Anyone kept their procedure a secret?

[slk_chick333 5]

I struggled and still continue to struggle with who I should or should not have informed. I thought it would be important to tell all the people that I typically eat with, considering they would probably be witness to a lot of my changes around food in the near future. That being said, it is no one else's business. Tell as many or as little people as you want. When I first started telling people, I think I was looking for approval and support. I would over-analyze their reactions to try and see if they were judging me or not. I shouldn't have done that. The only opinion that matters is my own regarding my own body and thats something we all should remember. I also don't want to feel ashamed of this decision, so I think I shouldn't turn it into this "big bad secret" or else I will always be afraid of what people may think. It's a fact, I had gastric sleeve surgery. And it was and still remains to be the BIGGEST and HARDEST decision I ever made in my life. I am my own worst critic and that is ENOUGH. So, the people who know, know. And the people who don't, won't. Either way I'm going to be living my new healthy life with or without their support. Thank you for your post, it gave me a reason to express my feelings on this issue as well.

I hope you find peace today.

~S

[middlebeaver 10]

Speaking from experience, I wouldn't tell anyone other than close friends and family. Trust me, after a year or two passes and you gain 10 lbs or so back, which is pretty typical, a lot of people will talk behind your back talking about how you "failed" because you gained weight. The truth is no one is educated about wls unless you have it, but yet, everyone has an opinion about people who they have know what had it done and "gained everything back". I'm speaking of my co workers.

[NewAdventure2016 131]

Speaking from experience, I wouldn't tell anyone other than close friends and family. Trust me, after a year or two passes and you gain 10 lbs or so back, which is pretty typical, a lot of people will talk behind your back talking about how you "failed" because you gained weight. The truth is no one is educated about wls unless you have it, but yet, everyone has an opinion about people who they have know what had it done and "gained everything back". I'm speaking of my co workers.

Excellent point! Thanks!

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[GSleeve822 394]

I told my family and close friends, but no one at work. It does sometimes feel bad when people ask how I'm losing weight so fast and I have to make it seem like I'm a super hero or something lol.. but I def don't regret not telling them. Don't feel like you have to tell anyone, but at least a friend or someone in your family would probably be good so you don't feel alone!

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[ChocolateDropp7 45]

I'm not telling ANYONE. I have to have a hiatal hernia repaired at the same time so that's all anyone will ever know. I've only been at my job for a few months so I don't know my coworkers that well. It is what it is.

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[reducer623 137]

Yup! I've only told my husband & immediately family. It's really no one else's business. Share if you feel comfortable & if not, don't feel obligated. Your choice

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[reducer623 137]

I'm not telling ANYONE. I have to have a hiatal hernia repaired at the same time so that's all anyone will ever know. I've only been at my job for a few months so I don't know my coworkers that well. It is what it is.

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Same here. I had a hiatal hernia as well & have done the same thing.

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[ChocolateDropp7 45]

I'm not telling ANYONE. I have to have a hiatal hernia repaired at the same time so that's all anyone will ever know. I've only been at my job for a few months so I don't know my coworkers that well. It is what it is.

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Same here. I had a hiatal hernia as well & have done the same thing.

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How was your recovery?

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[reducer623 137]

@@ChocolateDropp7 the recovery has been great! The only complaint I have is that heavier food seems to get stuck or something which makes me a tad uncomfortable so I mostly stick to softer foods.

How has your recovery been?

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[ChocolateDropp7 45]

@@ChocolateDropp7 the recovery has been great! The only complaint I have is that heavier food seems to get stuck or something which makes me a tad uncomfortable so I mostly stick to softer foods.

How has your recovery been?

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We shall see.... My file is going to BCBS tomorrow for review. They've told me it could be done by early September. My food is beginning to get stuck now so hopefully that will improve. How long has it been for you?

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[Jenn-naySeveNiner 1]

I am 2 days away from my gastric bypass surgery. I have struggled with this myself with who to tell or not outside of my immediate family. At this point, I have told very very few people so 4 of my closest friends and my parents at this point. I asked them to respect my decision and privacy in this matter because its a personal struggle I've dealt with my entire life. They were all surprised I decided to go this route cause I've never made this an issue. They have all been so supportive and Im blessed to have them help me through this. Made the mistake of telling my in-laws and heard their opinions and made me feel bad about my decision. As far as work goes, they have no clue except I am taking a month off for sick leave.

Its all about who you want to share this with. Tell as many or as few of them. I realize people are going to talk no matter what and have their opinions.

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[ahappycamper 81]

I'm still pre-op for the sleeve, likely to have it done in mid-late October. I've told some people, but compared to how large my family is...it feels like very few people.

The only reason I told the ones I did was because two other relatives, one as recently as December 2015, have had WLS before me. I live with one set of grandparents and told them -- my grandmother was the one who had her sleeve done in December and inspired me to get mine done. I also told my uncle and his wife (he's more like my older brother), one distant cousin I never see and can keep a secret, and one local friend. This was far more people than I initially intended to tell.

I've been obese since I was a kid, my highest weight being 340-something at 5'5".

More than likely, I'm sure the reality is that most of my family would be supportive. Perhaps not actively supportive, but supportive in their response to my telling them. However, much of my family gossips. There is a certain group of them that is VERY appearance focused and obsessed with weight. I don't know if they would think I was taking the easy way out, and I don't care about that so much. On the other hand, I don't believe that anyone has the right to comment on anyone else's body. My body isn't their business. Furthermore, I am not looking forward to their reactions once they do finally see me after having lost a lot of weight. They associate thinness with beauty and fatness with a lack of beauty. Never have they fawned over my appearance or told me I was beautiful before, which is ridiculous because I am. I am fat AND beautiful and to them, those cannot co-exist. I am dreading the compliments, honestly. Their interest in going out with me, in buying me gifts of clothing will increase, etc. all because I will be thin. They will tell me how great I look and how beautiful I am, and I think it will only make me angry they didn't feel I deserved to hear those things all along. My value as a member of that part of the family will increase only because I will be thin, and that insults me to no end.

So, considering how messed up of them that is, I am putting off telling them until I see them sometime next year. I don't imagine I will lie to them about the surgery; if they ask I'll be honest, but it isn't something I'm interested in dealing with now.

As far as co-workers, fellow classmates (I went back to school to change career paths recently), and other acquaintances, I'll use my discretion. I'm a very private person, so I don't plan on telling anyone else except maybe my actual brother. He can't really keep a secret, though, so that's still up in the air.

All that said, ironically, I've considered starting a blog pre-op to keep track of everything that happens, my progress, my emotional state. I'm perfectly fine telling total strangers online, but have no interest in telling my family, haha!

At the end of the day, it has to be a personal choice for each of us. There's no wrong or right way to do this. Telling everyone, only some, or no one at all are all valid choices and no one else can make that choice for us.

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[onedeterminedchick 118]

I told only one close friend of mine. He is very supportive with my decision. I feel like his ears are going to fall off the side of his head as much as I have talked about it!! [emoji1] [emoji15] OMG!! I want to keep it a secret because I have my mind set on this...excited & doing it for myself and I don't have time for everyone's opinion, questions and some negativity! If I thought about Uber before I told him, he probably would not know lol but I think everyone need at lease one person to have that listening ear & support!

[abarker225 0]

I am going to. It's no ones business but mine. People are so mean.

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[nannare 38]

I tried to keep mine a secret, just because if something happened and I didn't get, I didn't want people asking why. My daughter started asking for prayers so people started finding out. Afterwards I told a few people and I figured the town gossip would do the rest. My husband didn't want me telling anybody. I have no idea why. I'm excited and don't mind people knowing about it.

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