suggestion. Step back with your mom, have your surgery, don't talk to her about it, tell her that you appreciate her comments but it is not something you want to argue/or disagree about. Hopefully she will see your improvements and weight loss and will suddenly say how great you look.

My family was not all for it, and when they saw me a month after were totally amazed and so happy for me.

Stay strong, you need to have a great attitude with the band to have the best results. I have seem worse than mine, but I have a sister bander that has lost over 40lbs.

HUGS... I'm here to help

[libra 13]

Sometimes people just have a hard time understanding. In time, as you start losing and feel good, she'll come around.

[Elisabethsew 50]

Sometimes people focus on the negative. The truth is not everyone loses weight with the lapband and the lapband booklet states people lose an average of 60% of what they need to. You Mom is likely looking at that information and weighing (no pun) it against the risks of surgery.

Why not invite your Mom to visit this site and look at the before and after pictures so she can SEE the results people have with this surgery?

[FarmerE 0]

Thanks for the support. It's nice to know that other people understand.

[musicalmomma 1]

Hi FarmerE :wave: My mother also had a lot of doubts. She didn't come out and say "I don't think you should do this", but she was less than supportive at first. I finally had to tell her to either support me or let's talk about something else because I was VERY close to my surgery date and could not afford negativity on top of the other stressors. I've only been banded a little over a week and she's sent me a card, called several times, and is VERY up beat! She's my biggest supporter again! I'll bet your mom will come around too. As soon as it's said and done, and there's nothing more she can do about it, she'll settle in and begin cheering you along just like every other time

[LLSibley 1]

That is the very reason I didn't tell my mom and some of my sisters and all my brothers. The one sister I told way ahead of time didn't think it was such a good idea. I told her to google it and learn more. My one son was the same way until he researched it. Their main concern then was that I was going to Mexico to do it. I still haven't told any more of my family because they all live out of state. They were down a couple of weeks ago for my son's wedding and I just told them I was on a high Protein, no white carbs, limited fats diet. My one sister that knows said mom commented on my weight loss after she got home and told her about the diet I was doing. I didn't lie, I just left out a few facts. My 3 adults kids are very supportive. Of course I had to tell them because they all live around here and would notice I was missing for 4 days when I went to Mexico. We can't have mom missing. I even have to leave notes when I go shopping for a couple of hours.

[derbygirl 0]

Ultimately, this is your decision and your life. Do what you think is best for you and ignore everyone else.