Parting With My "Love" for Food

[jadama22 110]

Well I met with my nutritionist yesterday and it went great. What I loved about her was that she was very sensitive and understanding to what I am going through and what I have been through – finally! Someone that understands!

I sat with her for about an hour and she ask me many questions on why did I decided to do the surgery now and many questions on what types of diets I have been on in the past and how long ago. She shared with me that her brother just recently went through gastric bypass, so she understands on a personal level and has consulted with many bariatric patients before and after surgery. I did share with her that I am going through some emotions concerning my relationship with food. Funny thing – she ask me – what is your favorite type of food? Well I said, “I have a lot of them” thinking of this a bit, I realized that my love for food could be related to how I am feeling at the time and totally random, so one week it could be pizza, the next can be chinese or chicken quesadillas. What seems to be going through my mind the most is - how will I ever part from all of the foods that I love? Every time I put something in my mouth – I say to myself “After surgery, you won’t be having this anymore” or “You won’t be able to drink your XL coffee from Dunkin Donuts anymore with loads of sugar” I am really having a hard time parting from the thought of separating from all of the foods that I love.

While I do understand that this will be a big transition, that it will take time, It is for the benefit of a new healthier me, I am only thinking of the now….does anyone understand?

This does not change my mind at all about the surgery – having the surgery is set in stone for me, but the thought of parting from my love for food has me feeling like I am attending a funeral every day.

[JamieLogical 8,708]

One of the reasons I chose sleeve over bypass was that there would be no physical limitation to what types of food I could eat post-op. Most people don't experience any sort of dumping with sleeve, so you can technically eat anything you want eventually. That helped put my mind at ease a bit, and I didn't have as many sad thoughts and food funerals, thinking "this is the last time I'll ever eat this." However, the reality is that my relationship with food has changed DRASTICALLY post-sleeve. While I technically CAN eat all the foods I used to love, I don't derive pleasure from them the way I did before. I was always a binge eater and since I can't binge on food anymore, I don't find it as satisfying. Eating once piece of pizza doesn't satisfy me the way eating an entire pizza used to. So, I have steered away from food as my source of comfort.

It has been a difficult transition, as all my instincts tell me to reach for food to cope with my emotions. I've really had to rewire those instincts over the past few months and, while it's still not completely out of my system, it is a LOT better than it used to be. And at 6 months out, there are a lot of foods I used to love that I haven't attempted to eat post-op and I really have no intention or desire to try them. Knowing I *could* if I really wanted to is still a source of comfort to me though.

[AvaFern 3,516]

I did the same thing that you're doing before surgery. Eating everything that I thought I would never be able to have again! Jamie makes a good point though in that technically you should still be able to have everything again after you are recovered from surgery. The sleeve only limits how much you can eat and drink, so you can have the small sugar laden coffee and a few bites of pizza and still enjoy them just not to the capacity that you used to. For example, I've always liked the vanilla bean frappucino at Starbuck's but now I get it with skim milk, I order the tall instead, and I don't usually drink all of it. I'm mostly happy just having the taste as opposed to the volume. I can though appreciate that your relationship with food changes. I can't bury myself in a nice big dinner in front of my tv anymore and I can't mindlessly eat anymore because I get sick pretty quickly. Everytime I feel frustrated by this I look in the mirror and I think well, do you want to be thin or do you want to be able to eat a lot of food? Being thin always wins out in the end.

[MrsSugarbabe 727]

@@JamieLogical and @@AvaFern have made some good points above which I agree with.

@@jadama22, glad to hear you have a great nutritionist as she will be a huge help along the road of your journey. Hopefully, you will find, as I have, that you can still enjoy your favorite foods, just in MUCH smaller portions, but also that you won't necessarily want the same things as you did pre-surgery. Once I transitioned to regular foods and began reintroducing some favorites (no necessarily unhealthy), I found my new tummy to be very tolerate of what I ate as long as I took VERY SMALL BITES, ate VERY SLOWLY, and CHEWED THE food until it was "puree" consistency in my mouth. Since post-surgery we're instructed to EAT Protein FIRST, I'm finding I'm not interested in the carb heavy foods anymore. If I do get a "taste" for something that's not high Protein, then a bite or two is sufficient to satisfy my "taste" for it.

Just remember - even though weight loss is a huge result of sleeve surgery, I believe the most important reason we do/did this is for our health, to improve our conditions such as diabetes, high blood pressure, non-alcoholic fatty liver, etc.

You'll find your way post-surgery with the help of your surgeon, nutritionist, and all the great folks on BP. Good luck on your journey!!!

[Laureadolce 44]

The psychologists who taught our 6 preop behavior classes called this 'Last Supper Syndrome'. I am coming up on surgery (4/1) and found myself morning some kettle chips the other day, like I was putting down a beloved pet. Then I put my hand on my least favorite body part and remembered what I hope to accomplish. I still mourned the chips, but I won't mourn the hips when they slim down.

[bikrchk 1,313]

The food funeral thing is something most of us go through, I think, myself included. Funny thing is, I've found it was totally unnecessary as I can eat what I like now, just how I like it prepared, but as long as I never over eat, I can maintain my 95ish pound loss. I have to watch sugar a bit. Once large bakery cookie is okay, more than one over the course of the day, probably going to retaliate. I'm grateful for that actually as it allows me treats in moderation but there is a strong deterrent to sugar binge.

[Califlower83 33]

@@jadama22 Thank you for posting this, I am at the very beginning of the process and my mind wonders about this all the time! I was wondering if after surgery I would have to skip bbq's cause I wouldn't be able to eat ribs! It's great knowing so many of you were able to still have some of the things you used to, it makes me feel like I don't have to feel so panicked and I can stop having "food funerals". I know I'm going to have to change my relationship with food but knowing that I won't soon be eating my last piece of bacon soon is a relief!

Edited March 17, 2015 by Califlower83

[VSGmary 418]

@@jadama22 the thing is, that you may find yourself without the desire to eat those foods again. Temptation is around me all the time, however i have no desire for it. My sleeve doesn't like it and it tells me almost immediately that whatever crap i put in my mouth is coming straight out - easiest telltale signs ever!! I love love love my sleeve!

Wish you all the best on your weight loss journey xox

[JamieLogical 8,708]

@@jadama22 Thank you for posting this, I am at the very beginning of the process and my mind wonders about this all the time! I was wondering if after surgery I would have to skip bbq's cause I wouldn't be able to eat ribs! It's great knowing so many of you were able to still have some of the things you used to, it makes me feel like I don't have to feel so panicked and I can stop having "food funerals". I know I'm going to have to change my relationship with food but knowing that I won't soon be eating my last piece of bacon soon is a relief!

Hey, ribs and bacon are MEAT! You will definitely still be eating those in your future! It's all about the Protein post-sleeve.

[jadama22 110]

Thank you guys - you all gave some great feedback. I am glad to see I am not alone and sometimes that is part of the hardest thing when you are making such a journey and why support groups and forums such as this one is very important. I think that I will be attending a pre-op support group, but I think this will consist of bariatric patients that have already went through surgery. I guess most of my coaching I will be getting from my nutritionist in preparation. I did hear that your taste for certain foods you love may change and may not be as strong or it may change altogether. I guess you really can't imagine it until you cross the bridge and you finally get there.

[Cleo's Mom 257]

Well I met with my nutritionist yesterday and it went great. What I loved about her was that she was very sensitive and understanding to what I am going through and what I have been through – finally! Someone that understands!

I sat with her for about an hour and she ask me many questions on why did I decided to do the surgery now and many questions on what types of diets I have been on in the past and how long ago. She shared with me that her brother just recently went through gastric bypass, so she understands on a personal level and has consulted with many bariatric patients before and after surgery. I did share with her that I am going through some emotions concerning my relationship with food. Funny thing – she ask me – what is your favorite type of food? Well I said, “I have a lot of them” thinking of this a bit, I realized that my love for food could be related to how I am feeling at the time and totally random, so one week it could be pizza, the next can be chinese or chicken quesadillas. What seems to be going through my mind the most is - how will I ever part from all of the foods that I love? Every time I put something in my mouth – I say to myself “After surgery, you won’t be having this anymore” or “You won’t be able to drink your XL coffee from Dunkin Donuts anymore with loads of sugar” I am really having a hard time parting from the thought of separating from all of the foods that I love.

While I do understand that this will be a big transition, that it will take time, It is for the benefit of a new healthier me, I am only thinking of the now….does anyone understand?

This does not change my mind at all about the surgery – having the surgery is set in stone for me, but the thought of parting from my love for food has me feeling like I am attending a funeral every day.

I am glad you found a good nutritionist and are looking forward to your surgery. Best of luck to you. However, don't assume that your result will be like those who posted that they can eat pretty much anything but just much less. Check out other posts and you will see the great variations about what those who have had the sleeve can and can't eat. The results are very individual. Make no assumptions.

[jordantaylor 51]

I am totally going through this right now! I feel like I'm mourning the loss of a coping mechanism that got me through a lot of really hard times. Because in reality, it did-but it also caused a lot of health problems and doesn't fit in with the happier, healthier life I live now. Making the decision to choose new coping strategies is one of the scariest decisions I've ever had to make, but I also have to remember that I'm in a better place in my life now than I was when food was the only way I knew how to get through tough times. On top of this, I quit smoking a few weeks ago, so needless to say I'm spending lots of time and energy "mourning" right now. There are nights where I literally sit on the couch for 20 minutes at a time just making myself ride the waves of emotions that are coming up for me pre-surgery. Thankfully, I'm able to do this without making it worse by binge eating!

@@JamieLogical, you make an awesome point about re-wiring your brain to reach for different strategies of coping. We are all capable of this re-wiring with some hard work and determination.

Hang in there, @Jadama22. I'm right there with you, and it will all be ok! Keep up the good work.

[MrsSugarbabe 727]

@@Califlower83 - Good luck to you on your sleeve journey!!! Hopefully after your surgery and when you're able to start eating regular foods you will be able to eat BBQ again, but in a MUCH smaller portion. I recently had smoked BBQ ribs for the first time (I'm 4 mos. post-op). Initially, I did not have a tummy problem because I stopped after eating what is now my normal portion size - 1/2 cup or 2-3 ozs. total depending on the food. It was 2 hours later when I ate some more of the ribs. I still did not eat a lot, but it was still too much for my new tummy and I felt miserable for 30+ mins. The food created a lot of gas which I was belching constantly. After about 20 mins. I was able to chew a couple of Tums which helped immensely. I attributed all the discomfort to eating too much in too short a time, but a friend told me that SMOKED foods can make GERD a whole lot worse for some folks. For me, it may have been a combination of the two. I don't suffer from GERD constantly so that's why I think the discomfort/gas may have been more related to volume. I do eat one piece of bacon with an egg sometimes and it doesn't bother me at all.

All this said, take your time when returning to regular foods and, whatever you do, DON'T OVERDO IT. The price you pay is not worth it!

@@jadama22 Thank you for posting this, I am at the very beginning of the process and my mind wonders about this all the time! I was wondering if after surgery I would have to skip bbq's cause I wouldn't be able to eat ribs! It's great knowing so many of you were able to still have some of the things you used to, it makes me feel like I don't have to feel so panicked and I can stop having "food funerals". I know I'm going to have to change my relationship with food but knowing that I won't soon be eating my last piece of bacon soon is a relief!

[Califlower83 33]

@@MrsSugarbabe Thanks for sharing! I guess I was thinking more along the lines of having to avoid social situations where food is involved like when I was trying different diets. I've done HCG and would have to pack my own food everywhere I went, so I'm at my nieces birthday party eating 4 oz of chicken from a tupperware in the corner! As much as that sucked I was willing to do it if I could reach my goals, but It wasn't an ideal way of life. I am glad the sleeve allows us to still enjoy some of the things that we loved before, as much as I need to get the weight of I don't want to totally give up any social life and normalcy that I'm used to forever. I will take your advice in a rib situation since I'm hoping to get sleeved this summer and there will be plenty of BBQ's!

[alwaysvegas 702]

What took some time for my head to get used to was the feeling of being physically full on just a few ounces. At first, I felt some disappointment that I could eat so little, but then I truly began to enjoy the small portions of food much more than I ever enjoyed larger portions.

It's impossible to explain the feeling, but getting full on one rib is just as rewarding mentally as getting full on a rack of ribs. Eating slower, chewing, and enjoying the taste is a huge part of the enjoyment. My head hunger sometimes tells me more, more, more...but when I close my eyes and feel that my sleeve is full...it's a great feeling! And without the guilt!

So far I've had no problems with any food I've tried. I avoid junk food for the most part, including most carbs. But I've had a piece of fried chicken, a slice of cake, some chips, and so on. I needed to learn moderation before surgery and that hasn't changed, but the sleeve sure helps with Portion Control.< /p>

However, it's also relatively easy to eat a meal (4-5oz) every 45 minutes or so. So if I chose to eat every 45 minutes, I could. I knew that going into surgery also. And there are people who fall back into their head hunger and eat the slider foods as often as possible. Weight comes back on.

It was about making choices before the sleeve and it's still about making choices after the sleeve.

I considered a food funeral, but decided it was silly and self-defeating because I'd be ruining a healthy lifestyle I'd already started. I also knew I'd likely have all foods at my disposal post-op and I'd learn to enjoy them in moderation. No funeral required. But to each their own.

Edited March 18, 2015 by AlwaysVegas