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I just can't tell them about the surgery



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I am finally getting my band June 19th and my mom, who lives about 200 miles away, is coming in for the surgery. My stepfather is not making the trip with her. This is only a concern because he is mostly disabled due to a stroke so other people will have to help take care of him while she is gone.

I am not telling anyone in my family that does not need to know, so any ideas on what we can tell them is the reason for her visit? It’s not like my step dad can’t come, but he requires special accommodations that my apartment does not have. They would have to get a handicap hotel room, which my mom does not want to do; she wants to stay at my place while I recover. She will only be here for a couple of days.

Any suggestions??

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Well, I told my family I had to have a hernia repair (which I did have to have it repaird - and they did that the same time they put the band in).

I still haven't told anyone - very few people know.

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I feel bad for you not being able to tell you family.

I suppose if you know you will have relatives being negative it would be a reason I would choose not to tell.

Best of luck

edie

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I'm not telling my family either. Only my 3 closest friends know about the band. My surgery is on June 15th, a friday, which is also my day off from work. I will call in 'sick' on Saturday, and plan on going to work on Sunday. I need for everything to be smooth and go on with my normal routine, or else questions will be asked about absences and the diet change. As for what I'll tell co-workers about the liquid diet - 'food allergy.' I plan on telling them that I have been having horrible headaches (which I do get, thanks to genetics and stress!) and that the doc thinks it may be a food allergy, and I need to cleanse my system and start back slowly.

Well, I hate lying, so this will only come up if I'm asked... I live alone so family finding out isn't an issue. The hardest part for me is that once a week I meet a friend for dinner... won't be able to do that for a few weeks, and when I can, I won't be able to eat much. She'll notice.

I feel bad for not telling my mom, and I've addressed this issue on another thread. She is a HUGE worry-wart and would make herself sick about it and have me (mentally) burried if she knew I had to undergo anesthesia and get holes cut into me. I might tell her afterwards, but I can't do it yet. She'll try to talk me out of it...she'll want me to use will power, exercise, and Portion Control. She doesn't understand that I've tried that sooo many times in my life. She's never been fat.

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Just remember.....if you tell them you had your gall bladder out - and then you really have to have it out at a later date - well.....you get the picture. And it is very common to have g.b. problems after wls.

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Eh Suzzzie,

I'm being banded on the 15th June as well! what time is yours, I'm at 8am in the morning. I'm telling NO ONE! Only my Hubby knows, I'm not even telling my kids or anyone, well not yet! I'm in a similar position. I've got my sons Grad dinner this Wed, cannot eat as I'm on the pre op, cottage cheese thingy!!!! So I'm going to fake feeling unwell for that one! The best actor award goes to, the fat chick that's dying of stavation in the corner! Then I'm off to Uk to visit family and friends on the Mon after my op, terrible timing I know but, there has been family problems that mean I need to go. I was going to cancel and re book my op but I thought If I don't do it now, I just won't. So I'm in the same position, what the heck do I say to people who are used to see me chop down on almost anything, now seeing me reaching for a green tea.... I'm thinking, I'm going to go with the hiatal hernia, really stupid question now, what is that? Help me out here wasabubble butt, I've read a load of your posts and you really seem to know what your talking about! If you have any other advice, bring it on! Thanks

JX

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The hialtal hernia is perfect I've decided. The area, scars etc are the same. Post surgery you can blame not being able to eat on swelling, pain. I am telling family but I just don't want everyone else constantly looking to see if Ive lost weight and if I'll put it back on again like EVERY time before. I would rather tell everyone but I'm just so beaten down about weight issues after being fat since age 7 (47 now). Anyway here's to hernia surgery!!!!

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I'm sure everyone has a good reason why they don't want to share this with anyone but I opted to tell everyone and I am please with the support I have had at home, work, and church. I was so excited and I felt that I needed everyone to know to help reinforce my need for discipline. As for going back to work in two days...good luck with that...I still hurt alot in two days...very similar to my gallbladder surgery. Be careful, you will be very tired with taking in so few calories as your body adjust to the liquid diet.

My stance is there is nothing to be ashamed of...it's not a secret we are overweight...why should it be a secret on how we choose to loose the weight. You might be surprised by how supportive your peers are.

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The reason I'm not telling most of my family is they have a tendancy to tell everything. My grandmother starts talking and just spills her guts about everything she knows. This is one of those things I never planned on getting out to everyone, just people that need to know. I want to tell my family, but not the whole community.

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I wish you the best of luck with your recovery. I was banded on Wednesday and today, Sunday is still a bit rough. I know tomorrow will be better. If you don't want to tell anyone about your surgery, definately go with hernia repair. The gall-bladder that I had out six weeks ago was much easier. Best of luck to all.

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Eh Suzzzie,

I'm being banded on the 15th June as well! what time is yours, I'm at 8am in the morning. I'm telling NO ONE! Only my Hubby knows, I'm not even telling my kids or anyone, well not yet! I'm in a similar position. I've got my sons Grad dinner this Wed, cannot eat as I'm on the pre op, cottage cheese thingy!!!! So I'm going to fake feeling unwell for that one! The best actor award goes to, the fat chick that's dying of stavation in the corner! Then I'm off to Uk to visit family and friends on the Mon after my op, terrible timing I know but, there has been family problems that mean I need to go. I was going to cancel and re book my op but I thought If I don't do it now, I just won't. So I'm in the same position, what the heck do I say to people who are used to see me chop down on almost anything, now seeing me reaching for a green tea.... I'm thinking, I'm going to go with the hiatal hernia, really stupid question now, what is that? Help me out here wasabubble butt, I've read a load of your posts and you really seem to know what your talking about! If you have any other advice, bring it on! Thanks

JX

a hiatal hernia is in your diaphram, which separates your chest from your stomach. when you have a large hiatal hernia, your stomach slides thru the hole into your chest.. depending on the size of the hernia, sometimes it stays in the chest nd needs to be repaired

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