Trouble Deciding if I should go through with it....scared

[stillcantdecide 1]

I'm contemplating this surgery, my doctor backs me and will put me on the waitlist... I am overweight, 5'0 feet 215 lbs but I have never had any complications other than sore feet and low self esteem. I'm scared to go through with this and get one or many of the complications and side effects I am reading about.

I'm scared of something going wrong, and feel like it's just so drastic and final a decision....I often wonder what it's like down the road 10, 20 30 years.... I guess because I'm not suffering from alot of the negative health effects that go with being over weight I'm having a hard time deciding what to do. I mean it would be a no brainer if I had high blood pressure, diabetes, heart issues etc...

I also can't help but think so many people loose weight without surgery, maybe if I tried 1 more time, 1 more diet, 1 more trainer I could do it.

On the flip side to all these fears and worries, I think about how nice it would be to feel good about the way I look, to have confidence, to not feel like everyone is judging the fat girl. To go to the store and buy any clothes I want, to go for a jog and not have crippling foot pain, to ride my horse again and actually compete in horse shows like I did in my younger, thinner days...

Did anyone else experience worry, nerves, doubts or these type of feelings? How did you choose and get a handle on the in-decision?

Does anyone regret the decision to have surgery?

Thanks, I find this is all I think about, the waitlist to have the surgery is at least 2 years long where I am so I have alot of time to think (but this also means alot of time to flip flop and go back and forth)

[James Marusek 5,244]

I had a RNY gastric bypass 22 months ago and would do it again in a heartbeat.

[KarenLoh 128]

I am also on the road but don't have approval yet or a surgeon or anything. I've been told I have to prove I can stick to a food plan for 12 weeks before they will pass me on to the next stage. But I don't stick to a food plan and I wonder if it is because I want to sabotage this thing. I am 408 pounds and if I gain any more I can't continue to do my work and earn my living. I HAVE to do something and don't have any confidence in my ability to do a regular diet over again. I have lost all of my weight three times in my life and gained it back with interest so...

I feel like this is my only choice to lose weight but I don't want to do it. reading about other peoples' journeys here is motivating me though. I just need those 12 weeks under my belt.

[Daisee68 2,493]

I wonder the same thing every single day several times a day. I keep telling myself though that I can change my mind right up to the point they put me under. Our wait is only 3 to 6 months though not 2 years. If I were you I would put my name on the list and then try the other things too. Hey, if the 1 more diet / 1 more trainer works, then you don't have to go through with it. (Assuming it is not something you have to pay for to get on the list.) One thing that has been super helpful for me so far as I go through the pre-op process is counseling, and honestly several times a day I think "maybe with her help, I can do this without surgery". In fact, I have an apt with her tomorrow and was already going to ask her what she thought. Sigh.... You know what I think she will tell me? "It is possible but at this weight you need something drastic and in typical addict fashion, you are lying to yourself again. " Who knows. Maybe she won't. I'll let you know what she says...

[stillcantdecide 1]

Daisee, I guess when I hear you say "in true addict fashion" I wonder if you are really an addict will the surgery change that?

Aren't you still an addict after the surgery? I need to ask myself this too... the surgery wont change that I like sugar or that I over eat etc...

Edited March 13, 2015 by stillcantdecide

[Daisee68 2,493]

Perhaps addict isn't a fair description for everyone but for me it is. First thing my counselor said is that I will always be a recovering food addict just as a alcoholic is in recovery the rest of their lives even when they stop drinking. And so yes, the surgery doesn't stop you from being an addict and I think that's the whole point. I didn't get to 326 pounds because I was eating like an "average" person. So if I don't deal with the addictive behaviors upfront then the surgery, for me anyway, is nothing more than a quickie diet. I may lose the weight but I will eventually gain it back if I fall into old patterns. Learning the surgery is only a tool to aid in the weight loss and not a "cure" for obesity has been key for me. And my counselor has been great. We aren't necessarily spending the hour bemoaning a bad childhood, etc. We are just figuring out why I turn to food and then she brings every single thing I say back to the food and my control issues (or perhaps lack thereof).

[burtonbn 19]

YES! I am struggling with this now currently. I'm scared of the finality of it all. And what if I end up worse off than I started? I'm also not currently dealing with any comorbidities- but I know that WLS will make me healthier in the long run. I have my consultation appointment in two weeks. I think I'll be able to make a better decision after I've heard from the doctor.

I'm trying to remind myself that there's no use getting worked up about something that I haven't even been approved for yet.

Keep us updated on your decision!

[drmeow 323]

@@Daisee68, I couldn't agree more. I've only been looking into WLS for about 4 months but I've been in counseling for almost 2 years to get to the bottom of my eating issues. (and yes, some of it does go back to childhood issues!) Along the way I've gained the courage to finally separate from my husband, which I should have done long ago but forced down my anger and abandonment feelings with food. It's taken quite awhile but I can finally say that when I get stressed or angry now, I don't even think of grabbing sugar, which used to be my automatic response. I still haven't lost my sweet tooth, but I'm not using it for emotions now. So now I'm working on habits (snacking, grazing) while waiting to get approved for surgery, but I'm so glad I've done the mental work ahead of time. My family has a history of alcoholism and I was scared I'd move from food to alcohol after surgery but I think the work I'm doing now will prevent that if I'm careful.

[MSWMike 22]

I think there are a lot more people in this boat than just the people who have participated in this thread. I think we all have the fear of falling off the wagon and going back to old habits. As @@drmeow mentioned, she is in therapy to help figure out her food issues. I have been doing the same and it's amazing what I have learned about myself, the sources of why I overeat, and the realization that I'm a resilient and determined guy. This has mentally prepared me for going on this journey. I recommend that others do this as well. I was skeptical at first, but it's been a good experience for me.

I'm 5'10" and 445 lbs. I've somehow managed not to develop any comorbidities. I know eventually my luck will run out and things will get more complicated for me as I age (I'm 35). I've tried several diets in the past, but they all failed me. I don't think it was because of the diets themselves that failed, it was me. It's hard to describe, but my mind and body weren't on the same page.

Now, after several years, I feel like that my mind and body are on the same page more than ever. Sure I still have concerns and worries- but I'm developing a support system for myself with family, friends, you all on this site, and others who I know have had the surgery to help support me and be there for me. We can all be there for one another and help each other through tough times.