Intimacy

[Sugar1 0]

Oh, yeah, Diane, he is too much a coward to talk to the kids with me. I told him that they overheard us and overheard him say he was moving out and t hat we should talk to them together because they have questions. His response was "they can ask me whatever questions they want, but there's no reason to sit down with them now." So, it's left up to me.

Yvonne

[Boo Boo Kitty 3]

After reading quite a few posts I just wanted to inject a male point of view.

First, let me just say that I hope everyone can experience a great relationship. For those who are having problems - I hope you can work them out.

I have been happily married for 29yrs to the most wonderful woman, we have one child (a boy) and a happy life. My wife has vertigo and for the last 6 years has been taking medication for the condition. I'm happy to say her vertigo is in check and she functions fine (back to work) but the medicine has curbed our intamacy. We have found other ways to be intimate; hugging & kissing, fondling, mutual masterbation, etc...

I have what I want, a loving spouse and good friend. Making love is great but I can satisfy myself with her by my side.

Bottom line, you can work through the issues if your willing to comunicate, communicate, communicate. Along with some comprimises.

Relationships are give & take, if your spouse is not willing to work through the issues then please seek counseling or move-on. no one should be in a loveless relationship.

Good luck to everyone

Wow Fred, I am glad you have such a great relationship!

I have to say your words are stinging in my ears. I agree with you and hope someday I can find the courage to make my life better, I am not strong enough yet.

[TheGh0st 9]

:bump2:

Haven't seen any traffic here for a while. How is everyone doing?

My hubby is trying lately. He still isn't very physically affectionate outside the bedroom but he is trying to at least be more verbal. Complimenting me a couple times a week out of the blue.

Though I'm starting to suspect part of his renewed interest may be due to the fact he seems to be acting a bit worried that I might be having an affair. He hasn't come out and said that mind you, it's just a feeling I get. The way he asks me more than once exactly where I'm going or who with. Complaining he doesn't know what I'm up to. By the way, I am not cheating. Don't even have any male friends right now that I can think of off the top of my head exept maybe his own brother (also married) 250 miles away. But I do go out 2 nights a week with some banded friends to walk. He's never met them or wanted to meet them and is usually in bed when I get home.

[Boo Boo Kitty 3]

I am still miserable. I was acqused this week of sleeping around because I didn't want to have sex, after I told him that my cysts were in flare up and I was in alot of pain. I ended up giving in later...

[green 6]

I am still miserable. I was acqused this week of sleeping around because I didn't want to have sex, after I told him that my cysts were in flare up and I was in alot of pain. I ended up giving in later...

BBK, you have every right to claim your own needs and this includes the respect which belongs to you as both a human being as well as a mate. You are likely involved in fighting for the your recognition as an individual who has her own rights and needs.

[green 6]

BBK, your body is your body. You own it. I sure do hope that you will decide to refuse to hop aboard the guilt train. And, Yah!!, it is oh so easy to hand out advice but it is not so easy to swallow this. This is why most of us find ourselves calling upon our fellow sufferers to lend us a helping paw. Some people have chosen to call this The Human Condition, eh. lol Green is inclined to find this idea as being kinda funny.

[green 6]

ARGhhhh!!!! Very bad experiences in edit land.

[valzie 0]

I too am in a loveless marriage. We have been married 15 years and my husband has been unfaithfull for several of those years finally confessing to an addiction 4 years ago. Since then I have had a hard time being with him especially when he treats me like crap during the day and all of a sudden wants me when we get in bed. However this hasnt been the case lately since he has slept on the couch (His Choice) for several months.

Since my decision in April 07 to get the lap band he has lost about 40 pounds, bought a mustang GT and has been out with his friends more than ever. My two children 6 and 3 are feeling the stress and my heart is breaking! His family is even fed up with him at this point.

And so I live day to day wondering if he will end it or will I get the courage to do it. Is it going to get better? I doubt it. As I begin to lose weight and my self-confidence grows I think he will pull away from me even more. I guess time will tell!

Valzie

[Boo Boo Kitty 3]

BBK, you have every right to claim your own needs and this includes the respect which belongs to you as both a human being as well as a mate. You are likely involved in fighting for the your recognition as an individual who has her own rights and needs.

Thanks Green, I agree. I need to fight for me.

[faithmd 14]

Yes, BBK, you do.

You are a precious, beautiful, strong woman who deserves EVERYTHING you want in life. We all do. Why can't we seem to realize this? Why are we so willing to accept less than what we deserve? I put myself into the "we" category, too.

My DH (Dear, Damned, Dufus, not sure which to choose) seems to want me to be with him more often lately (and I don't mean in the physical sense). We have a house about three hours away from where we live, and he usually goes there every weekend, he's there now for the holiday. He wants me to come up and join him. I don't want to go until Saturday afternoon, I have loads to do myself, but he sounded so sad that I wasn't coming until then. It's weird. Usually he could care less.

Hmmmm

Wonder if the weightloss is helping or hurting? I know it doesn't or hasn't made a difference in anything physical between us. But I wonder if he sees me starting to lose (I still have almost 30lbs to go before I get to where I was when I met him) and is either worried I'm going to find something else, or if he sees me finally as he did when we met 9 years ago?

[wombat712 2]

Ok - this might be a weird question. Does anyone feel their port during sex? The other night mine started popping against my ribs (very distracting and kindof painful). My port is very high just under the center of my ribs. My DH isn't small but not heavy enough to get the LB.

To all with marriage problems, you are in my prayers! I too had many issues early on in our marriage - from feeling like I married the wrong one "remembering the one that got away" for several years, had abandonment issues so I stayed emotionally unattached to protect myself, and then to him having an affair. We have since overcome all of that and are blissfully happy (16 years now). We would rather be with each other than with any one else. There is hope if both are willing; 7 years ago I would never have believed it was possible for us.

Hugs & Prayers to everyone!

Wombat

[TerriDoodle 6]

Ok - this might be a weird question. Does anyone feel their port during sex? The other night mine started popping against my ribs (very distracting and kindof painful). My port is very high just under the center of my ribs. My DH isn't small but not heavy enough to get the LB.

Same here, Wombat. DH has to make a special effort not to 'land' there....and it sounds like our ports are in the same spot.

[carol1951 0]

I wouldn't know. You have to have sex first.

[faithmd 14]

I wouldn't know. You have to have sex first.

Isn't that the truth!:think

[nume130 0]

I get a little worried about the port. My surgery is in 5 weeks and I spoke to the surgeon about it. I sleep mostly on my stomack and am worried it will bother me. We'll see. About sex bothering it - what is sex....?

Counselling is going well.