Still Attend Support Group Meetings as a Vet?

[Andrew0929 1,101]

I'm 15 months out and have continued attending my WLS support group meetings every month or so. Our meetings typically include 150+ people.

After all this time, it seems like I'm hearing the same stuff over and over. It was very helpful pre-surgery and for the first 6 months post-op, but I think I'm ready to stop attending.

Anyone else still attend the meetings as a Vet?

[BethinPA 305]

I stopped a long time ago, my surgeon's meetings were never that great to begin with. I also found that there were certain people who just really needed attention, and tended to monopolize the time. They just weren't managed well, so I stopped going.

[Andrew0929 1,101]

I stopped a long time ago, my surgeon's meetings were never that great to begin with. I also found that there were certain people who just really needed attention, and tended to monopolize the time. They just weren't managed well, so I stopped going.

That's exactly what I've experienced. A small group of vets attend every meeting and love to lecture the rest of us.

I've gotten much more real support from this forum ...

[BeagleLover 1,020]

I'm around 5 1/2 months out. I enjoy going--- seeing other people's progress. It also reminds me to keep my focus on watching what I eat.

[erp 2,016]

I still attend when I have time. I think it is a good way to pay it forward much like responding to newbie questions here. I remember feeling so curious and mystified as a pre-op at post-op results. Not believing that could ever be me. I want to show people what is possible, what success looks like, and that the 60% average effective weight loss is only your outcome if you choose for it to be.

[Andrew0929 1,101]

I still attend when I have time. I think it is a good way to pay it forward much like responding to newbie questions here. I remember feeling so curious and mystified as a pre-op at post-op results. Not believing that could ever be me. I want to show people what is possible, what success looks like, and that the 60% average effective weight loss is only your outcome if you choose for it to be.

Good point about "paying it forward". Our meetings begin with all attendees together and of course the majority of people are newbies. They are usually blown away when I tell them how much I've lost and they always have lots of questions and ask for pictures.

I do remember being in their position and how helpful it was to hear from others that had actually gone through this. Maybe I'll volunteer as a speaker, at some point, but still questioning regular monthly attendance.

[CrazyCatLady 130]

I had just discussed this topic with fellow vets. All of us are at least 2 years out, and finding that we need a support system, but not finding the surgeon's groups helpful (as mentioned before, often seems to be a handful of folks with the same issues, etc).

I would love to start a group for postops who are beyond that 18month honeymoon period, but not sure how to go about making it a helpful group as opposed to more of the same .

[swimbikerun 1,045]

That's what I see. You have a vet or two, but otherwise, its a newby thing. There is no true support outside of online forums, that are really useful after a year. Not being disrespectful but, heaven forbid they show the true meaning of people more than a year out. Some people would be thrown off, and maybe they should be.

[Healthy_life2 8,324]

My local support group is geared toward people in weight loss mode. The information presented seems to be repeat. I have met some vet's and they are great support. They do not attend regularly and quite a few have dropped out completely.

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

I never went regularly. I just pop in occasionally. I think it's a nice sort of tune up and it's also encouraging to newbies.

[MichiganChic 3,262]

I'm 15 months out and have continued attending my WLS support group meetings every month or so. Our meetings typically include 150+ people.

After all this time, it seems like I'm hearing the same stuff over and over. It was very helpful pre-surgery and for the first 6 months post-op, but I think I'm ready to stop attending.

Anyone else still attend the meetings as a Vet?

I have found the same thing. I go at 2 1/2 years out be because I want to do everything I can to ensure my success. I think (conceptually) that weight loss support groups should help me stay connected and focused. However, I just told my doc and the dietician who runs the group that we need something different for long term patients. It's totally a bust when the couple of voices who are new/overly enthusiastic/self-absorbed take over the meeting. Some people just think now they finally "get it" and by them telling everyone else, they will get it, too.

So, I'm thinking that I'd also like to stop, but I need all the help I can get. I'm going to try to get them to do something different, but if not, I'm not sure what I'll do.

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

@@MichiganChic - I'm only 6 mths in, but I also view the support groups as a sort of pay it forward. I remember in my pre-op stage I liked hearing from Vets. I also think since I took a somewhat unusual approach to bariatric diets because of being a vegetarian with food allergies that It may be helpful to any other people on vegetarian diets to know that it can be done. meat eaters don't realize it but listening people talk sometimes all your hear is "meat, meat, meat." If you don't know any better this can be discouraging. I just happen to be the heard headed person who never takes "No" for an answer.

[LivingFree! 478]

At 4 years out, I have regularly attended my support groups through my health care provider (4times/month) since surgery. I believe it has been a key factor in my success. However, at about 2-1/2 to 3 years out, the balance between "giving back" and self-benefit shifted considerably to much more "giving back" than receiving the support I need. I'm wondering if most vets who are more than about 2-1/2 years out would agree that our issues often become a lot different than those first two years or so. It would be interesting to know if anyone's health care providers have support groups SPECIFICALLY for those of us who are more than 2 or 3 years post-op? My guess would be NO.

I am struggling with mostly "mental" stuff that I never imagined I'd be dealing with as a result of WLS, especially this long after surgery. (Been toying with writing a thread about this, but still deciding. Interestingly, it does not center around food/weight control issues. I worked insanely hard to change my eating habits that first year, so I have been able to control my cravings, junk carbs, grazing, etc so I haven't gained weight, but I also know how vulnerable I am to that possibility right now.)

To the OP, it would be hard in a group of 150+ people. Our groups are usually 20-25 max, and led by a mental health professional.

I have stayed connected to the support groups most recently if for nothing else than for the benefit of the wisdom of the responses from the M.H. professional, and of course for the up-to-date bariatric information that is announced from time to time in the groups.

MichiganChic, your post is so well stated, and I hope your concerns are heard by your medical team! I do feel too that I need all the help I can get, and having that accountability is BIG for me.

No matter how "not ideal" our support groups are, they still make us "physically" put ourselves in a WLS setting so we can refocus on remembering that we have a lifelong JOB to do! Lately I have to force myself to find just ONE THING that I can walk away from the group that day that made it a positive experience, but I DO FIND AT LEAST THAT ONE THING!

[Bufflehead 6,358]

I stopped going a while back, but plan to go for my 2 year surgiversary in June and then maybe every 6 months after. I love my surgeon and the people in his practice but I think the support groups are kind of a mess. They do tend to get taken over by the newbies who are so overwhelmed by everything that they need to tell you their life story, how hard obesity has been for them, and end up crying over how awful their life is, or how grateful they are to get surgery, etc. I know I sound like a stone cold b*tch right now, and maybe I am, but I was spending an awful lot of time rolling my eyes.* Plus when I attended as a vet I got a lot of people demanding to know exactly how much weight I lost and how fast I lost it, which are not numbers I care to share for a number of reasons, so that got awkward.

Finally, and I know I shouldn't let this bother me, but the last two times I went, I had people ask me (before the formal intro's) "have you had surgery yet?" and "what kind of surgery are you going to have?" and it made me sad and angry. I thought I was doing great, was happy in my size 10 clothes and hovering just 7 lbs over a normal BMI, but people still saw me as grossly obese and in need of weight loss surgery. It really got me down so that was another reason I stopped going. So to any newbies lurking on the vets' forum: never assume anyone is pre-op! Wait for them to tell you so.

*eta: another problem is that there always seemed to be at least one person with a crazy conspiracy theory ("the government is poisoning our Water with fluoride!") or need to make a political diatribe ("Obama is the reason I'm fat! Thanks Obama!") and the moderators never even tried to get the conversation back on course. So that was another cause of my eye-rolling.

Edited March 22, 2015 by Bufflehead

[MichiganChic 3,262]

@@Bufflehead LOL. There is just NO way you look like you need WLS in a size 10. That's just absurd! They might just not realize that people could have already had surgery. Ignore them. You are a success.

@@BLERDgirl there is something to be said for paying it forward. I think there are other ways to do that, such as speaking at the informational seminars. I have been doing this for over 2 years, so I think it might be time for a little self preservation You know, like on the plane, they tell you to put your own oxygen on before helping someone else. There is so much difference between 6 months out and 2 and half years out. The issues are just different.

@LivingFree! that's such a good idea to make sure you take away something positive. And even when people run away with the meetings, I still think that going there and "showing up" does help in some way.