When I see a seriously overweight young woman, I have this overwhelming urge...

[heynowkc 329]

Good grief.

[LindsB 37]

Maybe you should hand out literature. I'm 26 years old, and wish someone would have told me "it's ok to think about/have weight loss surgery" when I was 20. My 20 year old self would have thanked you.

Nope. Nope. Nope.

I can't imagine the blow to one's self esteem that would be if a perfect stranger handed you such literature. (You being general/plural.) It's not as if these young women don't KNOW they are fat. It's not as if they don't KNOW they are making bad choices. It's not as if they know ME or know my intentions.

Nope. For me that's a big nope.

I wish there was something that could have made me have a reality check back in my early 20's (I'm 27 now), but truthfully, I wouldn't listen if anyone said anything. Until recently I was in such denial about my weight that I refused to discuss it with anyone. I wish sooo much that I had been able to face my weight sooner, but am so thankful that I'm in this place now rather than another 10 years down the road. It's so frustrating that there's nothing we can do, everyone has to come to things in their own time.

[Jendroppinglbs 24]

I am not "scolding" anyone I am just simply saying sometimes people forget where they came from and they have to remember how it would have made them feel if someone would have done that to them or how it would make you feel if you had an overweight teenager/young adult and someone approached them in the mall about WLS and your child came home in tears over it. My husband is severly overweight and will be having his surgery in a month or two and I have a teenage daughter who is overweight as well. My point was that if a random stranger approached my teenage daughter and started to talk to her about WLS the Momma bear in me would come out and tell you to beat feet. WLS is a topic that I would bring up with my daughter not something a random stranger should bring up. No one needs to take it upon themselves to approach a stranger about WLS. It is as bad as a person who no longer drinks and feels it is there obligation to tell you why alcohol is so bad or someone who has found religion again and feels the need to tell you why there god is better, It is a topic that should not be brought up to random strangers if people want to discuss it with family and friends that is one thing but to approach a total stranger is not acceptable in my opinion. Some people may feel diffent about it that is why we all have a different opinion I was just simply expressing mine as other were expressing theres. So if you felt you were being "scolded" that was not my intention as you were not the only one who had posted on this topic. I have recieved in the mail before from a "person with good intentions" ads for weight loss pills, exercise videos etc. mailed directly to me from a random person just trying to help me out was what the note enclosed in the envelope said. Do I know who sent them no but it was someone close enough to me to know my full name and address so I am very touchy about being approached by people with "good intentions" about weight loss help. All those ads and letter did was upset me. When I was ready to make a change I did the research and found out what steps I had to take to qualify for weight loss surgery.

Edited March 24, 2015 by Jendroppinglbs

[Bobby46 327]

Youre right....nope nope nope. I used to be approached by those people who wore buttons that said "lose weight now, ask me how" It always upset and angered me.

This day and age it would be very difficult to find anyone with a weight issue who doesn't know about all the books, tv shows, dvd's, diet programs, diet pills and weight loss surgeries. Diet and nutrition are on tv almost as much as pizza and cheeseburger commercials. It took me a decade to decide to do the surgery. 10 yrs my friends. Everyone has to get to the point where they are ready to lose weight before it can happen.....with any of the choices listed above. Do I wish I did it 10 yrs ago.....OH MY GOD, YES YES YES! But...it would have really upset me if someone came up to me and started talking to me about it out of the blue. I just wasn't ready then.

I was an overweight teen. My parents did what they knew how to in the early 80's.....signed me up for jazzercise and gave me dexatrim. They were never home...always working. Meals were quick and unhealthy. My brother and sister were thin and ate the same meals. I stopped at the 7 Eleven and got candy and slurppies after school everyday and grabbed chips and candy to hide under my bed. Sometimes parents just cant help. They just don't know how or theyre trying but the child is just sneaking around and eating junk. Obesity is not always easy to fix. There are a lot of emotional things that need to be conquered as well as providing healthy food choices and exercise.

I have a niece who is very over weight. Shes 16. She is way heavier than I was at that age. Have you ever talked to a teenager? They can be horrible little beings! lol Especially if you are suggesting anything or voicing your opinion! Mean, hormonal, emotional monsters! My niece knows that I had surgery and she sees me all the time. We have never talked about it. She knows she can ask and I will talk to her. She has watched me take the weight off and put it back on. She knows she can come to me about anything and I will keep it secret. But...like me....she gets very upset if someone tries to discuss weight loss with her. She has PCOS and it makes it harder. So she is struggling. She will do something about it when she is ready.

But.....I know what you mean. I would love to grab my niece and force a change. But that's just impossible.

[LisaAlwaysSmiling 21]

One of my best friend at work is a really big guy. I'd say he's well over 400 pounds. He's one of only two coworkers who know about my surgery and one of only two people I told who were opposed to my surgery. I wish there was some way to change his thinking about WLS, because I think it would be very beneficial for him. He's in his early 40s and already has knee and back issues due to his weight. I try to just be a good example of what WLS can achieve, but I don't dare bring up the subject of HIM getting the surgery, because I know he was opposed to my having it. It's such a sensitive subject, which is unfortunate, because I think if we were able to bring it up in a relaxed and casual way, it might really help a lot of people in our lives.

My niece who will be 40 next year is like a sister to me and she's over 400 pounds and I wish she would have taken this journey with me, however she is totally against it.

She had a stomach virus a few years ago and lost about 75 lbs (have since gained it back) and the doctors could never figure out what it was, so she says that's why she doesn't want to have WLS.

She loves to travel and every time we go somewhere I'm the one concerned about her fitting into the seats or whatever. She don't appear to have any worry about it.

Hopefully she will follow my lead once I'm sleeved and doing well.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

I am not "scolding" anyone I am just simply saying sometimes people forget where they came from and they have to remember how it would have made them feel if someone would have done that to them or how it would make you feel if you had an overweight teenager/young adult and someone approached them in the mall about WLS and your child came home in tears over it. My husband is severly overweight and will be having his surgery in a month or two and I have a teenage daughter who is overweight as well. My point was that if a random stranger approached my teenage daughter and started to talk to her about WLS the Momma bear in me would come out and tell you to beat feet. WLS is a topic that I would bring up with my daughter not something a random stranger should bring up. No one needs to take it upon themselves to approach a stranger about WLS. It is as bad as a person who no longer drinks and feels it is there obligation to tell you why alcohol is so bad or someone who has found religion again and feels the need to tell you why there god is better, It is a topic that should not be brought up to random strangers if people want to discuss it with family and friends that is one thing but to approach a total stranger is not acceptable in my opinion. Some people may feel diffent about it that is why we all have a different opinion I was just simply expressing mine as other were expressing theres. So if you felt you were being "scolded" that was not my intention as you were not the only one who had posted on this topic. I have recieved in the mail before from a "person with good intentions" ads for weight loss pills, exercise videos etc. mailed directly to me from a random person just trying to help me out was what the note enclosed in the envelope said. Do I know who sent them no but it was someone close enough to me to know my full name and address so I am very touchy about being approached by people with "good intentions" about weight loss help. All those ads and letter did was upset me. When I was ready to make a change I did the research and found out what steps I had to take to qualify for weight loss surgery.

You obviously didn't read my posts completely as I said in my original post and a follow up post that I would never approach someone about their weight. I might want to, but I wouldn't. Here you go:

I want to approach her and hand her literature on the benefits of WLS. I want to urge her to drop that doughnut. those fries, that frappaccino and start a lowcarb/high Protein diet NOW NOW NOW while she still has good knees, a strong back, a great metabolism. I want to tell her to get that weight off NOW so she can spend her 20s and 30s looking great in the latest fashions, enjoy shopping at ANY store, maintain her healthy heart.

But I won't and it kills me. EVERY.SINGLE.DAY.

Maybe you should hand out literature. I'm 26 years old, and wish someone would have told me "it's ok to think about/have weight loss surgery" when I was 20. My 20 year old self would have thanked you.

Nope. Nope. Nope.

I can't imagine the blow to one's self esteem that would be if a perfect stranger handed you such literature. (You being general/plural.) It's not as if these young women don't KNOW they are fat. It's not as if they don't KNOW they are making bad choices. It's not as if they know ME or know my intentions.

Nope. For me that's a big nope.

[Jendroppinglbs 24]

I am not going to sit here and bicker back and forth with you about who read what post as obviously you did not read mine as I said my comments were not addressed to you or anyone in paticular. My comments were my opinion and if you don't like my opinion that is fine I was under the impression that I was also able to post my opinion as others had but obviously I was wrong. I hope you have a great day.

Edited March 24, 2015 by Jendroppinglbs

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Yeesh! Today is a day ain't it!?!?!

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

And it's not even a full moon -- next one is April 4.

I dunno what's going on.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

I'll moon all of ya'!

[LipstickLady 25,682]

I am not going to sit here and bicker back and forth with you about who read what post as obviously you did not read mine as I said my comments were not addressed to you or anyone in paticular. My comments were my opinion and if you don't like my opinion that is fine I was under the impression that I was also able to post my opinion as others had but obviously I was wrong. I hope you have a great day.

Nope. Not bickering, just clarifying.

I don't see where you said that your comments were or were not addressed to me or anyone else. I actually asked you outright in an effort to understand but no answer was given.

Never did I say you had no right to express your opinion, nor did I say I agreed/disagreed. It's so funny that you seem to be a bit perturbed at me when my opinion pretty much goes along with yours.

[Jendroppinglbs 24]

Not "perturbed" with you at all and as I said before if you think my comments were about you then run with it. There were other poster who put up comments about how they wish someone would have approached them about WLS so maybe did you think I was giving my opinion to there comments but as I said before if you want to sit here and think my comments were about you feel free to. I came to this site looking for advise and to have decent conversations with people who have been through this process and try to gain some knowledge from them not sit here and bicker back and forth with someone who assumes a post I write is directed at them. So, as I said earlier hope you have a great day and I will move on to a more positive post.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Not "perturbed" with you at all and as I said before if you think my comments were about you then run with it. There were other poster who put up comments about how they wish someone would have approached them about WLS so maybe did you think I was giving my opinion to there comments but as I said before if you want to sit here and think my comments were about you feel free to. I came to this site looking for advise and to have decent conversations with people who have been through this process and try to gain some knowledge from them not sit here and bicker back and forth with someone who assumes a post I write is directed at them. So, as I said earlier hope you have a great day and I will move on to a more positive post.

Which is WHY I asked you directly if you were speaking to me -- you know, trying to communicate effectively and all that jazz.

But, never mind. It's all good. You have a great night, too.

[Cupcake 801]

I really feel bad for them because I understand how food can control your life and how it is use to hide other issues such as depression, stress eating and other problems. The pain in their eyes you just want to tell them things can get Bette with proper eating , making good choices as well as weight lost surgury .

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

@@Cupcake - WUT? Project much? Let me tell you at 20 I was happy! No pain in my eyes. As I said earlier I was climbing the Great Wall of China, the runs ins Xel -Ha and swimming with the dolphins. I also ate for the most part fairly nutritious. food didn't control my life, my body rebelling against me did.