breakup binging

[sweeTHEArt 2]

I am having a baaaaaaaaaaaaad day. I put my faith in a guy and I was let down yet again. I attribute it to my weight and him finding me less than attractive. It's the same scenario every time and it makes me loathe myself. I have lost 28 pounds but sometimes losing that much weight just makes me realize how bad it is because I have so much to go and I haven't really seen much of a difference with the 28 pounds.

I mean it's not a huge investment I made in this guy but it still hurts like hell. I have cried today. I have gone to the gym today and I have binged today. This is my first binge/ego hurt since getting banded 2.5 months ago. I didn't think I would binge but I guess it's still possible. I mean the degree to which I did it is so much smaller. I had some frozen yogurt a frappaccino, almonds and sushi (all spaced out throughout the day) but I still feel pretty bad about my sadness and now about eating like I did before. I know old habits are hard to break but it was really the only way I knew how to cope and I still don't really feel any better. I could still probably eat more but that isn't really what I want to do and it isn't make me better. I know I need to learn new habits but I am seriously sitting here feeling miserable and alone. I am really lonely and frankly whats the point of being thin if I am going to be alone forever!?? :myscared:

[srsalas 0]

Hey,dont be sad,dont look at what your loosing. but what you will be gaining, A new you! put your faith in a higher power. Life has a lot of Crumby bumps,maybe he will realize what a mistake he made.When ever they say love hurts its no lie,give your self time to heal dont beat your self up.take one day at a time.It sounds like Your trying.I have seen a lot of before and after photos,and people Look amazing! give yourself a chance.I will be praying for you God Bless

SABRINA

[Mischievous1 6]

I am having a baaaaaaaaaaaaad day. I put my faith in a guy and I was let down yet again. I attribute it to my weight and him finding me less than attractive. It's the same scenario every time and it makes me loathe myself. I have lost 28 pounds but sometimes losing that much weight just makes me realize how bad it is because I have so much to go and I haven't really seen much of a difference with the 28 pounds.

I mean it's not a huge investment I made in this guy but it still hurts like hell. I have cried today. I have gone to the gym today and I have binged today. This is my first binge/ego hurt since getting banded 2.5 months ago. I didn't think I would binge but I guess it's still possible. I mean the degree to which I did it is so much smaller. I had some frozen yogurt a frappaccino, almonds and sushi (all spaced out throughout the day) but I still feel pretty bad about my sadness and now about eating like I did before. I know old habits are hard to break but it was really the only way I knew how to cope and I still don't really feel any better. I could still probably eat more but that isn't really what I want to do and it isn't make me better. I know I need to learn new habits but I am seriously sitting here feeling miserable and alone. I am really lonely and frankly whats the point of being thin if I am going to be alone forever!?? :myscared:

Trust me you are NOT going to be alone forever! Please just try to believe in yourself, you are going to get there...28 lbs is a HUGE amount and although it feels like you have along way to go, just double that amount...then double that again, that's over 100 lbs!!!! You are going to do this and i'm afraid to say that once you do your confidence is going to soar ..the men will come. If you EVER talk to any man and ask them who the most sexy attractive woman in the crowd is, they will ALL tell you it is the one with the most confidence. NOT THE SKINNIEST BODY! So with that push your shoulders back, hold your head high, smile and let them know you do NOT need them, or food to make you feel good, just take care of YOU and the rest will all fall into place.

Good luck on your journey you've made amazing progress and hellooo i'm still working on that 28 lbs as are many of us on here, but it's going to happen for you I guarantee it.

One thing I used to do to mend a broken heart is to go to a track at a local high school-it's close to a road so I felt safe as there was alot of traffic going by since I was alone and I would walk and think about everything that happened and cry...and cry. My goal was to walk away all the pain and I would even chant in my head "pain is preferrable" and until I stopped thinking about the guy and crying I wouldn't stop walking...needless to say I dropped 50 lbs in 2 months going through my first divorce...of course I put it all back on with my second marriage and child-hence why i'm here, but hey it works, I highly suggest it to anyone who is eating to heal pain as it just doesn't work.

[Bamalama 0]

YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!! there are so many wonderful people on this board that know what you are going through. You are very young and have so much to look ahead to!! One of the problems that we all have is depending on others to make us feel good. I have depended on everyone all of my life to make me happy. We have to be happy with ourselves.

Please be patient. You will know when the Right one comes along, and he will. People can be in a room filled with people and still be lonely! Stop binging, you are not hurting him you are hurting yourself!! Focus on your lap band journey and making your self happy.

I am so sorry you are sad and feel lonely. When you feel lonely come to the board and talk to us... We will always be here for you!

[jvalve 0]

you need to put your faith in yourself and God. YOu and God love your self unconditionally. until you accept and love yourself, you will have problems such as these. you are most important, never a guy.

[jvalve 0]

you aer not going to be alone forever! youare so you ng and once you get this lifestyle change down pat, the world is your oyster. you have youth on your sied, hon, take advantage of it. continue on in this stuggle we call life.

[CJQuilter 0]

jvalve - Don't binge......keep on track.....and when you lose your weight - don't even give him a second look....but I'll bet he'll be lookin at you!

CDJ

[LadyBlue 0]

Nope -- you're definitely NOT alone!!! I've had guys dump me because of my weight. I've come to the conclusion that anyone who is so shallow as to leave someone because of their weight is immature and not worth the time. They definitely have no clue what true love is.

At 44, I married my best friend -- literally! We used to cry on each other's shoulder over the people we were with, how we were being treated bad, etc. It's funny how I could see he was dating someone who didn't have a clue what love was, and he saw the same in me. We made a pact to get married in 20 years if neither one of us had anyone -- just a fun thing! Long story short -- we both found ourselves single (yet again) and started hanging out more. Next thing we know, we're what we've been looking for all these years. We're going on 3 years of marriage (after being best friends for 5 years before that), and it's wonderful. I've gained so much weight over the past year and a half (after quitting smoking) and he still tells me I'm beautiful. He's told me the band is my decision and it must be for ME, because he loves me AS IS. I'm going to be banded on June 12th and hope to lose 100 lbs. I'm only 5'1 and weigh in at 214 -- so I'm definitely overweight.

I'd given up on love, then God revealed what he had planned for me. He'll reveal His plan for you, too, when the time is right. Have faith and keep on losing. You've done fantastic so far. And you can keep it up. Do it for YOURSELF and when MR. RIGHT comes along, he'll be behind you 100% in whatever you're doing.

Good luck. I'll keep you in my prayers! Keep up the good work!

[sweeTHEArt 2]

THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!

I appreciate the support. I am feeling a little better today. I have gotten myself back on track minus some chocolate I ate today at work (but not to the degree I would have back in the day.)

I know I need to take care of myself and just let it be but I keep saying "i'm not looking." and constantly glancing around. I can't help think that things would be much easier if I had someone I was in love with to support me.

I guess I am taking it a day at a time and thanks again for all of your warm wishes!!!

[Bamalama 0]

Glad you are feeling better! Each day will be a little brighter

[BigHarleyGuy 0]

Hey Sweet,

Going through the same thing right now myself. My gf is in the process of breaking up with me, and I know it is because of my weight. I know this because I caught her saying it in an online conversation. I am pre-op, but on Optifast pending my banding I have lost 27 lbs, and I am fighting the urge to eat everything in sight, but I am better than that and she is not worth it. If anything it has been making me want to work harder in spite of her. So don't let this guy get you down he didn't deserve you in the first place if he thinks this way.

[davies 0]

Dont let him make you feel like that, his loss not ures!! U are doing wonderfully well & I would b so chuffed to lose 28 ounds, thats a massive acheivement. As for the binge, its gonna happen sooner or later but what a massive difference your binge would have made to a pre-band binge.

Keep smiling, men come & go, you choose who you want to keep!! xx