How to tell your 4 yr old?

[fuzzywhitebunny 15]

So I want to tell my son who is 4 about my surgery. I wanted to see how everyone explained what was happening to their kids? I'm not sure if I want to tell him before but am really not sure.

Thanks for your help

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

I worked professionally as a CCLS. One of the rule we live by explain thing in the most simple way that's honest. A 4 year old doesn't need all the nitty gritty details. A simple Mommy's going to have the doctor fix her tummy will suffice. This way you can explain why you'll be gone for a day or 2 and why you can't pick him up and/or are a little sore. You can remind them that after a while you'll be much better.

[fuzzywhitebunny 15]

Perfect thanks!

[mrs kaje 347]

I'm not even telling my kids, who will be ten and eight. Kids have big mouths. All they need to know is that I'm going in to have something done. Something really vague

Also, I don't want to put it in their mind that "oh well, if I get fat, I can always have an operation to fix it, like Mum did".

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

I'm not even telling my kids, who will be ten and eight. Kids have big mouths. All they need to know is that I'm going in to have something done. Something really vague

Also, I don't want to put it in their mind that "oh well, if I get fat, I can always have an operation to fix it, like Mum did".

You don't make that connection for them. You tell them so their little minds don't create imaginary issues much worse than what is actually happening. You don't tell your're fat and unable to lose weight so you have to have this surgery. Hopefully you are also setting an example with good eating habits and exercise so they never have to deal with WLS.

[bruni 38]

i was upfront with my 7 and 8 yr olds - first, i was going to be in the hospital 2 nights and 2nd, because they know how much i struggle with trying to lose weight...they've seen me not eating stuff because i'm "on a diet" or can't do things with them because of my weight. i told them the surgeons were going to make my stomach smaller so i could lose weight to be healthier, live longer and do more stuff with them.

lastly, we talked about this being private, personal, family only information...they understood

with that said, i agree with BLERDgirl on the very simple approach for a 4 yr old

Edited February 24, 2015 by bruni

[MsAlaineus 63]

You might tell your young one that mommy is going to see the doctor to help her get healthy. This way, if it gets repeated, it is Pretty vague...

[mrs kaje 347]

You don't make that connection for them. You tell them so their little minds don't create imaginary issues much worse than what is actually happening. You don't tell your're fat and unable to lose weight so you have to have this surgery. Hopefully you are also setting an example with good eating habits and exercise so they never have to deal with WLS.

Exactly what I said in my original post - I will tell them something, but they don't need to know the real reason.

[fuzzywhitebunny 15]

All great ideas thanks for the help

[Brandalyn 53]

I have a 5 and 10 yr old boys. My 10 yr old wanted details, so I gave him the anatomy of it. My 5 yr old tells everyone that the doctor cut my tummy open. I told him it was to make my heart and body better so i could do more fun stuff with him and love him for years and years.

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

Exactly what I said in my original post - I will tell them something, but they don't need to know the real reason.

I'm not saying be dishonest or lie. Just keep it to basics.

I have a 5 and 10 yr old boys. My 10 yr old wanted details, so I gave him the anatomy of it. My 5 yr old tells everyone that the doctor cut my tummy open. I told him it was to make my heart and body better so i could do more fun stuff with him and love him for years and years.

Perfect! You give age appropriate information in simple terms they can handle.

[Jojo23 5]

I decided to tell a half truth to my girls who are eight. I told them I got my tummy fixed (I have always had an incompetent valve & volume reflux has always been part of my life), & I said to them that one of the side effects is that I will not ever be able to eat as much as I normally did. I told them I will eat even less than their meal portion. I felt it was important that they realise that I had an operation to fix me that the side effect was eating less. Girls are sensitive to what their Mum does & I didn't want them thinking that eating very small portions was "normal" and that it is just as bad as eating large portions. One of my girls then said. I hope you don't get too skinny Mum. So it definately does make them curious & even if you think they don't notice, they will.

[E-girl 98]

My kids were 6 and 8. I just told them that I was going to get a skinny shot from the doctor and that I would need to say for a few day but when I get back I would need them to be good and help daddy. My 6 year old was very sensitive to things so even though my 8 yo understood more we had to keep it simple for the 6 yo. They knew about my heart issues so when they asked why I was doing it we told them it that the healthier I am the less stress my heart would be under. When my youngest was 8 we explain the the both of them the truth. They were total cool with it.

[MoosieGirl 25]

I told my boys that I was having surgery. My 7yo asked why. So I explained that the doctor was going to fix my tummy so I could be more healthy. My 5yo decided I was either having my babymaker removed again (hysterectomy a year prior), or was having it put back in. I saw no reason to correct him, as he had decided it for himself.

[Idonails74 18]

Not telling my 9 yr old ... Keeping it simple . Just telling him I am getting a minor procedure done that will help me be healthier . Kids don't need to worry about their mom and also do not need to know everything about you !