Jumping to Conclusions!

[lclemur 161]

I really, really appreciate the support of this sight. But, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, clarify before you jump all over someone! Words (especially the written word) can be misconstrued. I posted recently about a 4 week depression and doubting my decision. I mentioned eating a kids meal (portion!) and suddenly I am hanging out at McDonalds! Seriously?? I had a kids meal at Red Robin. It consisted of grilled chicken skewers with no sauce, and steamed/undressed broccoli (which I highly recommend if you are looking for a fun place to go with small/healthy options.) The drink was a diet lemonade, which I drank much later on the drive home. A perfectly health, reasonable choice. I was depressed because I was only able to eat about a third of it! Other restaurants have kids meals! Albeit, most consist of mac 'n cheese and hotdogs, but not all restaurants. I am trying very hard to go places with my family and not screwing up. These comments, however well meaning their intent, have really upset me, and I am seriously thinking of "checking out" of this site.

[woo woo 872]

Don't let one or two ruin your experience. The vast majority of people on here are helpful and compassionate.

The ones jumping all over you are most likely reacting to their own issues anyway.

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

I was in that thread. Most comments weren't rude, but perhaps it would have been easier to nip that in the bud and clarify than create a separate post to complain. Most people here want to assist, but often people aren't clear enough in their initial post to enable us to help.

[lclemur 161]

BLERDgirl: I posted a new topic because the newest responses to a topic end up on the bottom where few will see it. Am I wrong? Often times, when I am reading a topic, I don't continue all the way to the last page.

[LSF 264]

Well said. I was talking to one of my friends about that post , I saw that you said " kids meal" and I was telling her- that doesn't mean " fast food" it could have just been a children's size healthy meal. There are days when I'm tempted to stop going on this site. The Thread about Sugar Vs artificial sweeteners was also very heated. I stopped reading that one a long time ago. There have been times I wanted to start a thread about some concerns I have but didn't want to deal with the people that just start bashing you for mistakes we make.

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

comments, however well meaning, upset me

@@lclemur

WARNING WARNING WARNING

extra long post, even for me

no, no, no!!!

pleeease don't run away mad

you are the best thing that has happened here (in the past 2 minutes anyways )

when you are reading a thread

if you are really interested read all the posts - top to bottom

otherwise you might be missing some doozies that i wrote!!

this is a wonderful journey you have embarked on

hope your thoughts/feelings have been gradually improving

the prob with computer boards, texting stuff like that..................

you can't see the other side of the coin/monitor

most people hopefully/probably are trying to be helpful

their sentences comments unfortunately could be misinterpreted

we ARE all wonderful people (especially me )

ask your questions, we love to help all

give support especially

you'll hear many good comments, suggestion, opinions, experiences

but at the end of the day always only listen to your NUT (nutritionist) or your doc

or me of course LOL

read alllll over the boards

you might/probably will find questions/comments that are similar to your situations

there is also a SEARCH area on top too

hope your spirits have gone upwards, along with your smile

some people do get depressed for awhile that they can't eat as much

getting used to having to change their eating habits

or just sad in general

it can be hard finding a place that you can eat properly (family friendly)

but many places are out there

wendy's is great

they have a small chili

i love their chicken salad (1/2 size) with pecans (don't have to eat them) vinegerette (msp ) dressing

other fast food places too

Red Robin sounds like it was a reat choice

broccoli, grilled chicken sound great

lemonade too

yum yum

only problem...................

why didn't you call me??

sure its true you will not/should not eat toooo much

some people do mourn their old eating ways

but all that eating you/me/we did in the past

got us in the same obesity boat

i don't want to sink anymore, how about you??

eating less, drinking more, upping your Protein, and lessening your carbs to name a few

we need to live by these rules

never killed anyone yet (i don't think) LOL

these are things that "normal" people should do too

choosing WLS (the sleeve in our case)

most people say is the best thing they have done for themselves

i totally agree with that statement

hope you gradually feel better about stuff (not depressed)

might take a while, but what else are you doing?? LOL

we're all supposed to be concentrating on ourselves!!!

we've got all the time in the world to be successful

no hurry - we'll get their in our own time

34 lbs down!!!!

party dance, party dance!!!

keep up the good work for the rest of your healthier, happier, longer life

kathy

congrats

Edited March 20, 2015 by proudgrammy

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

BLERDgirl: I posted a new topic because the newest responses to a topic end up on the bottom where few will see it. Am I wrong? Often times, when I am reading a topic, I don't continue all the way to the last page.

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

Personally I would have edited the original post and then @ replied to a few of those who made the assumption.

Everyone is different and I realize we live in the day & age of TL,DR but I always read the first post and at least skim through any thread before adding my 2 cents.

[AvaFern 3,516]

Perhaps in the future you should include a post that uses the "@" function which tags people so they can specifically see your reply. Include anyone in your post who misunderstood what you said and clarify what you meant.

On another note though, you're on an online forum- not everyone is going to be nice, so you need to develop a bit thicker skin. If you don't like what someone says, blast them back, don't make a totally separate post about how you got your feelings hurt. Most people don't care and the nice people that replied above are frequent posters who are unwaveringly kind to everyone. The people who were not nice to you are either going to read your post and call you a cry baby, or not even see it. Go into the forum where they made you mad, tag every single one of their names, and call them out on their crap.

Woman UP!

[abordenster 43]

That's lame that some of the responses were harsh. But I agree I like reading honest authentic posts with real issues we deal with every day. So keep it up. If I shop with my kids sometimes they want to go to in and out and I'll get a burger take two bites and bring the rest home to my husband. I am super happy because I don't crave it anymore. I don't really care where we eat. I really enjoy being with them. It's all good.

[Cleo's Mom 257]

Perhaps in the future you should include a post that uses the "@" function which tags people so they can specifically see your reply. Include anyone in your post who misunderstood what you said and clarify what you meant.

On another note though, you're on an online forum- not everyone is going to be nice, so you need to develop a bit thicker skin. If you don't like what someone says, blast them back, don't make a totally separate post about how you got your feelings hurt. Most people don't care and the nice people that replied above are frequent posters who are unwaveringly kind to everyone. The people who were not nice to you are either going to read your post and call you a cry baby, or not even see it. Go into the forum where they made you mad, tag every single one of their names, and call them out on their crap.

Woman UP!

Tech question - how do you do that whole @ thing with the posters name. I am not tech savvy. lol - Thanks.

As to the other part of your post. I don't see why anyone on here has the right to be judgmental or mean. Everyone on here is here for the same reason - obesity. And not one of the sleevers is a perfect post-surgery candidate. No one is going to put a tiara on their head. So give some sound advice, maybe some sympathy and be helpful. If you can't do that then don't post, IMO.

[ProjectMe 909]

I really, really appreciate the support of this sight. But, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, clarify before you jump all over someone! Words (especially the written word) can be misconstrued. I posted recently about a 4 week depression and doubting my decision. I mentioned eating a kids meal (portion!) and suddenly I am hanging out at McDonalds! Seriously?? I had a kids meal at Red Robin. It consisted of grilled chicken skewers with no sauce, and steamed/undressed broccoli (which I highly recommend if you are looking for a fun place to go with small/healthy options.) The drink was a diet lemonade, which I drank much later on the drive home. A perfectly health, reasonable choice. I was depressed because I was only able to eat about a third of it! Other restaurants have kids meals! Albeit, most consist of mac 'n cheese and hotdogs, but not all restaurants. I am trying very hard to go places with my family and not screwing up. These comments, however well meaning their intent, have really upset me, and I am seriously thinking of "checking out" of this site.

True, threads go "left " at times. But, as someone else mentioned, I prefer honesty and straightforwardness. I personally get annoyed with some of the "hand holding" or "afraid to really say..." posts because I sometimes feel that those posts can be irresponsible, depending on the topic. The good thing about boards are that you typically get a mixture of both and everything in between. You can choose which posts to ignore & which to internalize.

Overall. I feel it is important to learn from others even when I may be taken aback by the delivery and even when I disagree.

[sharonintx 1,275]

I would just get another kids meal from McDonalds and eat it while I'm reading whatever the rude comments might be.

[woo woo 872]

I'm pretty sure we have established that there was no happy meal consumed.

Carry on!

:P

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

I would just get another kids meal from McDonalds and eat it while I'm reading whatever the rude comments might be.

So your advice is to punish herself to get back at a bunch of people on the internet she never met?