female only 50 shades of Grey

[Cupcake 801]

My baractric life there would be no need for affairs if people were truly honest with one another and married people they are compatible with and get to know one another instead of just jumping into the bed with them . I believe the only universal right is tp truly find your soul mate , marry that person and honor your marriage vows and be honest with oneself .

[My Bariatric Life 764]

@@Cupcake often people change and fall out of love whom were once very much in love with one another.

Soulmate relationships are often confused with twin flame relationships. You will have many soul mates but only one twin flame. I've been studying this a lot. You may want to Google it if it really interests you. I found it to be very accurate, almost to a T. I am writing a series on it for BariatricPal. Again if it interests you, please read my article Soul Relationships part 1 http://www.bariatricpal.com/page/articles.html/_/relationships-dating-and-sex/soul-relationships-part-1-r345

[SkinnyDown 409]

@ hahaha

So are there signs to look for that might signal a guy is into being a submissive before you get involved sexually?

I think there are general things to look for. Is he initiating sexual advances, in and out of the bedroom, or does he wait for you? Does he take charge and calm down a situation, or run away when things get tough/chaotic/drama filled? Is he jealous, overly possessive, insecure?

You see, a true Alpha Male, knows how to create his own space. He is sure of himself, comfortable in his own skin He knows he doesn't have to use any kind of brute force, or even raise his voice to get his point across or what he wants. She's going to be so taken with him, she'll come to him. She won't need a collar, because she wouldn't stray. A true Alpha Male is in charge and in control of his own emotions, and is someone you feel safe around. He is not someone you feel you might have to protect. He is someone you know will always protect you, take care of you. He is not a chest beater, those are beta males posing as Alphas. And beta males will need more care and maintenance than an Alpha. True Alpha Males are not easy to come by.

The Alpha male is the man sitting in a club, comfortable, having a drink, taking in everything, quiet, in command of himself, no sign of desperation that he even needs a woman. The beta male is the male going around from table to table, desperate, looking for any woman who will take him. Guess who generally goes home with someone...at the end of the night, The Alpha. Why? Because he didn't have to make a move, the women came to him. That's a lot of power.

These are general things I look for, and have observed in men. I have been with both, Alpha and beta males. I prefer Alpha, but they have to be very strong and very in charge, or I will walk all over them. I'm a dominant female, an Alpha female. But I can submit to the right man. I'll just remind everyone reading this, this is only my experience, my opinion, and my perspective. That does not make it a Universal truth. I don't like arguing. We are all entitled to our opinion.

On the 50 Shades front: I see we have our first death from a reenactment of some scene in the film.

I couldn't verify if that was true or not, but it does bring up the responsibility this film has, to not glorify what is and can be very intense play, in the hands of people who have no idea what they are doing.

[My Bariatric Life 764]

@

ugh, sick to my stomach when I read this news report, from a reputable source. that is not BDSM, that is a "man" binding and torturing a woman against her will. i have not been in a relationship of this sort but i do know it must be based on trust and respect between both parties and that there must be safety words (i.e. yellow, red, in the movie) that are adhered to without fail. i would have to literally trust a man with my life to feel safe to allow him to bind me... bound and blindfolded, i don't think i could give up that much control or trust someone that much... plus i love the visual pleasure of intimate relationships most especially looking into his eyes and connecting with his soul.

i just took an online quiz and this is my result: YELLOW You are High Alpha (61%) and Mid Beta (26%), which means that you are dominant in most relationships but have the capacity to collaborate and compromise. However, you have to guard against imposing your strong will and overpowering people. You will match up well with a partner who has a strong Mid to High Beta profile and will allow your Alpha to lead. Your best match is with someone more laid-back than you, who will help you take the edge off when necessary (Blue or Pink). http://www.alphawomanthebook.com/quiz/alpha-beta-personality-types/

I love an alpha male but he's got to be tender and emotionally deep and insightful and share his soul (his true self) with me. I am independent and in no way want to feel controlled but I do want a man who makes me feel protected and secure, physically, emotionally, spiritually and financially. I cannot readily say that I want to be the dominant one in a relationship. I'd rather a unified relationship. I absolutely like a man to be dominant sexually, at least most of the time, if he is the right man for me. I like the feeling of emotional intimacy and surrender into bliss, the rich experience of having a primal connection with someone. I cannot say I have a lot of experience in this area. I've had only three lovers and got married at 19yo. to one of them.

Interesting conversation. I like that you point out Universal truths. You seem Enlightened.

Edited March 11, 2015 by My Bariatric Life

[BayougirlMrsS 3,934]

Am I the only one who thought the movie was horrid? Someone described it as "two awkward people having sex" - I concur totally.

When I'm on my "bariatric work break" (i.e. post op) I'm going to read the books because I heard they were much better.

Im an advid reader and will read most anything if it keeps my interest... I read these because everyone said how good they were... i mistakenly bought all three.... had i read the first one first... i would have never wasted my money on the remaining two...

Lexie.... don't waist your time. I read all three in hopes that they would get better... let me sum up all three...

Girl meet boy, girl is a virgin...(of course she is), boy become obsessed with her because she wants noting to do with him, she has self esteem issues.... they break down the wall... become intimate... he confides in her his "secrete" ... she is excepting..... (now this is how the remainder of the books go) She does something that pi$$es him off, he punishes her in some sexual way, she forgives him... repeat... repeat... repeat.

They were the most boring, predictable book i had read in a long while (Danielle Steele books are like this)

I have been asked numerous times to go see the movie with girlfriends and i say... I didn't like the book, why would i waist money on the movie.

[BayougirlMrsS 3,934]

so for those women that "loved" 50 shades and want a really erotic read. Read The sleeping Beauty Trilogy ... by A.N. Roquelaure AKA Anne Rice. No they are not vampire books...

Im not by any means an Anne Rice fan... I read these book back in the early 90ies, you know when they were in paperback (which i still have). Im re reading them now because she has a fourth book coming out next month.

Yes, the sex is graphic and explicit, so if that bothers you, please don't read them. They are NOT for the faint-of-heart. She dives right in from the first pages......But the story wouldn't work any other way. She brings you right along with Beauty into another world, and you can't help but be drawn in by the tempting surrealism. A great escape, in my opinion. It's only for those who enjoy good erotic fiction (this would probably fall into the S&M/Bondage genre).

[My Bariatric Life 764]

@@bayougirlmrsc "he touched her sex." Now that made me laugh. I read a little of the first book on Amazon preview as well as reader reviews. It seems the content is explicit and "deviant" by traditional moral precepts, so it surprises me that Rice cannot use a more lascivious word for the female anatomy.

I put quotes around the word deviant as what is deviant is very subjective. I believe with the right partner a woman (or a man) would surrender herself to many pleasures. If the right man were willing to bleed for me, to show me his heart as he has not shown anyone else, then I would be the extreme intense passionate lover who would adore him through eternity.

The plot of these books would not work for me as there is no love between them, nor a happy ending. I'd at least need to see a reformation, or transformation, of what begins as a sadistic relationship into one consumed by love.

[BayougirlMrsS 3,934]

lol.... it is very graphic and explicit... that's for sure. Like i said.. deff. not for everyone. I'm one of those that will read anything that grabs my attention. Some of my favorite authors: Tracy Peterson, Judith Miller, Deeanne Gist (these three i would say they write Historical Christian Fiction) (They are fiction with pieces of History thrown in), Karen Kingsbury (Redemption Series), JR Ward (Blackdagger Brotherhood), Patricia Cornwell (Scarpetta Series), Nora Roberts (too many to write),.... I use to read a lot of Danielle Steel, but she got boring too me.

Anywwho... those are just a few that i always wait with anticipation for the newest book and then devour it in one night... Then i pissed because now i have to wait again.

[My Bariatric Life 764]

@bayougirlmrsc graphic and explicit are what I'd want, but there has to be an emotional bond based on love. This woman is sexually abused throughout the series, at least according to the synopsis of the reviews I read. I believe Rice is coming out with a 4th book in the series. Perhaps it will have a happy ending?

There seem to be two genres, erotica and romance. I think merging the two to create stories that are graphic and explicit sexual relationships based on a love so deep that people would be envious, would sell volumes. Isn't that the ultimate relationship that people want?

I read quite a bit but not much of it is fiction. If I do go for fiction it is probably a short story.

[BayougirlMrsS 3,934]

have you read any of the Blackdagger brotherhood trilogy? it is about vamps.... but different. hard to explain.

[lele109 16]

The book was ok..the movie was dull. I fell asleep...the 3rd book is my fav.

[My Bariatric Life 764]

@@bayougirlmrsc the last time I read a romance novel was something like 20-25 yrs ago. It was only a few books that I took out from the library. A friend of mine turned me on to the genre. By and large I read non-fiction.

[BayougirlMrsS 3,934]

I love reading. I have not always did. Just in the past 15 years or so. It relaxes me

[losing_the_band 133]

To be honest, I refuse to read the books or watch the movie. The books started as Twilight fanfiction. I refuse to read badly written fanfiction based off of badly written books and terrible movies with horrid actors. There is some amazing fanfiction out there in pretty much every genre, including BDSM, but 50 Shades of Grey is a less than mediocre example. It's embarrassing to fandom, IMO.