Have I failed if my fat apron won't go away?

[LumpySpacePrincess 594]

16 months post-op, sitting around 156 most days. The part that bothers me the most is my fat apron. Though I do know its shrunk from when I was at my heaviest, it is still very prominent. I know its not all skin, the majority of it is still pure fat (confirmed by a plastic surgeon).

I feel like I've failed because its still there. I can't fit into a lot of clothes correctly, I always have to wear long shirts to cover it or people stare and make nasty faces at me when my shirt rides up.

Does it ever go away?? Have I been doing something wrong to make it stick around?

[JamieLogical 8,708]

It probably will not go away on its own. That subcutaneous fat is impossible to "target", so unless you can get your entire body fat percentage significantly lower, it will hang on there forever. Do you know what your current body fat percentage is? You don't want to get dangerously low. Surgery is probably the only way you are going to really get rid of it. Even if you do get rid of some more of the fat, the skin will remain a problem.

[WL WARRIOR 692]

All I can say is that I relate. I was too ashamed of my body when I started gaining weight eight years ago to start dating again. Even after losing 110 pounds, I still can't find the courage to date because my abdomen and boobs are so deflated. I had this surgery to get healthy, but kind of assumed confidence would go along with it. Maybe it will get a little better with strength training and more weight loss, but I have to accept that my body will never look like it did eight years ago. Now I'm wondering if I will also have to be single the rest of my life. Sorry for the pity party. I know there should be more important things that I should focus on.

[JamieLogical 8,708]

@@WL WARRIOR Is plastic surgery not on your radar at all? I had plastics after losing 90 pounds back in 2011 and it did wonders for my body image. I went on to regain most of the weight I'd lost, thus my need for VSG, but that's a whole other story. I would still very much recommend plastics for people post weight-loss, as it is a wonderful thing to do for yourself. Luckily, my Tummy Tuck has held up extremely well through my weight regain, and now that I am losing the weight again post-sleeve, I even have definition in my abs! Will be posting some new progress pics next week to show them off.

[LumpySpacePrincess 594]

I wish I could afford plastic surgery. Its not likely, at least not until I'm out of graduate school and have my LPC so I can practice. So probably about a good 6 or 7 years away. Not sure I can live with it for that long without getting majorly depressed.

[WL WARRIOR 692]

Same here as well. There is no way I can afford it. I am a single mom on a teacher's salary. I only have two more classes left to finish my master's degree, but have been putting it off because I can't even afford to do that. Let alone the lenders barking down my back to pay up on my undergraduate school loan.

I've read that only 10% of post op bariatric patients undergo plastic surgery. This could be due to lack of funding, resources, or even not wanting to do it.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I thought I had a fat apron too... turns out it was a skin apron. If you can't/don't want to do plastics you need to accept it as part of the new you. It might shrink some up over time, but franky excess skin does not disappear by lifting weights, doinb body wraps or anything. It is stretched out skin but it is so much healthier AND attractive than obesity. Never forget how much you have accomplished! We are so dang self critical - I bet you look great in spite of this.

I found that strategic Shapewear really helped! Not too tight or you muffin top out, but just right and that extra skin gives you a fake "va-voom" factor in the hips.

I did get plastics, but, I coulda lived with the skin... much better than the fat.

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

You have not failed. That may be your natural body shape.

[JamieLogical 8,708]

For sure, if plastic surgery isn't an option in the near future, then Shapewear is a great alternative. It will help keep things tight and tucked in under most clothing, so that no one will even notice your loose skin. Hopefully, you will someday be able to afford plastics, though. I borrowed against my retirement for mine and went to Mexico to save money. Still working on paying it off, but it was SO worth it!

[WL WARRIOR 692]

I do actually have quite a lot of money in my retirement account. The only issue with that is the fact that they reduce your total amount available if you try to take out funds before retirement age. For example, if I had $50,000 in retirement funds and wanted to withdraw $15,000 for plastic surgery, then I have to pay a $5,000 penalty. I know, it doesn't make sense.

I just turned 38, which is no where near 63 (retirement age). But I hate to imagine what I will look like at 63 with even more loose skin on top of this. Using retirement funds is a good idea, but I need to ponder more if it is worth it. I don't need shape wear because my deflated tummy and boobs are not noticeable with clothes on. My abdomen skin does not hang very low, it is just wrinkled. My abdomen stretch marks, although white and faded, only worsen this deflated look. If I took a picture of my boobs (don't worry I won't) and sent them to you; I guarantee you would grimace and say, "Ewwww...that's not natural."

I'm going to try to get down to 140, do some abdomen strength training, and then seriously consider using my retirement funding if there is no other way.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Girl.

You have lost over half your body weight.

You have taken yourself from being MORBIDLY OBESE to a normal BMI. Not only are you in a healthy weight range, but you have wiggle room.

You saved your own life by having this surgery and losing MORE than the average WLS patient.

You BEAT the odds by a whole heckuva lot!

If you are a failure, then I am a freaking train wreck and I am no train wreck! Be proud of your accomplishment and consult another surgeon. I think your misspoke, personally.

You are a rockstar in my book!

[JamieLogical 8,708]

I do actually have quite a lot of money in my retirement account. The only issue with that is the fact that they reduce your total amount available if you try to take out funds before retirement age. For example, if I had $50,000 in retirement funds and wanted to withdraw $15,000 for plastic surgery, then I have to pay a $5,000 penalty. I know, it doesn't make sense.

I just turned 38, which is no where near 63 (retirement age). But I hate to imagine what I will look like at 63 with even more loose skin on top of this. Using retirement funds is a good idea, but I need to ponder more if it is worth it. I don't need shape wear because my deflated tummy and boobs are not noticeable with clothes on. My abdomen skin does not hang very low, it is just wrinkled. My abdomen stretch marks, although white and faded, only worsen this deflated look. If I took a picture of my boobs (don't worry I won't) and sent them to you; I guarantee you would grimace and say, "Ewwww...that's not natural."

I'm going to try to get down to 140, do some abdomen strength training, and then seriously consider using my retirement funding if there is no other way.

I didn't withdraw any money from my retirement, I borrowed against it. My retirement is through TIAA-CREF and they have a lending program where you can borrow up to 50% of your total balance and you're essentially paying back yourself with interest. So, instead of that money sitting in your main "pot" and earning returns like your retirement normally does, that money gets moved to a special separate account that you pay back into and the "return" on investment you get is just the interest rate on the loan. Ugh, I hope that makes some sort of sense. Anyway, I didn't have to pay any fees for early withdrawal or any taxes, because I took out a loan, not the actual money.

Edited March 16, 2015 by JamieLogical

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Jamie beat me to it ... you can BORROW from your retirement account. You don't have to "withdraw" it. Used to buy all my cars that way. I knew I was a great investment and would repay my loans from my 401k.

[hadouni 301]

I understand how you feel. I had a flap of saggy, broken skin that wasn't going anywhere. It was full of stretch marks and really bothered me. My flap went all the way out to my sides when I was sitting and that's where they started cutting on me.

My advice - make sure you talk to a plastic surgeon who regularly works with insurance patients and instead of going in for a Tummy Tuck consultation and go in saying you want a panniculectomy. That way they think of you as an insurance patient from the get-go. I happened upon my plastic surgeon when I went with a friend to her mastectomy reconstruction appointment. It took me forever to get into him but it was worth the wait and the cost given the results I've seen.

I had a panniculectomy with a belly button fix in late December and it was life changing. The belly button fix is considered cosmetic so I paid for that myself. My out of pocket ended up being about $2000. They have medical credit lines to help out if you need financing.

Self esteem is priceless. =)

Good luck to you!!

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

And you could try saving up funds

..but I think plastics are a nice to have. I would not have used retirement funds for it, I put off remodeling my house and used that money..