I can't do this anymore

[Butterfly07 0]

I just got back from a surprise all expenses paid, 3 day mini-vacation with on old (female) friend. She was going to Vegas and invited me along, and I had a WONDERFUL time.

I was a total bum, relaxed for 2 days by the pool (forgot sunscreen so got very burned - ugh), read, slept, swam, and for the first time for almost a year was able to really relax and let go. I don't gamble, so didn't lose any money because I didn't hit any gaming at all.

Of course on the way home reality hit hard and fast, my Grandmother got the "official" breast cancer diagnosis and of course my father and sister (only living relatives pretty much) are no help, so the burden is all on me of course.

I had loaned my son my car while I was gone, and he seemed to appreciate it. He and a group of his friends are going on a road trip next weekend and I said they could borrow my car (the few of them who have cars are too small or run down to make the trip). They will pay for me to have a rental, since they are all 18 or 19 they can't rent one.

That seems to have gone a long way with him. Not that I am trying to buy him off, but he said the fact that I would trust him enough to do this said a lot, as well as the fact that I volunteered to do it.

I saw my boyfriend this morning, and we have plans to try and get together on monday night. He makes my heart sing.

I also went out last week and found a summer job at the local mall, I will work FT starting next week during the summer and evenings and weekends when I go back to my regular job.

I feel positive that I'm trying to move ahead and figure out just who this new me is and what her life should be. I know there will be more ups and downs, but with you all and my local friends for support, maybe I can do this after all.

You have been so helpful, thanks to my "band of buddies" for helping me. I always welcome words of wisdom or anything you have to say.