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I go in to the doc Monday to do preop and get my preop liquid diet food. Surgery is March 30th. I am scared, ashamed, excited and worried all at the same time. For 6 months I have known without doubt this is what I want and need. Now I am questioning myself for the first time. I am going to read through the board for support but this is the single most monumental change ever in my life and I have had some big changes in my life.

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I get all your feelings but the ashamed part. While you have a few days, research the disease obesity. How can we be ashamed of having a disease? I certainly wasn't ashamed when I was diagnosed with cancer...

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The shame is external, not internal. It's the way people make me feel about being fat. Even my family is shaming me for "not having the strength to do it on my own".

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How awful. Family is supposed to support not tear down. Your family obviously lacks understanding for you but also for this disease. It's your choice whether Its worth educating them. But many people truly have no idea that obesity is an actual disease. Even people who have had WLS. And it is incredibly sad to feel ashamed or guilty for something that goes way beyond and is more complex than simple willpower.

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Good for you. Jeez, its tough enough to be overweight and working on a change without having family be unsupportive. I congratulate you on taking the steps to get healthy in spite of them. Perhaps when they see its no picnic, and how great your health becomes after, they'll do a 180. In the meantime, get support here from informed, knowledgeable people who get it.

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I was in a pre surgery class run by Kaiser and I surprised by the number of women that felt they had little or no support from their families. The reverse was true of the men. All of us had major health issues and had the full support of our families. While I have some pretty major health issues I sure do look forward to looking good again! BTW, I have excellent support from my wife and children. My daughter has even encouraged me to miss her college graduation if a surgery date comes up first.

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    • Bashbee91

      Hey guys new to the process looking forward to this new life. 
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    • Bugg

      Hi everyone! I’m brand new here. I just went through all my pre-op requirements per my insurance company and now everything has been submitted and I’m just waiting for final approval and my surgery date. I’ve been doing research, watching YouTube videos, TikTok’s, ect.. trying to prepare my mind and what to expect so I’ll be ready for the surgery. I was so sure and so set and so ready and excited. However, now that I’ve done everything & it’s almost here, I am sooooooo scared! I know why I want it bc I’ve tried everything and I just don’t feel like I can lose weight by myself. I’m tired of being overweight my entire life. I’m miserable, but I keep psyching myself out afraid of GERD bc I know how that can be and I don’t want to have to get a bypass after already gaining the courage to even get VSG. I’m scared of complications like I’mgoing to regret doing it and be depressed that I didn’t just be more disciplined and try again to lose the weight on my own even sitting here typing this knowing in my mind i just can’t and don’t possess the discipline. I’m also afraid I won’t be able to handle the restrictions of the sleeve. What do I eat? I don’t know how to eat healthy really and don’t enjoy healthy food. I don’t know how to do this! I feel so defeated!Someone tell me they felt anything similar to this or am I not ready? I thought I was. I am so tired of being sick and tired and so tired of myself and so tired of being stuck and stuck in this body and somebody different on the outside from what I feel inside. I just want to ball up and cry.
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    • buildabetteranna

      over 20 lbs down since4 the pre surgery diet and surgery on the 14th
      · 1 reply
      1. Selina333

        Yay!! Congrats. I know how good that feels. 🤩

    • Jenopolis

      Had a sleeve in 2017, lost over 100 pounds. Had a DS surgery this year (2025) for more sustainable weight loss. 🤞
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    • buildabetteranna

      The 14th was my day. I am home and recovery is going pretty smooth. They even let me walk out of the hospital. Picture of me in recovery curtesy of my boyfriend lol. 

      · 3 replies
      1. DaisyChainOz

        Glad it went well!! Wishing you a speedy recovery and wonderful success!! 🤗

      2. buildabetteranna

        Thank you ❤️

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        Neat you have a pic of this day! I was sooo happy to get my surgery. It was well worth it! And I'm not even near my goal. I had surgery Dec. 2!

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