Hubby doesn't understand!

[kimmerzj29 52]

I am 5 days post op and on the liquid diet! My husband has been nothing but supportive during this entire process!! But this week the hardest week, he's been cooking all my favorite meals for himself! Today was my final straw when he is making himself fried egg sandwiches for breakfast!! It's been okay up until yesterday I actually felt Hungary for the first time since surgery, but I miss food! I just want to eats something and enjoy foods again! I know it gets better and hopefully tomorrow when I go for my post op they will tell me I can start puréed foods! But I feel like my husband just doesn't understand what I'm going thru, what it's like to not be able to eat whatever you want, whenever you want!! He sits and complains that he doesn't know what to make or that he's Hungary, yesterday we went to the grocery store and he complained cause everything looked good! I almost lost it on him!! How can I make him understand what I'm going thru? Has anyone else experienced this?

[IcanMakeit 1,318]

In the first few weeks after surgery, I found that my emotions were heightened and my patience was reduced. I think you may be going through the same thing. Your husband did not have WLS and cannot be expected to adhere to your diet. It is nice when he remembers your feelings and keeps his food to himself, but living together, that's not always realistic. When it drives you up the wall, take a walk or engage in some other activity that will distract you.

The good news is that your current discomfort and irritability will subside as you progress through the stages. Hang in there.

[kimmerzj29 52]

In the first few weeks after surgery, I found that my emotions were heightened and my patience was reduced. I think you may be going through the same thing. Your husband did not have WLS and cannot be expected to adhere to your diet. It is nice when he remembers your feelings and keeps his food to himself, but living together, that's not always realistic. When it drives you up the wall, take a walk or engage in some other activity that will distract you.

The good news is that your current discomfort and irritability will subside as you progress through the stages. Hang in there.

Thank you I'm glad I'm not the only one who had an emotional breakdown!! I don't expect him to be on the same kind of diet as me just to understand a little more! I didn't realize how much my life revolved around food until my surgery! Thank you for the advice, I'll def be distracting myself more when he's eating!

[Bonawanabfree 280]

Remember too that your hormones are going nuts right now cause of the weight loss. You are getting the double whammy because you are hungry and hormonal. You are normal. When angry just keep in mind that this is your body being angry with your husband and not you. Your body is mad at you right now. I havent had the surgery yet but I am sure i am going to be like a wild anilmal for a while. I anticipate it...lol. hang in there.

[JamieLogical 8,708]

I agree with @IcanMakeit. It's easy to get irritable and frustrated in the early weeks. You are basically starving, you're uncomfortable or in pain, your tired, and your hormones go crazy. Hang in there. Try to be patient. I know how hard it is. I was right there 6 months ago. It will get easier, especially once you and your husband can start eating together again.

[kimmerzj29 52]

Thank you for all the support!!! I'll be keeping everything you've said in mind when I'm feeling down!!

[Stevehud 1,790]

its very easy to look at others and say, "how can you eat that in front of me" etc. i always joke with my wife, although she has lost about 15 pounds since I started losing, she doesn't have to restrict her eating. so it's hard when she has some chocolate, or the like, or even just seeing her have carbs that i can't. or won't have. but i made a vow to myself not to become the person that watches what she eats and tries to make it so if I can't have it, it cannot be in the house etc. in that respect i make the extra effort not only to do what i must for my own health and weight loss, but to be sure i dont turn into the ex-fat person who tells people how bad their eating habits are etc. I refuse to become that person. That's being said, being on all liquids was so hard, because as you say, you just want a damn bite of food. Im honest when i say i would probably engage is weird acts of silliness if i could only have some regular good old bread. lol and during liquids I probably would've robbed bank for a few french fries.

[Spicy06 175]

I am very lucky because my significant other and I work different shifts. So I get home and I am alone. I do not have to worry about anyone cooking around me and smelling the food. So for that I am truly thankful. He is very good to me and is keeping my favorite snack foods in the car so I don't see them lol! We talked about when we are together on the weekends that I will go into the bedroom when he cooks so it won't tempt me and I won't take my anger out on him!

[kay1117 83]

I came home from the hospital on Friday and my husband invites friends over on Saturday to visit with me. He went out and bought doughnuts, Cookies, mozzarella sticks, popcorn chicken and potato skins... I was livid with him. If the people are coming to see me and they truly care about me and what I am going through they wouldn't care to have that food there. We weren't throwing a party, just have visitors wishing me well. My friend did say something to him that night that he didn't need to do that, they understood what I was going through so I think he understood.

[KristenVSG2014 1,872]

My husband was eating all kinds of bad foods in front of me after surgery. Most of the time it nauseated me but there was one time he was eating a burger and I wanted to smack it out of his hands it smelled so dang good. I had quite a few emotional meltdowns those first two weeks after surgery. It gets better. Just stay focused!

[livingstone 137]

My other half is using my surgery as a chance to lose weight himself. So much of his bad habits came from things we did together (take aways, big bags of sweets or crisps etc in front of TV etc) so he's been eating healthy things that tend not to appeal to me (I've never liked salads etc).

But he did get some beautiful looking sourdough bread, and I wanted nothing more than to lather it with butter and devour it. So I certainly understand the difficulty of being around food you want.

But ultimately my goal has to be to eat normally with him. I don't plan on shutting any food out - anything I am able to eat, I will eat, but in smaller portions and more sensibly than before. So as long as I can tolerate bread or potatoes, for example, I plan to have some along with my partner. The thought of eating normally with my partner is what's keeping me sane right now.

[Thinkingthinner1109 485]

I hate it when my husband eats bread. Lol. I don't buy bread at home anymore. He missed it the first few weeks. Now he is ok with it. He still buys huge bags of peanut M & M's and I can hear him chew them. I don't bake for him anymore. I just can't do that. I am below goal so it's not that I can't enjoy a treat every now and then, but I just do t do it. Not worth the calories to me. My treat is popcorn. I love it. The first week after my surgery my husband wanted to go to Red Lobster. Yeah I threw a fit. My emotions were high and I was quite grumpy. My poor husband. I have since recovered from my grumpiness. Haha. He is somewhat better and is trying to make better food choices. He mentions every now and then he is going to be "skinny" like me by next summer. I don't think he fully understands my eating but he is doing much better. I am almost 7 months post op and made goal at about 5 1/2 months. So it does get better!!