Thoughts after 2 years

[sharonintx 1,275]

I haven't been here in a good while. I see some familiar names and lots of names that are new. Right before surgery and for several months after this forum was very helpful to me.

I freely admit that I did not follow the recommended path after my gastric sleeve. I got some stern commentary from a few members here and I probably deserved it. Overall the members here have good intentions and the advice they give is sound. There will be a few here that remember me - to you I say Hola! Nice to see you all are still around. For the ones that I haven't had the pleasure of seeing before - Hey there. I'm Sharon, I'm in Mesquite TX, and I went to Tijuana in March of 2013. Dr Almanza did my surgery. I have nothing but good things to say about my experience with him and the staff.

I've lost 50 pounds. For the past year I have been maintaining that. I didn't really have a goal weight when I started this thing. I was tired of fighting the fat battle and I found a way to make the battle stop. I could lose more weight if I put my mind to it but I'm really pretty happy where I am. I went from a size 18 or 20 to a size 12. In an effort to be brief I'm going to list my main thoughts below and maybe a few of them will be helpful to someone else.

Do not underestimate the need for counseling before this type of surgery. In going to Mexico I bypassed all of the preparation that you get in the US. I figured I didn't need it. Haha! It didn't happen that way. I was completely unprepared for the emotional changes. It took over a year for me to start to get a grip on my feelings. It was hard, it sucked, and I wouldn't advise going it alone. I'm doing ok now and I will say that being forced to deal with the issues that made me a fat girl in the first place have made me a stronger person. Like...a lot stronger. I know myself better than I ever did before and truthfully I like me better now after having to fight thru the emotions. But seriously - get the pre-surgery counseling - all of it and take it to heart. Don't be like me and think you don't need it. You do.

Would I do it again? I don't know. Probably so. Some days I would give anything to eat a whole hamburger. After you spend your life relating to food in one way then it changes abruptly - well it can be quite frustrating. But you learn to live with it. I do like my results and I like the size of my clothes. I eat anything I want and I don't gain weight. People talk of the sleeve stretching and gaining weight back. This hasn't happened to me. This thing is unforgiving and it doesn't budge. I can actually eat less now than a year ago. I must say that Dr Almanza did a bang up job. The sleeve he gave me is quite sturdy and dependable. When it comes to eating, the sleeve wins every time.

Yes the sleeve gave me everything I wanted from it. I asked for it and I got it. I got the results I wanted and my appearance changed permanently. But this is the thing - when you are fatter you are kind of invisible. Lose a lot of weight and suddenly you aren't invisible anymore. Once again I got what I asked for. Well - it makes me very uncomfortable. Sometimes I just want to be invisible again. Not all the time but for the most part I just don't need the extra attention. Just another case of be careful what you ask for. I'm not meaning to be negative. Just saying that a lot of times what we think we want isn't necessarily going to make us happy. Happiness can only come from inside yourself. A lower number on the scales and a slimmer physique will not equate to happiness. Change yourself from the inside first if you want to be happy.

These are the most pleasant things you gain from the sleeve from my perspective: I'm proud of myself for having the courage to do it and I'm more proud of myself for making the emotional journey. There will always be those who think weight loss surgery is the easy way out. WRONG. Its the hardest thing I've ever done in my life.

Self confidence. That elusive thing that we all want more of. Well guess what? I got it. I have confidence in my appearance and somewhere along the way I started to carry myself with confidence. If I catch a glimpse of myself in a store window I am still surprised at the way I look walking along. Sometimes I can't believe that's me. But it is and I like it. Here's the thing: Yes, some of the confidence comes from my outward appearance. But the most of the confidence comes from having emerged alive after the emotional issues were ( mostly) conquered. So see, the confidence was in there the whole time. I just didn't know how to find it. Yours is in there too! Being thinner won't allow it to come out. Only you can do that.

I have learned so much about myself. I am a different person than before. Once again, on the inside. I don't care anymore if I'm fat or thin. I always thought that's what defined me as a person. How I looked. What a silly girl I was. My self worth is no longer defined by a number on a scale or by a size on a pair of pants.

So there it is. Thanks to those of you that read this. I do hope someone finds something useful in what I've said. But mostly I said it because I needed to for me. 2 years ago I would have never opened up like this. Now I can and I'm not afraid of how I feel. That's what the sleeve did for me. I hope it does something good for you too.

[Downsizing Annie 15]

Thank you for sharing!!!

[Blue Sky 89]

Congratulations on your success and thx for sharing your journey!

[Kathy812 794]

Thanks for your honesty & glad you're able to keep the weight off two years later. Wishing you continued success.

[Susan909 52]

Very well said. Written with honesty and insight.

[BladeFox 235]

Hey Sharonintx, it is good to know about your journey. I am one that has stopped losing weight. I stopped in August some time. I feel sooo great in my skin. I'm also not where I want to be in a size 12 but I'm, a 16 and honestly feel awesome, sexy, confident and empowered where I am. I have asked myself if I want to try to reach my goal and I do, just without the stress of keeping up with others. That's too much of a head stress.

Again, congrats on your successes. The sleeve is a wonderful tool that boldly reminds us to watch what we eat.

[Flygirl123 150]

Congrats on all your success! I don't hear much talk about the emotional changes, mostly it's the physical changes people mention. Thank you for sharing your journey. You gave me a lot to think about.

[iamblessed1225 61]

Congrats on your continued success I pray on my 2 years surgerversery I'm still at my goal!! I do relate to the emotions as well!! Thanks for the honesty and inspiration!! GOD bless!!

[Zane's Mom 184]

I'm in mesquite too. I'm 9 months out. Message me if you would like to talk.

Congrats on your success and insights.