Anyone get mad at you yet over what you can and can't have...

[amponder 396]

This post could really be for any of us. My mother in law invited our family over for lasagna, she makes killer lasagna, but I declined because I can't have Pasta. I was told that she can't be expected to cook just for me and my needs. lol I never asked her to, I just told her I wasn't going to come, for that very reason I don't expect people to change what they eat, or cook for me, but I also am not going to put myself in a situation where I am driving myself crazy thinking about wanting something, but not being able to have it, smells really get to me right now. Years from now I might have my cravings and longings for things I love but choose not to eat under control, I am only 4 months out, it's too soon. I can handle restaurants fairly well cause I can order my own yummy high Protein low carb meal, but other peoples houses are harder.

[foreversleeved08 74]

Why not pre-make your own meal and take it with you? just like at a restaurant...that way you can spend time with your family without being miserable in the face of temptation.

Just a thought, if you're not ready don't beat urself up over it there will be many others im sure!

[gowalking 10,790]

This is probably about more than just food. Is it possible that family dynamics are also playing a part? While your MIL may feel like she shouldn't cook specifically for you, she may be hurt that you refuse to go to the house.

I understand wanting to stay away from trigger foods but what about bringing your own food? You order food in a restaurant that's a better choice for you so why not bring better food choices to your MIL's house?

I'm truly sympathetic to your concerns...heck, my family often unintentionally tries to sabotage my progress. They are very happy that I've done so well, but can't understand why I sit at the table with an empty plate in front of me when I've finished my meal and don't reach for seconds.

That's when I remind them that eating small portions is what helped me to lose the weight. Why not try to accomodate your MIL while still making sure you don't put yourself in a risky position? However, if it's something you just cannot do right now, I would agree that you must take care of yourself first and do what's best for you.

Good luck...I know how mothers-in-law can be...which is why I try hard not to be that way with my daughters-in-law...lol.

[KateP 359]

As others say, take your own. Better than risking upsetting family members! But it is a shame your MIL can't understand and support you.

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

I think this part was easy for me. I'm a vegetarian with food allergies. Unless I was out with only vegetarians I was always odd man out. I was never tempted to eat the foods I'm allergic to because my allergy reaction was anaphylaxis.

I learned long ago to either not eat or bring my own. I also became quite adept at informing people beforehand. I'd say something like "I'd love to come & spend time with you all but I can't have ____. I don't want to put you out. Do you mind if I bring my own?"

If the family was having lasagna, you could have done a ricotta bake. Similar flavors so you wouldn't feel deprived. Sometimes people would ask what I could eat and make it for me, but I never expected that.

I always made sure people knew it was their company that I valued the most.

[pink dahlia 2,513]

I cant eat the lasagna noodles , they're too thick so I just eat the meat sauce and some salad and im good. Maybe try that ?? Win win for all, and it would be good practice for future meals as you wont be able to eat everything at a meal, but will figure out how to eat around certain foods. ( for me, thick noodles, most breads, some rice and meats ) . Good luck !!

[amponder 396]

thanks everyone maybe if my mother in law had as much sense as all of you I'd have done some of the things suggested eating the sauce and the meat or bringing my own, but she went right for the not going to cook just for you thing and it rubbed me wrong.

[Kitt3000 757]

In all honesty, my dad, probably same generation? Would have said, this is what's being made, eat it or not, your choice. It's what their parents did, some even born during depression years when if you had anything to eat, it was a blessing.

Having said that, I have vegetarian sibs, one veg child, one super clean eater, one only organic, free range etc.. So, I do the best I can, but sometimes, all it takes is asking, could you set aside some sauce only for the vegetarian, sauce and organic or free range etc... And it works out. The other option is bringing your own version and not missing out on quality family time. I see my sibs about once a year, and it always saddens and disappoints me, when the one who is strictly organic refuses to come, possibly because something was prepared incorrectly. Part of the problem was so many family functions revolve around food, because let's face it, everyone has busy work, school, athletics, etc... But everyone needs to eat, and feed our relationships too. Good luck to you, you are right in that it gets easier the longer you are on your path to health!

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

My mom used to get mad when they would go to a steak house and I would stay home. It took repeatedly telling her I wasn't paying $50 for mediocre salad for her to finally get the message.