Being mindful

[gowalking 10,790]

Went through all my little 'tricks' and tips for keeping my eating in line with the rules and calorie/sugar/sodium content with the therapist last night. Also mentioned to her how we show our pictures on this site and appologize for being seen as possibly boastful and specifically, how I deflect the compliments I regularly get.

This is all normal she tells me. The tricks I use she says keeps me mindful and diligent about how I have to eat in order to remain at this weight. She said it's likely that I may never be able to take food for granted and that if I try to deal with food like a person without food related issues, I might find myself in trouble again. I thought I was obsessing but she said, no obsessive...but mindful. That makes me feel better. I'm OK with mindful as long as the hunger is not overwhelming...which it is not because my band is doing what it's supposed to. So I do what I'm supposed to and hopefully, maintenance will be as successful for me as losing the weight has been.

As far as the picture and compliment thing...I find I post or look at my before and after pictures to remind me of what I look like now, and what I looked like then. She said that's healthy as well in that I'm learning to be comfortable with the new person I have become and it's perfectly OK to remind myself of what I look like..and what I used to look like. She said it's like a baby who looks at it's own reflection in wonderment and at times, puzzlement.

As far as the deprecating remarks I make when someone compliments me...well that too will take time. It's learning to recondition from always feeling bad or feeling very negative about my body. Anyway...very much a work in progress still. Lot's going on here...both from the outside and the inside.

[enjoythetime 1,457]

Glad you posted this. I too worry at times that I'm being obsessive with how I monitor my food. I think like she said mindful is what will keep us maintaining. I think If we stop being mindful we stop the process. I don't and never will have the leisure of being able to eat whatever I want when I want, if I did I wouldn't have needed this surgery, taking preventative measures to ensure we never end up where we were is imperative in my opinion.

As far as being boastful you're not but even if we were, I feel we've earned the right to be, we've worked our butts off (literally) to get where we are today. Sometimes I feel like when I'm posting advice that I'm coming off as a know it all, which isn't my intent at all I'm just trying to help and share what works for me but I see the pull back some times and wonder if I'm being too direct or if they're viewing it as oh she has this all figured out. Nope not at all, I'm learning every day.

To see where we were and where we are now is something that keeps me motivated because I never want to see the old me in the mirror again. I pray every night that I'll be able to maintain where I am now for the rest of my life. The old me really wasn't ME.

Edited February 25, 2015 by enjoythetime

[Debbie3sons 1,936]

And so here I am , after reading your posts & yes I will listen to the compliments , because then I know my tool & I together are doing our jobs.

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

And so here I am , after reading your posts & yes I will listen to the compliments , because then I know my tool & I together are doing our jobs.

You look great!

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

And so here I am , after reading your posts & yes I will listen to the compliments , because then I know my tool & I together are doing our jobs.

Looking fabulous !!

[Sharpie 3,306]

I do not think you are boastful or bragging. You know you have to always be mindful of your eating. It's like a reformed alcoholic or drug addict, You will always have the tendency to eat, but with the band you can be in control. I have been banded for 2 years, Most everyone who knows me has seen me at my current weight and I have stopped getting compliments as much which is okay cause it does get uncomfortable at times. I still have to catch myself especially at night after my husband goes to bed , from eating while watching tv, it was a lifetime habit that had to be changed.

[enjoythetime 1,457]

And so here I am , after reading your posts & yes I will listen to the compliments , because then I know my tool & I together are doing our jobs.

whoa girl looking great!!!!

[Debbie3sons 1,936]

Thank You all .

[Bandista 7,466]

Great post, Liz. I was raised not to ever get carried away with myself -- it was considered unseemly for a little girl in that era of being seen and not heard, etc. Shut up, look pretty and by all means don't feel successful. What a world! When some one compliments me I panic, and since I have one of those faces that registers every single emotion for every one to see, people close to me have stopped mentioning how much slimmer I am. Lately. I've been wearing fun clothes -- bright tights, shorter skirts and boots, dresses, retro sweaters, etc. Sometimes no one says anything as they don't want to make me feel uncomfortable and I find I'd like a little input. This tells me I'm changing. And I do like being noticed by strangers now. There is no former fat me for them to compare me with -- just the happy person in front of them now.

As far as monitoring intake, I was so restrictive for so many years that I don't think I could ever really let go. I have to be mindful about "allowing" myself or otherwise I am a dieter again and that did not work for me. I was a little worried about going the other way -- being "against" food and eating. Happy to report I still love food. It is an important part of my life and I want this healthy relationship to continue. For me that means not denying myself. Nor beating myself up.

[2babutterfly 483]

Well said bandista!

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

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Edited February 27, 2015 by JustWatchMe

[sleeveee 23]

I wanted to address some misconceptions about when I reference Mindful Eating. Mindful eating is not license (at least for me) to eat with wild abandon. It does not promote unhealthy eating, however it does legitimize many-to-all foods.

Legalizing foods is not contrary to good health. It does not mean disregarding your health. food choices still matter. The difference in an inner difference as to how food information is "processed." (pun intended!)

Mindful eating is self-aware eating, self-awareness of how the food choices you select make you feel. Do your choices make you grumpy, sleepy, sluggish, etc. or leave you hungry or leave you energized, etc., etc??

Mindful eating is a healthy relationship with food in which you are not good or bad for the choices you make. There is no body-bashing or feelings of failure for imperfect diets. You don't secretly stash away "bad" foods to eat for when your dieting spree ends, or for when you decide to "cheat."

Instead, you incorporate all foods that you wish into your choices. If done mindfully, formerly secretive "bad" foods lose their power and lose the ability to make you feel "out of control." The loss of a food's power over you is key, and it really can happen!

I still eat my Protein first and follow bariatric rules, but there has been a mind shift in me.

For me, mindful eating is being "in charge." It is balancing and self-empowering. It is not necessary to dig too deeply into the jar of nut butter or to eat every cookie on the baking sheet. If I truly want a cookie, I have one and savor that one so that I am truly satisfied. I seek out the very best quality in the foods I choose.

Eating more high quality foods helps me eat less. As an example, I don't waste my time on mere mortal chocolates when I can have a piece of fine chocolate that is, figuratively, a food fit for the gods.

I hope this brings some clarity to when I refer to mindful eating and that people do not mistake it as an eating excuse to be overly permissive or as an excuse for an abundance of thoughtless choices that lead to munching all day and night.

Gradually, with practice, mindful eating can lead to the opposite. That is, eating to satisfy one's true (stomach) hunger (eating in sync with the band, and soon to be my sleeve) and the recognition of when eating is an attempt to satisfy either negative or positive emotions.

Even if you are mindful and undistracted when eating just a few bites initially, I believe you can reap great benefits from tuning into food and the why's and how's of eating over just the what's....

[Debbie3sons 1,936]

@ Slleveeee, just to let you know , I see you are Sleveed so being banded like I am there are some little differences we don't have the dumping or some of us don't have to take Vitamins & other things so I am just saying there are some differences in our weight loss surgeries , just thought I would let you know.

[sleeveee 23]

Right now, I am banded and have been since 2011. I am getting revision surgery to the sleeve mid-March of 2015. As far as my surgeon has shared with me, both the band and the sleeve are restrictive procedures. There is no dumping as with the bypass surgery which works in part due to malabsorption and where dumping syndrome is more common. Still, parts of mindful awareness can be beneficial to eating slowly and saviring one's foods for several types of surgical procedures. Perhaps not all aspects will apply to everyone and bariatric rules such as eating Protein first, etc must always be followed.

Edited February 28, 2015 by sleeveee