Dating after the sleeve

[funcatch 5]

So I'm 4 months post sleeve surgery and down 40lbs. My unsupportive husband decided he wasn't in love with me and we are in the process of divorcing. The divorce was no surprise. Unfortunately he didn't want the marriage or work for it like I tried.

Anyway I'm looking forward to dating later this year and meeting new people. I'm 30 yo. But food and alcohol are often part of the dating process. Luckily I never was much of a drinker. I can only imagine going out and eating 4 bites and being full. How do you deal with this?

What about the scars? When do you tell your sleeve story?

I'm excited but scared of dating. Any advice from fellow sleevers is appreciated.

[Elode 8,093]

Sorry about your husband I can't really help you with any of that BUT they just started a new forum on here called the "singles forum" and I bet you can find some good info in there!

[joatsaint 2,814]

After being single for more than 30 years, I've finally found a lady that likes hanging out with me. I haven't told her anything beyond the fact that I've lost a lot of weight and I have to limit how much of certain foods I eat. I've told her that I can't eat a whole bunch of anything if I want to keep the weight off. That seems to be enough info to share with her for now.

When we go out, I told her right from the start that I would not be eating much and I was going out, not to eat, but to hang out with her and enjoy her conversation and company.

But if you are going to be dating later in the year, that means you'll be further along in the healing process and will probably be able to eat much more than you can now. At 6 months, I was up to eating 1 cup of food per meal. I know that's isn't much, but it's more than 4 bites.

As far as scars go, I'm going to try to make a joke of it by telling her that the big scar is where the alien popped out. If she laughs at that, then I'll feel comfortable telling her the rest of the story. But seriously, 4 out of 5 scars I have are faded and look like big freckles. The 5th one is very faded and in low light, very difficult to notice.

So I'm 4 months post sleeve surgery and down 40lbs. My unsupportive husband decided he wasn't in love with me and we are in the process of divorcing. The divorce was no surprise. Unfortunately he didn't want the marriage or work for it like I tried.

Anyway I'm looking forward to dating later this year and meeting new people. I'm 30 yo. But food and alcohol are often part of the dating process. Luckily I never was much of a drinker. I can only imagine going out and eating 4 bites and being full. How do you deal with this?

What about the scars? When do you tell your sleeve story?

I'm excited but scared of dating. Any advice from fellow sleevers is appreciated.

[funcatch 5]

Thanks. I will check out the singles forum. Thanks for sharing your story too. I can eat more some days than others- anywhere from a cup to 5 bites I hope my scars fade too. I'm a confident lady but sometimes it's awkward to tell others what you've been through.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

My advice - wait.

Losing weight is such an emotional demanding process

Divorce is also such an emotional, demanding and at times devastating process. I personally think spending some time just being "you" might not be a bad thing.

I am 3 years post op and eat petitely but nobody guesses i had WLS. Skinny chicks eat small... and nobody cares.

[MsAlaineus 63]

My advice - wait.

Losing weight is such an emotional demanding process

Divorce is also such an emotional, demanding and at times devastating process. I personally think spending some time just being "you" might not be a bad thing.

I am 3 years post op and eat petitely but nobody guesses i had WLS. Skinny chicks eat small... and nobody cares.

I'm with cowgirljane on this one. You gave yourself the ultimate gift: the keys to health and wellness. You're shedding unwanted pounds and unhealthy relationships...put yourself first right now. Heal physically and emotionally before you head back down that road.

XO,

Ms. A

[pinkbunies 359]

Dating again is so much fun, especially at 30.

Sucks that your hubby was a jerk. Don't take this the wrong way, but learn from it and don't fall for a jerk like that again.

Was your hubby over weight or controlling?

Relationships usually hit tough spots after weight loss surgery and its usually from the insecurity of the spouse. The on way I looked at it was.. if they loved me fat, they should really love me skinny.

Wait til you hit six months post op. It's fun.

[funcatch 5]

Thanks for the support everyone. I'm enjoying me time right now by getting healthy and loving myself. I'm 40lbs down and confident more than ever. However, my soon-to-be ex-husband was never confident in himself. I was always his cheerleader. When I needed time to take care of myself, he checked out of our relationship. He sought his sense of confidence from other people and things.

I'm taking the time for me and fostering my relationships with my girlfriends. It's a fresh start and I'm excited for what's head. I don't want to date anytime soon, but it's good to know I'm not alone in this WLS journey. Thanks for the love everyone.