Not quite my best day...

[melissalee 2]

I'm not quite sure if I over or under estimated how difficult this would be. I feel completely pathetic for not being able to get over my basic NEED for food. I try so hard to be good by drinking my Water and getting my protem but I just can't get over my obsession over food. I am constantly thinking of cheeseburgers and fnes, pizza and chicken fried steak. And I realize that it is purely psychological because I obsess over it even after I'm full. My daughter begged me for a Happy Meal today so I conceded. More out of tiredness and frustration of personal matters. So I got one for her and one for me thinking "I'11 only chew a little on the meat itself and spit it track out." But you know you still inadvertantly swallow a little, couldn't have been more than half a bite but I thought I would die. I couldn't move, I wanted to throwup and I was in pain for 2 hours. And I kept thinking to myself that l'll never do this again. But don't you know that 2 hours later when the pain had passed and my husband got home and fixed himself some eggs and bacon all l could think of was having some. Does this ever go away?

[sassaay 1]

Melissa,

You won't know until you get further into your journey whether or not you will be able to eat a happy meal or join your husband in a small portion of eggs and bacon... but right now you are still in the healing phase. Please do your best to follow your doctors orders, so that you band has a chance to set properly and heal.

I think that you will find that a number of us on this forum still deal with 'head hunger' and sometimes it is very very difficult. I can only share my experience and hopefully others will join in and add their support. :cheeky

I have a slight fill and cannot eat the way I did pre-band, but I can still consume a good amount of food. I don't PB, but sometimes things like bread or hard veggies get stuck for a few moments. After a while this stuck experience becomes a physical que that helps me to not grave these types of food. I use to always turn to breads, chips and other carbs when I was binge eating... now I am finding that my cravings for these types of foods has decreased. I still want them every now and then, but if something goes down really slow it makes it so much easier to avoid it the next time.

It is my hope that after a year of being banded and working on my 'head hunger' issues and the real reasons why I want to overeat, I will find it easier and easier to get to my goals.

I wish you the same success and don't be so hard on yourself... you are healing and that is the most important thing to remember right now. You want your band to be in the best condition to help you along this journey.

All the best,

[LisaMG 5]

Hi Mellisa,

I experienced the same thing your going thru right now. It does end. You'll go thru several stages as you are torn away from the things you find comfort in. I know I did and am! It's like a metamorphasis thing. You'll emerge from your cacoon a new person when this is all over. Even tho I think it will never officially be over for me.

I've been banded for about three months now. Somedays are harder than others. But I welcome the change. Anyting is better than being able to commit suiside via overeating! It's a slow and miserable death.

Hang in there and think of the good things. Find other things your intrested in doing to replace all the time you used to feed your self. I've found that I like to keep myself busy with housework, painting, scrapbooking, and spending time doing things I did'nt have the energy to do before the band.

This change will be good for you! You do have to want to change. You obviosly do want some change because you went ahead and had the surgery. Congratulations on taking a step in a healthier direction!

Good luck on finding your new pasion! Keep us posted and you can pm me if you need suport since we have simular struggles! You can do this! You will do this! Just keep thinking about the new you emerging!

[lapbander081004 7]

Melissa,

As you can see your not the only one with these ghosts hanging around. But what the two ladies have said is very true.

You just have to fight the fight and be strong. This step (surgery) you took was a major step. But the demons weren't removed we have to do that ourselves. I can only tell you my desires for the foods that got me to the operating table have faded to a tolerable level and someday will be gone. I lost my craving for canides which has totally surprised me and I got off the pop(soda) and that alone has been a major victory.

Just make small short term goals for your self and you will get there. Read as many of the treads you can and it will help you. You are not alone and we all welcome you and your struggles and will help you whenever we can. We only ask you give us your imput when you can as we will value it.

Just like Lisa your welcome to pm me if you need someone to talk to. I can only give a male point of view but so many here have helped me I owe big time to anyone I can help.

Best wishes

Greg

[PamRN 0]

I was banded on 9/21, and from the first through the third week, I felt like I was starving too. In comparison to my intake preband, I guess I was.

I'm now just over a month out, and the hunger has become manageable. I can eat pretty much anything that isn't doughy, or pasty like breads, crusts, or foods hard to chew down to nothing (dry meats). Though only in small portions.

I'm still learning to pay attention to eating while eating, or that mid-chest pain stops me right away. I hate that food stuck feeling, but it does teach you not to want the things that bring it on, to eat more slowly, and to chew really well. Water has become my drink of choice, which I still find unbelievable, and I'm sure that makes a difference in my hunger as well. It's an adjustment in our lifestyles, but have patience, (easy to say) and the band works.

[La_madam 20]

Hi Melissa

We all have our demons anmd we all have our ways of conquering them, you are not alone.... but I'm more concerend with is.. are you allowed solids all ready you were only banded 6 days ago? That is the important issue at hand...I was not allowed solid foods until 6 weeks post op.I was on liquids for 3 weeks then soft mushy foods for 2 weeks then solids .. It takes time to heal and for your band to set into place. I was told be eating solids to soon before I was all healed up could risk slippage of my band since the digestion process causes so much tumbling and rumbling of the stomach....I do not know what your doctors post op instructions were so please be careful..

Alot of people seek counseling or therapy for the compulsive eating and that is not a bad thing ...remember the band is a tool it does not make the choices of food for us , we have to do alot of the work still...I wish you all the success with your band. Hang in there..it does get easier.

[New Hope 37]

Melissa, we all are fighting that "food monster"! That's what got us overweight in the first place! Please try to take it one day at a time! Right now, you really need to be concentrating on following your dr's post-op orders. You have to let that band heal in place before you start running solid foods through it. Otherwise you risk losing your band and/or serious complications. The band will help us, but it won't do all the work for us. Do you have someone that can prepare the family meals for a few days so you don't have to be tempted? The "head hunger" is probably the hardest thing to deal with. But you can do it! If necessary, get your surgeon to recommend a psycholgist (sp.?) that deals w/ eating disorders. Please don't hold off getting the help you need to ensure you are a successful bandster.

[blossom 2]

Good luck, Melissa. I will be banded soon and I think I fear head hunger more than the surgery! I also think this forum will be very helpful in fighting it. The support from everyone here is just awesome! Hang in there, it will get better.

[melissalee 2]

Sorry for my fret fest last night. But I certainly feel much better today. I must be honest Michelle, I am not anywhere Near the solid food stage and I was cheating but I was so obsessed, I actually thought I could just chew it up and spit it back out (remember Sex and the City) but I still swallowed a little and so... But I have tried to get up today with a better attitude. Got up and made Breakfast for my daughter and dropped her off at school passing by about 3 Mcdonalds and a couple of Dunkin Donuts and though my old habit would have been to drop by and grab a fast and fattening breakfast, I managed to make it home to my chocolate flavored Protein Shake. So I'll reward myself with a little coffee later to give me a boost.

Thanks Lisa, Greg, Pam, Anne and Marie for your kind words and to the rest. I have been enjoying reading the past posts, knowing that what I am going through is not so unique and that there is support out there.

Here's to all of us SUCCESS!!

[Marimaru 7]

Yay Melissa

I think that the food cravings were worse in the liquid stage for me. I mean, when you can't have ANY real food at all, then what do you want of course? I got to mushies and had some really really over done mac n' cheese that was really smushy and it was the best thing in the whole world. You'll get past this and you'll be fine

[Zoe 6]

Good for you, Melissa, for passing up McD's and Dunkin Donuts! That's a major victory. When you get onto mushy foods it does get easier; if you're craving french fries, you can have mashed potatoes, and if you're craving a jelly donut, you can have yogurt. I know, they don't sound like great substitutes now, but believe it or not they actually help (at least they did for me). . . and while the head hunger doesn't go away completely, it does fade. Hang in there!

[Kelly Ann 0]

I was banded the same day as you were and you learned a valuable lesson by what you did with the Mc Donalds. The pain and feelings you had were not fun....you will soon not forget. I urge you though because I am telling myself the same thing....stick to the liquid diet and heal or you may screw something up and have problems. Who wants to have another procedure done??? Not me that is for sure... I have three kids and food is in my face here breakfast, lunches to be made and dinners. I even had unexpected company Sunday and we went out to a Fridays to eat....I ordered a smoothie and drank barely four sips , broc-cheese Soup maybe four sips and four tiny mouthfulls of vanilla ice cream. No one that I was with knew of my surgery but I know they noticed my lack of eating. It was something I had to just do and was not really prepared mentally for but I got through it and I did what I was supposed to do ---stay on the liquid diet . I almost popped something in my mouth while cooking actually twice and spit it right out because I was not even thinking!!! I was cooking thinking of something else. I asked my family to please try to take care of the food and cooking issues as much as possible until I am past this month of liquid and soft foods. It is hard though and Mom must do it . I hope you look into counseling or a support group --I actually am because I know there was much more going on in my head over my food issues than I realized. I need to talk it out and figure out how to really use this band properly and find an easy peace with food, hunger , and a normal weighing body .... So stay tough!!! I am with you ----Banded on the same day and I feel your pain but we will prevail over this and hopefully become like these wise sages on this site who have months behind them and are helping people like us. Thank God for these wonderful people on this site who tak the time to reach out....