Pre op blues

[tia92 7]

Hey still waiting for a date for surgery , it have been a long process over a year and a 1/2 but am just feeling down about my weight and apart from the numerous medical problems that go with it , it really gets to me the way people judge FAT people I never really brought in to this belief before but it's true not everyone but the majority of 'normal' people out there literally hate us fat people and look down on us. Self confidence is at all time low atm ... Any positive stories or comments ???...???....

[FindingSassy 38]

You are so right. The average thin person doesn't have a clue what's it's like to live in an obese body. They will never get what it's like, until they've walked just one day in our shoes.

I'm 7 weeks post op and still feeling a little self conscious but not near as bad as before surgery. Now that I've started losing weight (35lbs) and inches, 13 1/2", I'm proud of myself and honestly don't give a rats behind what others think of me.

Be patient, you'll get there.

[tia92 7]

Wow that's a lot of weight in 7 weeks , congrats ! Have a weird question for you ,as I just keep thinking and have the determination that I'm not always going to be fat what it would be like to loose a significant amount of weight .. I know your probably not at your goal weight 7 weeks out but do u feel different as a person ??? Or just the same ???

And it's just so annoying being fat since pre school, it's practically a part of growing up these days to be bullied about something so you'd think you would grow a thick skin and be able to deal with names and looks of superior people and staring and just listening to people fat bash directly at you or just in general conversation when your in a room talking about how bad fat is .

I try to dissociate my actual self who I am as a person with my obesity as in obviously I want to look after my body and appear the best I can be but as obese goes I try to not let it define who I am or let it be the reason I'm less successful . I mean I'm sure there's some obese people out there who literally eat Mac Donald's for Breakfast lunch dinner and In between and don't try but for the majority of people who have experienced the brunt of obesity Lord knows we've tried to escape.

It's just getting harder and harder these days to not let obese be your label , sometimes I wish I was invisible and get so embarrassed of myself low self worth etc ..

I'm not vein in the slightest but I just can't wait for the day I can walk down the street and not have someone look at me like I discust them.

Sorry for the long reply / rant x

[FindingSassy 38]

No need to be sorry for writing to much, this is an open forum for people like us to vent. Do I feel different? no not really. I'm excited to see the numbers on the scale moving in the right direction and shirts sliding over my tummy and rear end with ease, knowing that I didn't have to pull it over my tummy and rear end. I'm seeing a waist again, it's been a long time since I've seen it.

I've only been overweight half my life. I was healthy and fit till I moved to Montana at age 22. Three weeks after I arrived int MT I was in the hospital with asthma, severe asthma. The amount of steroids I was given to control the asthma was insane. I was taking 100mg per day, for three years, I put on 115 pounds in a year and a half. I almost doubled my weight in a three year span, before I started taking the steroids I weighed 129 pounds. I added a few few more pounds over the next 15 or so years. Right before surgery I hit my highest weight ever, I was 290 pounds and I was horrified with myself.

My best friend of 25 years, never once made me feel like I was less than. She treated me the same as she always did. It was other people I didn't feel great around, like my dad and sister. My sister is still very small, size medium, I feel like I have this crazy disease when I'm around her. I'm just not comfortable with her. My dad on the other hand, has ridiculed fat people for as long as I can remember. He would catch himself making a fat comment and tell me that he wasn't talking about me, as if it mattered. My dad was my business partner for 20 years and always felt the need to make excuses for my fluffiness, to potential customers and make it sound like it was for a good reason, I was fat.

Live each day for yourself and no one else, think positive and be accountable for all your life decisions. Ignore the people who make derogatory comments. Be a positive person and keep your eye on the prize...YOU ARE THE PRIZE!

Edited February 25, 2015 by FindingSassy

[srayl61 12]

I would also like to hear if any one has any words of wisdom for preop blues. I've been down and very frustrated for the last couple weeks. I completed all my prerequisites at the beginning of February and surgery was tentatively March but it was 3 weeks before I heard from my doctors office and they called to tell me they are scheduling all of April and in to the first 2 weeks of May. I asked them too about when they will submit to the insurance for approval and they said not until closer to my surgery date but I have no idea when that is or when they will submit. I'm just very frustrated living this way and I'm trying to stay focused on eating right and exercising in the mean time but it's hard. Any advice appreciated.

[tia92 7]

@finding sassy thanks for the reply and great to hear your story , me and you have the same type of dad he has the whole thought process that fat people are fat because they're lazy and eat too much and us humans aren't designed to be fat.

Thanks for sharing and has given me some more positivity xxx

[tia92 7]

@finding sassy thanks for the reply and great to hear your story , me and you have the same type of dad he is embarrassed of me but in my case mine has the whole thought process that fat people are fat because they're lazy and eat too much and us humans aren't designed to be fat.

Thanks for sharing and has given me some more positivity xxx

[tia92 7]

@sray same here is just a waiting game except I don't know when my surgery will be realistically . I'm just waiting for my next appointment for pre op assessment as I have been approved after a years dieting programme , as long as I'm fit and healthy. .... I just want it now I feel like just to get it over with so I can feel better , reduce my problems medically , more energy to face the day and be able to do more things that I'm stopping myself from doing I feel like I'm in a prison in my own body ... But don't worry you will get there at least u have a rough Idea of when you will have it. If it is defiantly been approved ? If I was you I would start preparing to make the time go quicker buy some essentials and useful things you will need . Like some cute little food pots to store and freeze pre made healthy food portions , prepared for easy access , a drink flask so you can control how much your drinking , hospital bag , some comfy clothes for recovering in , some gym clothes for light excersise , some good Vitamins , some hair care as you know hair thinning isn't the best look , good moisteriser for firming the sagging skin the list goes on .... Xx

[Djmohr 6,965]

I know how hard this waiting game is and how depressed a person can be pre op. The important thing is that you try to stay positive and focused on building good habits now because you are going to need them.

It took me around 10 months from when I actually started the process before I got my surgery. It was very frustrating but now that I look back it really helped me to prepare for what was to come. Focusing on things like eating slower, chewing your foods until it is basically pureed. Not watching tv while you eat. Doing some type of physical activity every day.

Making better food choices now vs. waiting until after surgery. If you smoke, drink or drink soda, changing those behaviors now are critical to your success. I look back now and after reading many forums/posts where people had their surgery right away, I have noticed many of those folks struggle to work the plan right from the start. I have often wondered if it was because they did not get the time to learn and practice good behaviors.

In terms of how you feel about your body post op. I would suggest talking to a phsycologist about this. The reason this is important is because it takes your brain a good long while to catch up to your body. If you have image issues or self doubt those feelings don't just disappear with the fat. In fact as you lose weight everything sags ( I call it the mudslide). You have to live with that for a long time before you can do anything about it.

It is good news because you are losing weight but it can bring you down if you do not have the right positive mindset. A phsycologist can help you through those hurdles.

Good luck and I hope u get a date soon!

[tia92 7]

Hey thanks for the advise , i like to hear other people stories it puts me in a better frame of mind . How far out are u from surgery ?

[srayl61 12]

@sray same here is just a waiting game except I don't know when my surgery will be realistically . I'm just waiting for my next appointment for pre op assessment as I have been approved after a years dieting programme , as long as I'm fit and healthy. .... I just want it now I feel like just to get it over with so I can feel better , reduce my problems medically , more energy to face the day and be able to do more things that I'm stopping myself from doing I feel like I'm in a prison in my own body ... But don't worry you will get there at least u have a rough Idea of when you will have it. If it is defiantly been approved ? If I was you I would start preparing to make the time go quicker buy some essentials and useful things you will need . Like some cute little food pots to store and freeze pre made healthy food portions , prepared for easy access , a drink flask so you can control how much your drinking , hospital bag , some comfy clothes for recovering in , some gym clothes for light excersise , some good Vitamins , some hair care as you know hair thinning isn't the best look , good moisteriser for firming the sagging skin the list goes on .... Xx

Hi Tia, thanks so much for responding. Thats a great idea. I don't know if I've been approved. My surgeons office said they will submit to my insurance for approval closer to my surgery date but I don't even know when that is. I'm thinking about calling and seeing if they have a date already just so I can have some information and can prepare and also prepare my work for it.

[sarahbeth3569 95]

I've been going through the process for gastric sleeve a year now. And it hasn't been easy. I constantly fret and would have such anxiety over my next appointment. I even felt like maybe they were trying to wait the weaker people out by letting them wait months for different appointments I needed done for this surgery. But I'll tell you this.....it seemed like my surgery date would NEVER get here...or that I'd never have surgery and I'd always be that fat girl, the fat mom on the soccer field, the fat TWIN sister (yes it's horrible) , the fat friend for the rest of my life, but I kept on going and kept as much faith as I could. If you believe in prayer PRAY about it!! I did, and it was like God just cleared the way for me and I am 2 days away from surgery!! tWO Days!! It seemed like it would never get here and now I'm so anxious and actually unprepared because time is flying too fast. Just don't give up. There will be hurdles and even more after surgery. But there's an answer for every bump in the road! If you're denied, research until your eye balls fall out! Just don't give up!

[tia92 7]

Ha yay is it sad that I just so excited hearing over people stories , @sarshbeth like I'm actually so happy for you to hear that you have a date also it give us other girls the hope to carry on and not give up.

Two days is coming around fast but sooner its done the sooner it over and you can start new journey !!!!!!

And don't worry you will be absolutely fine and remember that you deserve this !

If/ The day I get a surgery date , I will be so happy !

Hmm @sray maybe we should just get on to them again to find out what's going on , I mean I know where I am in regards to the process but I just want to know how long to wait like you girl , to let work know as I'm starting a new job next week and to prepare I would love to start preparing but I don't want to temp fate as I have been excepted but it's not official until I have a date and everything has been signed etc .. Girl get on to them again as I'm going to let's see how we get on .

Feeling the positivity from everyone girls !!!