Got told by a coworker today that I'm taking the "easy way"

[Jerr_Bear 241]

I don't know how he found out, I really hadn't told many people at work, but I guess people talk. Anyway, it came up in conversation, and he started questioning my motivation, saying that didn't I worry that I was taking that easy way out. That if I just worked hard and stayed disciplined, I could do it all on my own. He made it sound so simple. I could tell he thought he was being positive, but he was being condescending, something he has a reputation for doing.

First of all, it's not so simple. I am well over 200+ lbs over. I have gone past the point of no return. And while I make no excuses for how I got this way, I know it's all on me, and I haven't made the best choices in my past. But I'm at the point where medical intervention is required, and my doctor wholeheartedly agrees (I love her by the way!). And I'm going to do this like I do everything in my life. To the best of my abilities. Despite his opinion, I know this will most certainly not be easy. In fact, I want to it to be hard. It will make it that much more worth it once I reach my goal.

And second. This is life and death, I'm in my mid 30s now, and the clock is ticking. If I keep going on this path, I will not have much time left on this planet. I am not concerned with preserving my honor in his eyes. I have family and friends who are all united in their support of me on this. And he's just some guy we hired last year to do . . .I really don't know what he does.

So for those that say, we're cheating, or taking the easy way out. Kindly direct them to engage in intercourse with themselves. Rant over.

Edited March 4, 2015 by Jerr_Bear

[Sharpie 3,306]

lol I love your response. For a few people who have made that asinine statement to me, I pretty much told them if it was so easy why didn't they have it done then come back and discuss it .. Most of the people who are making the ignorant comments are usually overweight people who are afraid you might be successful and make them look bad, or they are obsessive, compulsive runners who look like skeletons . Nothing wrong with exercise and eating healthy but anything to the extreme is obsessive. Anyhow, You don't owe anyone an explanation or reason for what you do with your own body. You are smart to realize while you are still young that weight has a lot to do with health. I was 66 when I had my surgery and it was not easy in the least.. Most of the criticizers couldn't make it through the pre-op diet.

[Veronica Page 488]

I got the same thing from certain people and it completely angered me. It is not the easy way out. Its a tool. We are sometimes at such a heavy point that in order for us to lose the weight the caloric restriction has to be so low we would starve which would most likely led to a binge at one point or another. Plus we have to restrict everything we eat for the rest of our lives not just until we lose the weight. We are starting all over again. We are have deal with daily temptations and food can be just as addicting as smoking and drinking only more available and harder to break. We have to eat every day to live smoking and drinking we can live without. Don't even worry about others...you do for you and enjoy the journey of getting your life back cause at the end of the day you have to wake up and live with you! Good luck!

[*Lexie* 1,486]

Well I just threw up in a trash can in my office during a conference call because I ate something that my sleeve didn't approve of so yeah, super easy. Your post is exactly why I didn't tell a single soul at work. People can be dense sometimes.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

I don't know how he found out, I really hadn't told many people at work, but I guess people talk. Anyway, it came up in conversation, and he started questioning my motivation, saying that didn't I worry that I was taking that easy way out. That if I just worked hard and stayed disciplined, I could do it all on my own. He made it sound so simple. I could tell he thought he was being positive, but he was being condescending, something he has a reputation for doing.

First of all, it's not so simple. I am well over 200+ lbs over. I have gone past the point of no return. And while I make no excuses for how I got this way, I know it's all on me, and I haven't made the best choices in my past. But I'm at the point where medical intervention is required, and my doctor wholeheartedly agrees (I love her by the way!). And I'm going to do this like I do everything in my life. To the best of my abilities. Despite his opinion, I know this will most certainly not be easy. In fact, I want to it to be hard. It will make it that much more worth it once I reach my goal.

And second. This is life and death, I'm in my mid 30s now, and the clock is ticking. If I keep going on this path, I will not have much time left on this planet. I am not concerned with preserving my honor in his eyes. I have family and friends who are all united in there support of me on this. And he's just some guy we hired last year to do . . .I really don't know what he does.

So for those that say, we're cheating, or taking the easy way out. Kindly direct them to engage in intercourse with themselves. Rant over.

My answer to something like this?

"Cool!" and walk away.

or if you really want to poke 'em...

"You know, as I consulted my doctor, my therapist, my NP, the surgeon, my nutritionist, something was nagging at me and I finally figured out what it was... YOUR opinion. That's exactly what I was waiting for. So thank you."

Or kick 'em in the junk.

Your choice.

[Graciesmom04 184]

I told 2 very close friends at work. Didn't even tell all my family. I wanted those who I knew would support me 100% to know and that's it. I've dieted several times and lost 50lbs each time to only gain back 60 and 70lbs. Obviously, unless I wanted to eat cardboard the rest of my life, I needed help. And I did just that. Not for anyone else but me.

It's always so easy for others to judge.....again, walk a mile in my shoes.

[Rogofulm 2,440]

To someone who says something like that unsolicited, I'd be tempted to say, "Really? Tell me what you think you know about bariatric surgery, and what's so easy about it. The quarter of a million people on my Forum think it's hard, so what do you know that they don't? Are you pulling this ignorant sh!t out of your a$$? Then I suggest that you stuff it back where it came from." But what I'd really say is, "Why would you say such an insulting and ignorant thing? Is that your way of being helpful? Well it's not." Then I'd turn and walk away. And please, please don't let an ignoramus affect how you feel about yourself or the surgery. He's just not worth it! You're making an excellent decision for your health and for your life. Always remember that. And in a few months, you'll be reaping the benefits while jerk-boy watches and stews.

[BayougirlMrsS 3,939]

I don't know how he found out, I really hadn't told many people at work, but I guess people talk. Anyway, it came up in conversation, and he started questioning my motivation, saying that didn't I worry that I was taking that easy way out. That if I just worked hard and stayed disciplined, I could do it all on my own. He made it sound so simple. I could tell he thought he was being positive, but he was being condescending, something he has a reputation for doing.

First of all, it's not so simple. I am well over 200+ lbs over. I have gone past the point of no return. And while I make no excuses for how I got this way, I know it's all on me, and I haven't made the best choices in my past. But I'm at the point where medical intervention is required, and my doctor wholeheartedly agrees (I love her by the way!). And I'm going to do this like I do everything in my life. To the best of my abilities. Despite his opinion, I know this will most certainly not be easy. In fact, I want to it to be hard. It will make it that much more worth it once I reach my goal.

And second. This is life and death, I'm in my mid 30s now, and the clock is ticking. If I keep going on this path, I will not have much time left on this planet. I am not concerned with preserving my honor in his eyes. I have family and friends who are all united in there support of me on this. And he's just some guy we hired last year to do . . .I really don't know what he does.

So for those that say, we're cheating, or taking the easy way out. Kindly direct them to engage in intercourse with themselves. Rant over.

im over 5 years post op... and at first when people would say that, it would hurt my feelings. Now it's a whole new ball game... When someone dares to say that WLS is the easy way out ... I turn to them and say Oh really, tell me what you think you know about WLS.... That normally catches them way off guard. I love watching them back stroke.... Then i say.. Well, im free tomorrow for you to follow me around and if it's so easy, you will have no trouble adhering to all the rules that i have to..... Such as... No drinking with meals.. EVER!! No straws... small plates, small utensils, chewing and chewing till your jaw hurts. Eating so slow that by the time your finished it's all cold. to just name a few. then at 5 you can come to the gym with me and exercise...

if that don't work i just tell them to "f" off and mind their own damn business.

[Jerr_Bear 241]

Over the many years of being overweight, I've managed to develop a thick skin. Some guy like that could never discourage me. Had we been anywhere else, and not the office, I'd have told him to eff off. Thanks for all the stories, guys. Just wanted to share mine

[ChaiTea 4]

I am mentally preparing myself for having to deal with people like that. Right now I am not telling anyone I'm even taking the courses for the surgery. Noone at work or my family even knows because I don't want to deal with the negativity and let them watch the results.

I honestly would ask them which part is easy and slamdunk them with facts. Most people like are speaking entirely from ignorance. They don't even know that diet and exercise is even a part of the process. I pray for strength the day some comes at me with that bull.

[BayougirlMrsS 3,939]

Chai.... if you don't want anyone to know..... TELL NO ONE. people like to gossip... Even your bestest friends with eventually tell. Especially when they are large people too. When you start losing.. and people start noticing and those people hear and get jealous.... you can bet you last dollar the will say.....Well i could lose too if i had WLS.... then that's all it takes.

Just be prepared with an answer... Smile when you do. My standard answer was.... I'm watching what i eat , controlling my portions and exercising.... Which are all completely true.

Now when people ask me.... hey, how's your day.... i say... I'M Fabulous.. Thanks Even to my A** hole husband....... Because I am...

Edited March 4, 2015 by bayougirlmrsc

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

I don't know how he found out, I really hadn't told many people at work, but I guess people talk. Anyway, it came up in conversation, and he started questioning my motivation, saying that didn't I worry that I was taking that easy way out. That if I just worked hard and stayed disciplined, I could do it all on my own. He made it sound so simple. I could tell he thought he was being positive, but he was being condescending, something he has a reputation for doing.

First of all, it's not so simple. I am well over 200+ lbs over. I have gone past the point of no return. And while I make no excuses for how I got this way, I know it's all on me, and I haven't made the best choices in my past. But I'm at the point where medical intervention is required, and my doctor wholeheartedly agrees (I love her by the way!). And I'm going to do this like I do everything in my life. To the best of my abilities. Despite his opinion, I know this will most certainly not be easy. In fact, I want to it to be hard. It will make it that much more worth it once I reach my goal.

And second. This is life and death, I'm in my mid 30s now, and the clock is ticking. If I keep going on this path, I will not have much time left on this planet. I am not concerned with preserving my honor in his eyes. I have family and friends who are all united in there support of me on this. And he's just some guy we hired last year to do . . .I really don't know what he does.

So for those that say, we're cheating, or taking the easy way out. Kindly direct them to engage in intercourse with themselves. Rant over.

You said it. Eff em'! I went through 3 ½ mths of testing, surgery to place an IVC filter and another to remove it. I work out 5 - 6 days a week and keep a food diary to monitor everything I eat. If that's easy I must be living in bizarro land.

[imsoglad56 402]

I talk too much, pretty much all the time, so I've told almost everyone I've spoken with in months, lol. However, most everyone that knows me know that I don't really hold back, so I haven't gotten any negative comments. They probably all know that if they say anything negative to me, I'll tell them to go fuck themselves.

[blashlee 509]

I'm the queen of sass and snark. I'm honestly waiting for the day someone tries to step to me and tell me what I'm about to do in about a month from now (gastric bypass) is easy or asks me why I did it. And I hope they do it on a day that I don't feel well or am already struggling so I can give them a full blown response. And I hope it makes them wish they never ran into me in the break room. Or regret that they ever learned to express an unwanted opinion again. Ever. I almost hope it's strong enough to get me warned by a supervisor. Cuz then maybe word will get out that I'm not someone to be bothered or quizzed.

:-D but still just as sweet as Splenda, I promise.

[pink dahlia 2,513]

Jerrbear, dont take this personally, but I think I love you . ( Lipstick Lady already knows I love her ) I love your whole attitude. Those that think its the "easy way out " are just running their mouths, not their brains, if they even have one. How on earth people get the idea that they gave a right to criticize someone elses medical choice, without being informed themselves is beyond me. Speechless. You just stick to your guns, do whats right for YOU, and after awhile your idiot co worker will be speechless too ( because you are going to look and feel AMAZING !!!) Best of luck to you !!