How have you changed?

[gowalking 10,790]

We all know how we've changed the outside of ourselves but what about the inner person? Once we become smaller/healthier/more active, how does that affect who we are and how we act/react to things? I'm not necessarily talking about an obvious NSV but more how the inside changes along with the outside.

Some of the obvious things are self confidence and self image improvement. I know that I don't keep my head down the way I used to. I look people in the eye these days and I don't hesitate to engage someone I'm in the elevator with, or on line with while waiting to purchase a coffee or whatnot. I know I have a confidence about me that has been missing for a very long time.

I also know that I have to remind myself not to feel superior to heavy people just because I don't look like that anymore. I know if I'm not diligent, I will be right back there again. I also have to remind myself to be patient with someone slower. I used to be that person...walking but struggling with the pain of degenerating hips. Using a cane and having to stay out of people's way for fear of being pushed aside or knocked over. I can walk almost normally now and believe it or not, I am one of those annoyed people if I get behind a slow poke. I can't believe I am not always sensitive about this as I am only a year or so out from that same situation.

Anybody else have any thoughts about how they have changed since starting their weight loss journey..or even having met goal?

Edited March 25, 2015 by gowalking

[bikrchk 1,313]

Well.. I used to test "introvert" INTJ and now I test "extrovert" ENTJ. I like to think I was more outgoing all along, that girl was just being smothered by a fat girl! I just have a lot more confidence and care a lot less about what others think now.

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

Great topic.

I'm actively working on my "insides" on several fronts.

What has/is changing:

I say "yes" more. It's a conscious, often difficult choice, but I say yes when the old me would say no. I just signed up to walk a 5k because someone here challenged me and I said yes. When I am asked to social things I say yes unless I truly have a scheduling conflict. This is new behavior.

I eat alone in restaurants easily without shame.

I eat inside Subway/etc. instead of a drive thru.

I'm not embarrassed at the movies if someone sits next to me. They have arm room now. I may even smile and say hello.

I'm brave. I'm going through a scary and contested divorce and with help from several sources, I am brave. I've started looking at houses. Scares me to death but I'm brave.

I walk for pleasure. On a nice day I get two miles in on my lunch hour.

I adorn myself. I do my nails, wear a little lipstick, earrings, jewelry.

I get down on the floor to play with the dog.

I walk 528 stairs at work every day because I can. Yep. 24 flights.

I'm a work in progress and I hope I always remain teachable.

I will never ever ever give up on myself.

[Elode 8,093]

I think I'm even more outgoing (if possible) I'm not shy or reserved. I'm also not afraid to speak up in public because I'm afraid of what I may look like (weight wise) I'm not even done yet I'm still 202 lbs but you can't tell my brain that, it thinks I'm 150 and ready to streak through the campus! Ring the alarm!!!

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

I'm gonna LOVE this thread!

(Still thinking about my responses to it.)

Thank you @@gowalking .

[Healthy_life2 8,324]

@@gowalking

Before surgery I flat lined in ICU and then watched my mother and father in law gracefully except they were dieing from cancer.

I changed. I want to live a life my mother was not able too. I have wasted too many years. I don't take any thing for granted.

I have to take my enthusiasm down a couple of notches. I have realized my level of of enthusiasm is not everyone's. I am a genuinely happy person. Trust me this is a big change from my negative miserable past.

I would rather build people up then tear them down. Far too many people out there that are negative. I just refuse to be that way.

I'm an adrenaline junkie. Kayaking, distance running, challenging my self... i want to experience every thing. Life is just far too short.

I am GIRLY! from years of working in a prison supervising men, wearing polyester uniforms with combat boots. Being one of the guys with my co workers. I now watch youtube tutorials on make up. paint my nails and even wear dresses. Who knew..

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Some of the changes I'm experiencing so far (other than losing 80 pounds, feeling immensely less pain, wearing size 10s, losing my agoraphobia) are ...

Walking differently --
These days I'm standing and walking straighter, walking faster, pushing my shoulders back and tits out (better posture), experimenting with my still-changing center of gravity, not waddling back and forth (so much). This is important to me because how I move communicates so much to myself and to others about my physical and psychological vitality. How I stand and move teaches me how to feel about myself and teaches others how to respond to me.

Suffering fools --

Many great jokes start out with "There are two types of people ...." Happily, most of us realize that people aren't easily sorted into two categories, although some idiots actually do believe that. (Laugh, people!)

But seriously, folks, my responses to others' behavior and beliefs have always varied in the many degrees between critical and empathic. I'm semi-famous in my profession for (15 years ago) turning to another person in a room of 100 other professionals and saying, "Why don't you stop whining and just do your f**king job!" And that's how I feel on this board sometimes. I want to type, "You knew (or should have known) what you were signing up for when you had the sleeve. Just stop whining and comply with your program."

On the other hand, there are people here who have major problems I can identify with whose mental and emotional agonies are completely understandable. Because I've been fortunate and not had any complications I seldom have any helpful advice to offer. But I have so much respect for their persistence and, in most instances, their eventual victories. Consequently I cut them major slack and wish I could help in some way.

But others ... sheesh! Although I'm a left-wing, pinko commie liberal Democrat, when I read too many posts in quick succession from those who think the only socially responsible response to someone who's whining about not feeling up to par today is "Oh, you poor, poor baby!" I want to throw up.

My own response to myself in situations like this is "Suck it up!" I really do believe that WLS was the best thing that's happened to me in a long, long time. So if you don't have a leak or a fistula or a stricture or gastroparesis or sepsis or other conditions that are quite serious and your life is horrible because "Water doesn't taste good anymore" or you're jonesing for pizza or you can't stop eating ice cream, my personal opinion (whether I ever actually express it on the board or not) is that you should STFU and comply with the f**king program.

Of course, others' mileage may vary. But that's my take on it.

Fat people --

I'm newly not fat. And I'm immensely relieved and happy not to be fat right now. But I'm also worried about becoming fat again. I'd be an idiot not to worry. Every time I've lost a significant amount of weight, I've gained it back and more. So seeing fat people makes me feel a lot of things simultaneously: relief, fear, worry, repugnance (at how their appearance reminds me of my formerly fat self and lifestyle), worry (wait, I said that already), and, oh yeah, worry.

I have a lot more to learn about this. I haven't completely figured out yet how I could have let myself get in the horrific condition I was in prior to WLS. And yes, I do see some obvious connections between my remarks here and my remarks above re Suffering Fools. I'll continue to explore those connections with my shrink.

Edited March 24, 2015 by VSGAnn2014

[heynowkc 329]

I'm sitting here laughing at myself because somehow I never really let my size dictate how vocal/friendly I was. I am noticing a lot of these changes are in reference to that. My brain knows I am fat, but my mouth sure doesn't! HAHAHA. Still have a long way to go. It'll be interesting to see how/if my personality changes. As for "introvert vs extrovert" I've always been an E! (ENFP.)

[McButterpants 2,846]

I am 18 months out - I want to lose more weight, but am happy where I am. The number on the scale doesn't mean as much to me today as it did 18 months ago.

How I have changed? I'm the "old" me...the one I used to like, but lost her somewhere along the way.

I am more confident - I look people in the eye when I talk to them. I walk into a room more confident and not worried about finding a way to the other side without hitting people with my ass as I try to fit between tables. I don't avoid talking to people any more - if I see someone I know, I approach them, rather than looking the other way.

I received a promotion at work and a fat pay raise - I don't think I got the promotion because I'm 75 pounds lighter, I think I got the promotion because I don't walk around like I'm pissed off at everyone all the time. I'm more calm, I am better able to handle stressful situations and, again, I'm more confident.

My life is completely different that it was 2 years ago when I was toying with the idea of having surgery...My relationship with my family is better - my son and husband don't have to pussyfoot around me any more. I'm not so quick to get angry. food no longer rules every thought of every day - my weight is not what I think of the first thing when I get up in the morning and the last thing when I go to sleep.

I can do 80 minutes of hot yoga - I love hot yoga, something I wouldn't have thought to try 18 months ago. I hike - I love being outdoors and exploring. I walked 17 miles in one day in San Francisco last month and enjoyed every step. I spent 2 days wandering around Paris and didn't think once "Oh my God, I am tired and need to stop!"

I am an active participant in my own life again. I am in control. My life is mine and I love it!

[carter2wallace 1]

Great topic.

I'm actively working on my "insides" on several fronts.

What has/is changing:

I say "yes" more. It's a conscious, often difficult choice, but I say yes when the old me would say no. I just signed up to walk a 5k because someone here challenged me and I said yes. When I am asked to social things I say yes unless I truly have a scheduling conflict. This is new behavior.

I eat alone in restaurants easily without shame.

I eat inside Subway/etc. instead of a drive thru.

I'm not embarrassed at the movies if someone sits next to me. They have arm room now. I may even smile and say hello.

I'm brave. I'm going through a scary and contested divorce and with help from several sources, I am brave. I've started looking at houses. Scares me to death but I'm brave.

I walk for pleasure. On a nice day I get two miles in on my lunch hour.

I adorn myself. I do my nails, wear a little lipstick, earrings, jewelry.

I get down on the floor to play with the dog.

I walk 528 stairs at work every day because I can. Yep. 24 flights.

I'm a work in progress and I hope I always remain teachable.

I will never ever ever give up on myself.

That's absolutely AWESOME!

[LipstickLady 25,682]

What a great question! I'm going to think on this and end up adding stuff later, I have no doubt.

I don't think I've changed much as far as personality. I've always been strong, confident, extroverted, cheerful, an overachiever. I'm a leader and I enjoy teaching people, speaking in front of others, bossing people around...

I think with the weight loss, I'm still me, but I'm ME magnified (or as my BFF says, "on crack". HA!). I'm a bit louder, a little sassier, less patient with foolishness and I move a lot faster. I want to catch up on everything I've missed out on. I work and play harder than ever and I pity the fool who gets in my way.

I've always been active -- swimming, hiking, kayaking, martial arts, etc., but now on top of all that, I do mud runs, Zumba, power yoga. I look for opportunities to push myself because I want to challenge myself, not just to prove to others I can regardless of my weight as I used to.

I liked myself before, I have a total crush on me now. My ass has gotten smaller, but my head has gotten bigger (to accommodate my mouth maybe?). I was happy before, I am thrilled now. Instead of just picking out an outfit that fits, I look forward to decorating my new body with cute (little!) clothes. I no longer wear mostly black with pops of color, I wear COLOR and sometimes black. My heels have gotten higher, my jeans have gotten skinnier, and my handbags have gotten smaller. (Was I hiding behind it before? I don't know!) I actually WANT to run into people I knew in college, I want to be in pictures, I want to grace everyone with the pleasure of my company.

My world is shinier, the sky is bluer, the birds sing louder, and my bubble will not be popped. This girl is ec-freaking-static.

[Packerfan61964 293]

The only thing that has changed about me is my pants size.