Sleeved 7/1/14 and failing miserably!

[jackersducky 17]

Hello All,

I was sleeved on 7/1/14 and initially lost 50lbs but have since gained 20 of those pounds back. I feel like i have completely failed myself and i don't know if it is too late to turn back and be successful. I could really use some help if anyone is willing to offer support.

Thank you all for listening,

Jackie

[JamieLogical 8,708]

What specifically have you been failing at that caused you to gain back 20 pounds? Have you been getting your Protein in? Your Water? Your exercise? What are the "wrong" foods that you are eating and how much of them are you eating? I don't think it's ever too late to turn things around, but you will definitely have to go back to the basics of protein first, getting in your water, and exercising regularly.

[ChristyD 8/2014 1]

How have you 'failed'? How is your Protein intake? Water? Exercise? I am feeling like a failure because I'm sitting in a stall...pretty much been a constant stall for months. I haven't gained anything back, but I am not losing...and I want to lose because I need to get down another 50 lbs to start trying for baby #2.

~Christy

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

@@jackersducky

It's very hard to offer any constructive advice with so little information.

Do you want to tell us more about what's going on with you / your eating / your lifestyle / your environmental factors affecting your weight gain?

[jackersducky 17]

I'm sorry i should have offered more information.

About a month after i got the sleeve surgery i started dating a wonderful man who also happens to be big. I have since gotten engaged to this gentleman. He has offered his undying support but it is difficult because he is going through a hard time at work so he has been stress eating. I find myself eating right along side of him.

Other than feeling fuller alot quicker than i used to i find that my sleeve has given me no other restrictions. I am pretty much able to eat anything with out any issues. I'm currently living in a two bedroom town house with my fiance and two other gentlemen. They keep the kitchen a wreck so i'm reluctant to cook in there and i'm too embarrassed to exercise down stairs infront of them.

I usually start my day off on the right foot with a protien shake but i seem to lose track by lunchtime often eating whatever is onhand at the office. My Doctor and Nutritionist have only ever instructed me to try and eat at least 90 grams of protien a day they have never given me any calorie goals.

I don't know if anyone else has encountered these kinds of set backs but i would love to see how you overcome them or any suggestions you could give me.

Thank you

[Roo101769 742]

You only fail if you give up. And as long as you are breathing then never give up. I could go on and on stating all the obvious facts.. The sleeve is a tool and you need to do your part to make it work. That being said here is some honest advice..Do not let others influence what you need to do for you. I get how a relationship can add comfort or cause you eat ways you shouldn't. But your fiancé is his own person and you are yours. Be sure to do for YOU. I also get the struggle to make things for yourself that are healthy while sharing (what sounds to be) a chaotic environment. But it is worth the effort so do try...Take a day every weekend to get some things made you can freeze and reheat. Explore recipes that offer you the Protein you need without the fat/calories/carbs you don't. Trust me, most recipes make enough servings for several meals. Keep grab and go food that is healthy so you don't reach for other alternatives. As far as exercise, leave the house. Don't worry about them seeing you because they see you already sitting around. ( sorry if that is blunt or harsh) They will certainly be more impressed if you are working your tail off to make it smaller, a little sweat can be sexy. LOL But if moving in front of them really bothers you then go out for a walk. Find a park or a school athletic center. Maybe you could join a fitness center. Spend some quality YOU time.

Please understand I am not a perfect role model. I need to practice a lot of what I preach myself. I have lost about 100lbs of my excess weight but have not reached goal. ( sleeved 10/21/13) The things is I am not giving up hope. I got this far and I can go further, it is up to me. Same for you...don't think you have failed. Try to regain your focus and get back up on the horse. You got this!

[ChristyD 8/2014 1]

So one thing I've started doing is a Protein shake for Breakfast and lunch, and limiting my carbs to #1 only whole grain, and #2 only at one meal. Granted the amount of food I can eat is much less, so the amount of that carb is very little...but I limit it to one a day. For Snacks I make sure i have healthy Snacks because, like you, I haven't had really any restrictions. I wish I did. I wish I couldn't eat sweets without dumping, or bread without throwing up...but alas, I can eat sweets and bread without any issue...just smaller amounts. So I've had to really re-train my thinking. I don't have things in my house that are trigger foods. I LOVE tomatoes, and have been buying the cherry tomatoes at Sams Club every weekend, then keeping them out on my counters and when I walk into the kitchen with a craving, I grab a couple of them, and then I'm good. I also really try to get all of my Water in. Before I leave work I try to make sure I have at LEAST 84 oz of Water. That keeps me from snacking at work, because I'm really full with the water, haha.

My doctors don't tell me a calorie goal because my nutritionist said not to focus on calories. Focus on Protein, and the calories will come. So I really don't count calories...but if I look at myfitnesspal I am usually around 1000-1200. I would say just make sure you are getting a good amount of protein in, get your water, and now that the weather is warming up maybe go outside for walks? I walk on my 2 breaks at work, and make sure I get at least a mile in, and that helps a TON. That way if I don't make it to the gym, then I have at least gotten in 30 min of walking.

Do you have MyFitnessPal? Possibly a FitBit? They've been a huge help for me!

[JamieLogical 8,708]

My nutritionist refused to give me calorie targets as well, just a Protein target of 100 grams and a list of foods to avoid. If you are putting Protein first and actually getting 90 grams a day, you likely won't have room for a whole lot else. So stay focused on that protein target! That may help you cut out some of the unhealthier foods just by default, because you won't have room for them.

With spring coming, could you get outside to walk at least? Ideally you would want more intensity and more variety, but walking would be a great start!

[heynowkc 329]

@@JamieLogical Yikes, I don't know if I've ever gotten 100 grams / day in! Wonder if I should worry about that. I'm just over 3 months out. When did your dietitian give you this goal? Maybe I should strive for it as well. I was told 2 Protein supplements/snacks a day + 3 meals where protein comes first, then veggies. My supplements give me ~40-60 grams per day (depending on which ones I have) and then the other three meals rarely (if ever??) make up 40 more grams, let alone 60 more! How do you do it?

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

@@jackersducky - That's not quite a year out. Is there any reason you can't contact your program and schedule a follow up appointment with them. Seeing the doctor and nutritionist might be a more helpful way to help get you back on track.

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

@@heynowkc - You work up to it. I was given minimum goal of at least 60 grams of Protein. It took a good 2 -3 weeks to work up to meeting that. However once I got that under control I was able to see how I could add in more while balancing my other micro-nutrients. I average about 70-80gms a day, but occasionally go higher. Yesterday I hit 92. It takes some time. Just keep shooting for it.

Edited March 25, 2015 by BLERDgirl

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

@@jackersducky - Is there anyway you can develop stress relievers that aren't food related? That's a good tool to have even for people who haven't had WLS. Someone mentioned walking. This is not on a nice couples thing to do, it can also be a good stress reliever. How about an after dinner or pre dinner couple walk? You get to talk and decompress after a long day and get in some exercise.

Another thing could be taking a free or low cost class together. Meetup.com has great ones available. Check also your local library and community centers.

Keep the focus on doing something as a couple and making it non food related. Let those be the main parameters so he doesn't feel like he's being forced to diet.

[jackersducky 17]

I honestly hadn't thought of a follow up because I have been embarrassed but I guess there is no reason to be. I appreciate the feedback even the blunt feedback there is no need to sugarcoat. I know the reality I guess I just need a swift kick in the you know what lol. What is meet up? I have never heard of it before? My fiancé broke his foot so walks with him are off the table for now but it is in my future plans when he is better.

[jackersducky 17]

I apologize for the sporadic posts I'm still at work and checking when I get the chance I appreciate all the advice I am going to look into all that is posted here and perhaps call my nut.

[JamieLogical 8,708]

@@JamieLogical Yikes, I don't know if I've ever gotten 100 grams / day in! Wonder if I should worry about that. I'm just over 3 months out. When did your dietitian give you this goal? Maybe I should strive for it as well. I was told 2 Protein supplements/snacks a day + 3 meals where Protein comes first, then veggies. My supplements give me ~40-60 grams per day (depending on which ones I have) and then the other three meals rarely (if ever??) make up 40 more grams, let alone 60 more! How do you do it?

Originally I was told to aim for 100 grams as soon as possible post-op. I got there maybe sometime around month 3? After I'd been on solids for about a month? But then in my latest consult with the nutritionist at 6 months, they said try to get to 100 grams by one year post-op, so I guess they've changed their tune, but I've already been at 100 grams for a while, so I'm just staying here.