female only 50 shades of Grey

[pupichupi 124]

@@pupichupi how deep do they get into BDSM in the books? Because if it got too much like the real thing, at least what I know the real thing to be, that would be a turn off for me. If you read my article True Love on BariatricPal then you know I like to be dominated in the bedroom, LOL, but not degraded or treated like a slave or have a ball stuck in my mouth and my arms hoisted up behind my back and hog tied...

LMAO, they get into it but they don't get into it, like he asks her what she will and won't do and gives her a list of the things that he likes and she says no to about half of the crazy stuff, and won't be gagged but she says yes to the stuff I would find normal. I haven't read your post True Love? but I think if you like some of this stuff you would like the books!!! They have a story behind it and it's not all about BDSM, there is more to it than just that.

[pupichupi 124]

@@My Bariatric Life I also heard that Jamie Dorian was not going to do the sequels... Hmmmm. I am not sure if there is any truth to that, but I really didn't buy him as Christian. That's just me. I really liked the idea of Ian Sommerholder (sp) as Christian, and I can't get over the fact that he isn't him... KWIM?

I didn't like the actor for christian and I also heard that he wasn't going to be in the sequels that his wife wasn't happy with him doing this movie, and so he won't be doing the sequels, but as for the actors that they were considering I though Charlie Hunnam (Jax Teller from Sons Of Anarchy) He was my first choice to play christian, now HE is HOT!!!! Jamie not so much to me!!!

[kcadoret 81]

I went to see it earlier this week and myself and the rest of the theatre laughed at so many in opportune moments, when they (especially 'Christian') was trying to be serious. It was awkward, sure there were some hot scenes, and some good music pairings but honestly I'm kinda glad Jamie Dorian isn't continuing, the role and him weren't a good fit, and not just because he kept popping back into his Northern Irish accent! A great DVD rental for a comedy night with the gals I'd say.

And to repeat what other's have been saying if you can get over the writing the story line of the book is so much better and not just about sex (which is what I enjoyed about the book, and not the movie)

[My Bariatric Life 764]

@@kcadoret I called it before he smelled her panties. I so knew he was going to do that. I've read that the storyline is about compromise and accepting someone as s/he is (which is what unconditional love is and what I wrote about in my articles on BaraitricPal). Would you say that is accurate?

[My Bariatric Life 764]

On the topic of love, sex, and relationships, these are my articles on BariatricPal for anyone interested...

True Love

What Love is Not

Soul Relationships

You may find them here.

[My Bariatric Life 764]

@@pupichupi hmmm, I cannot comment on what I like sexually (not that you are asking me to do that) but I will go so far as to share this... coming out of the movie my husband asked me what I thought. And I replied that I've always wanted a playroom. He said I was weird.

Seriously, most guys would be running out to get blueprints if a woman told them that.

[pupichupi 124]

@@My Bariatric Life LMFAO, My husband went too and he didn't like the movie either, but he totally would be having blue prints made if I said I want a playroom!!! I definitely have always wanted one too, with all the sex furniture and swings and all that fun stuff, it just makes everything more interesting!!! You only have one life why not have fun in it too!!!

[My Bariatric Life 764]

@@My Bariatric Life LMFAO, My husband went too and he didn't like the movie either, but he totally would be having blue prints made if I said I want a playroom!!! I definitely have always wanted one too, with all the sex furniture and swings and all that fun stuff, it just makes everything more interesting!!! You only have one life why not have fun in it too!!!

Oh, I meant like Xbox and ping pong in my playroom.

[pupichupi 124]

Oh, I meant like Xbox and ping pong in my playroom.

LMAO, I am sure you did, that is mean a playroom full of Games not fun!!!

[SkinnyDown 409]

Just my 2c. I haven't read the books or seen the movie, no interest, for a reason. From my own experiences, men in positions of power, don't usually want to come home and be in charge. Typically most submissive males I have had contact with, have big responsibilities in their lives, especially work. Likewise, men I know who don't have a lot of control, seek it out through domination. So imo, I don't really believe the author knew much about D/s and/or BDSM to write books about it. It is, to me, an unbelievable scenario. I think it is watered down Hollywood mush for the masses to be honest. Again, just my opinion.

[My Bariatric Life 764]

Just my 2c. I haven't read the books or seen the movie, no interest, for a reason. From my own experiences, men in positions of power, don't usually want to come home and be in charge. Typically most submissive males I have had contact with, have big responsibilities in their lives, especially work. Likewise, men I know who don't have a lot of control, seek it out through domination. So imo, I don't really believe the author knew much about D/s and/or BDSM to write books about it. It is, to me, an unbelievable scenario. I think it is watered down Hollywood mush for the masses to be honest. Again, just my opinion.

I've heard this, as well, but have not experienced it for myself as I've been with the same man since I was 17yo. I did have a WLS/PS friend who was a natural femdom and the one relationship she told me about aligns with what you've said. He was a wealthy man with a lot of power and absolutely smitten with her because she would not give him whatever he wanted. She would deny him, insult him, and that made him want her even more. He offered to take her as his mistress and pay her a lump sum every month. But she denied him.

Books and movies are often not reflective of reality, but rather experiences to entertain us and let us escape. If she would have gone so accurately into the BDSM it would not appeal to most people.

[SkinnyDown 409]

I couldn't agree more, @mybariatriclife. Your friend knows, of what she speaks. I saw a very funny meme about 50 shades the other day. '50 Shades of Grey is only romantic because the guy is a billionaire. If he was living in a trailer it would be a Criminal Minds episode.' It's all a matter of perspective I suppose. lol

[My Bariatric Life 764]

@ hahaha

So are there signs to look for that might signal a guy is into being a submissive before you get involved sexually?

[Cupcake 801]

I like the books better but the movie was great, they did a nice reenactment of the book and made it tasteful. The reality is this is something that occurs more often then people want to admit, and if they were honest with themselves as well as their signifiant others then we would not have affairs and things would not be taboo. As stated above if you have two consenting adults , and they love one another what goes on in their bedroom is no one business, personal I do not see anything wrong with consenting adults who are both in agreement to experience their sexuality and sex life anyway they chose to as long as the are not hurting or taking advantage of anyone else, I say keep an open mind.

[My Bariatric Life 764]

ah, but then affairs would not be taboo, either, right?

when it comes to morality there are no universal rights and wrongs. what we judge as moral is very subjective. and societal constraints around morality are simply something someone in authority made up. i believe in autonomy.

I like the books better but the movie was great, they did a nice reenactment of the book and made it tasteful. The reality is this is something that occurs more often then people want to admit, and if they were honest with themselves as well as their signifiant others then we would not have affairs and things would not be taboo. As stated above if you have two consenting adults , and they love one another what goes on in their bedroom is no one business, personal I do not see anything wrong with consenting adults who are both in agreement to experience their sexuality and sex life anyway they chose to as long as the are not hurting or taking advantage of anyone else, I say keep an open mind.