Debbieduck4 399 Posted March 6, 2015 I've learned to not really care.... At first to be honest I was very concerned about what others would think or say about me having surgery but then when I started losing the weight and feeling so much better, I got more confident I guess. I just realized this isn't about them... It's about me, and God, and that is it. What I have found that works perfectly is to beat them to the punch by announcing that fact first... I say something like "When I first had this done I was worried that people would think I was taking the easy way out, but it is sooo not easy, ...and now I really don't care what anyone thinks anyways because I feel so much better!" That usually entices people to keep their nasty lil opinions to themselves. (They probably talk behind my back, but again I don't care) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Recycled 2,182 Posted March 6, 2015 It reminds me of that thing people are always saying......"I know how you feel".......no they don't....they just say it. And I find that typically the ones making comments about how easy or unnecessary something is........is from someone that knows very little or has never experienced anything remotely similar or comparable. Jerr Bear, if for no other reason.....the part where you refer to the risk of death, makes this urgently necessary. And anyone that doesn't get that.....can go *&%k themselves. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ms. Reid 51 Posted March 6, 2015 I am heading back to work next week. I am wondering how I am going to handle this sort of thing. I work in a restaurant with so many repeat customers who come through sometimes 3 or 4 times a day. A lot of them are doctors and health care workers from the hospitals nearby. I have been working there for 3 years so everyone knows me. I am not to worried about the doctors making comments, but the other customers are going to comment when they see me losing weight. I am not in a position to tell anyone to f**k off. I have not told people at work and took vacation time to recover. I just know it is going to be a big topic. I did want to change jobs anyway. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kyrickchick64 468 Posted March 6, 2015 I am heading back to work next week. I am wondering how I am going to handle this sort of thing. I work in a restaurant with so many repeat customers who come through sometimes 3 or 4 times a day. A lot of them are doctors and health care workers from the hospitals nearby. I have been working there for 3 years so everyone knows me. I am not to worried about the doctors making comments, but the other customers are going to comment when they see me losing weight. I am not in a position to tell anyone to f**k off. I have not told people at work and took vacation time to recover. I just know it is going to be a big topic. I did want to change jobs anyway. Just give them the truth. Your eating right and exercising. No one needs to know anything more. And if pressed just say you have another customer. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
blashlee 509 Posted March 6, 2015 @@Ms. Reid, You dont have to switch jobs or make up any excuses for when people have questions. "I'm eating less and moving more, thanks for noticing." If you're not comfortable telling people you've had surgery, then that's that. It's not their business to know and you shouldn't be made to feel uncomfortable. As I get closer to my actual surgery date, the few people I have told have been absolutely supportive and those are the people whose voices matter. People I work with and random friends of friends I encounter as the days wear on, those people's opinons and thoughts don't mean anything to me. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Momof2inIowa 195 Posted March 6, 2015 I wish there was a "Love" button for your post. What these people don't understand (because most have never lived it) is that this is FAR From easy. I am 34, when I was 8 1/2 months pregnant with My now 4 yr old son my Doc told me that I would never live to see him graduate. I am 5'9 and I was at 320lbs at that point. I have had personal trainers, I have done the Optifast diet (liquid), I have done so much and yes I did lose weight 80-90 lbs...my problem, I was ALWAYS hungry. I never had the switch turn off in my head that said hey you just ate, you can't be hungry anymore. THIS provided that switch. I had the Sleeve surgery done almost 10 months ago, I am down 134 lbs and I am LOVING Life. Heres the other thing...we aren't doing this for that "guy" at work, their opinions are just that. I am doing this for me, for my family, for that damn doc who told me I wouldn't see my son graduate high school, for the darn operators of the rides at Disneyworld and local parks that gave me a look of disgust when I had to leave a ride because I was to big to get on, for the clerks at Lane bryant that I will never have to see again! this is MY time. This might seem like the easy way out but it is so far from it. I would love to give you a high five, you have made a tough decision to fight for you! LIve for you and your family and forget about all the jerks in the world who have to rain on our parade. I congratulate you! WE will all do this together! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bandora 136 Posted March 6, 2015 I got the same comments so I didn't tell many people at first. These kind of " know it alls" lurk in all of our offices I suppose. My office busy body now is self- appointed as the food Police anytime we have an office potluck or treats for a birthday. Always wants to know what I eat and if I am going to slip up. I laugh it off now. It is clear that their own lives are missing something and their obsession with mine is a form of flattery. ha ha Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Airplaneskinny 19 Posted March 7, 2015 You owe noone an explanation. I also have over 200 to lose. The pre-op diet was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I am 1 week post op and eating is a chore. So screw judgemental people and their thoughts. I wouldn't have explained anything to him. At that point I would have said, "Why do you ask?" Do not explain yourself to anyone at work. I don't plan to when I return in a month. If they dare ask, I will say the same thing. It's not a rude response but it is rude to ask someone about their health. How dare that guy approach you, ugh! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
laurenella82 625 Posted March 7, 2015 Your coworkers needs to have several seats! Voluntarily going under anesthesia and the knife and then going from eating/drinkingwhat you want to newborn/infant stages of eating is in NO way the east way out. Doing absolutely nothing is the easy way out....but that would end in death! We choose to live and the steps it takes to do that aren't easy! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Glyndalin 80 Posted March 7, 2015 @@Jerr_Bear - I like your professionalism. Sometimes the best response is no response. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
imsoglad56 402 Posted March 7, 2015 For those of you who actually care about being polite, unlike me, here's a possible answer for you: "well of course I'm taking the easy way, my parents always taught me to work smarter, not harder". Said with a smile, this comes off very nicely. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Shell88 157 Posted March 8, 2015 I've been on this journey since August, getting my surgery in 5 days.... I have had family and my best friend, and strangers tell me I am taking the easy way out, and why can't I just stick to the diet if I've done well enough on it this far. Honestly - I have so much more respect for the people who endure these surgeries from lapband to sleeve to bypass, etc. From the pre diets, testing, liquid phases.... to surgery, pain meds, exercising, and complications.,... to having to change our ENTIRE lives forever for this TOOL we take on so we don't fall back into bad habits.... I respect, and have so much awe for those who have preceded us in getting these surgeries and working hard to get their lives back from years of weight issues. Screw those who think less of us. We are amazing and we are stronger than any person who "can just do the diets and go to the gym". Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kyrickchick64 468 Posted March 8, 2015 I swear to everything holy, I will get my first trip in a police car for assault charges if one person utters those words to me after the week I have had. Somebody set up a bail fund for me. Lol Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Shell88 157 Posted March 8, 2015 @@kyrickchick64 LOL i would not blame you one bit..... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MisforMimi 760 Posted March 8, 2015 People will never understand the metabolic cycle of obesity....not our job to explain. If dieting and exercising worked for everybody, no one would be fat or unhealthy. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites