Anyone kept their procedure a secret?

[Connor Martin Lidell 1]

This is my philosophy. Let the people who care about you most know. Specifically, where it's reciprocal. For me, this is my godparents (one got the procedure, the other is getting it in June), my best friend/sexual partner, and soon my parents. Just a small group. They will help support me during the surgical procedure.

Then, I'm going to let the action speak for itself. People will ask questions, and I will tell them.

I won't lie. But, I'm not going to shout it out either.

[jersey_girl_86 61]

I am having my surgery April 20th God Willing. The only person that knows is my mother. My husband will not be supportive of it. When someone in our community got it done there was a lot of negative talk about her so I plan on keeping it to myself. This is something I am doing for myself, I need to work on ME and my health and life so I don't feel bad at all for not telling anyone except my mother!

[Kiba 47]

I personally told my immediate family about it but kept everyone else out of the loop (I had a hernia repair so that was what I told them.) It isn't so much the shame that caused me to do this, it's the fact that most people, in addition to judgement seem really uneducated about WLS. Most people assume it's the easy way out, and I may only be 3 weeks post-op, but it has been one of the hardest journeys I have ever been through. You need strong support from people who understand what you're getting yourself into.

[coleenrenee 66]

I told a few ppl my closest friend, godmother and husband of course my children they are young.. My immediate family no. I have a few family members who have always complained about my weight and I frankly think it's none of their business.. I just want to work hard and live my life without judgement. About 5 ppl in total know. April 23 is my date. I told my manager I was going on vacation lol

[Jkapp923 10]

You do you! I know a lot of people who are announcing it on their Facebook and such and that is fine and dandy for them. I am not ashamed of my decision or anything like that, I just feel that it is no ones business but my own. I personally think that whether you tell 1 person or 100 people. The only person you need to worry about is yourself.Our society, and very much so, our age group is all about telling the whole world our business and I find that a bigger hassle because these people who you might be "friends" with will chose that time to tell you how they feel about you life choices when they cannot be bothered to talk to you at any other time.

[HighHeelShoes 77]

I honestly have no idea how people keep it quiet. I mean, at my new job, I didn't tell anyone, but thats because no one knew me before-but there are so many times when I set a timer and can't eat and drink at the same time and unless I lie or fabricate an illness or digestive problem, people always ask and wonder why I eat 4 1/2 bites of food or have to sit and wait to eat when hot food comes out. You have to get over the "cheating" thing-for me, its really a fear that Others will think that I cheated, not that I think I have. After you go through it, you'll realize it isn't cheating at all. You made a harder decision than any dieter, one that forces you to make the right choice All The Time. A commitment to Never cheat again, really. F the naysayers. Not everyone is wired the same way and you firmly chose a solution that will change your life. You'd be cheating yourself if you went through your thirties obese and miserable and never experiencing the freedom you could have had...and you'd always wonder and regret not doing it. I realized that I was tired of wasting time and missing out. I Could Not Be Happier. But I think it is obvious-at least to those with whom I am close. If you do manage to keep it secret, let me know. I don't know how people would do it without lying.

Edited April 12, 2015 by HighHeelShoes

[Elle1906 12]

The only people that know for me are my brothers and dad (had to explain exactly what it was as they didn't know and my bro was like "is this a diet thing?" And once I explained what it did and it was permanent.. He understood and was extremely supportive) and my mum knows as we did it together which made it easier.

I didn't think anyone else needed to know, and a lot of them would've said something negative or unsupportive so that's why I kept it quiet

[lex8701 15]

I haven't told anybody except my mom and sister. I told one friend and that's only because she got gastric bypass and I ask her for in sight.. I feel like I'm going to be judged for having my surgery. I'm doing it for myself but I'm young I don't want to be the talk of the town either. How are you handling your situation?

[KIM10 4]

I am having surgery on May 7th I have told my parents and husband because they are supporting me having surgery because they see how it could benefit me

But I can't tell everyone else mainly because everyone in my family are all naturally slim and my friends don't get that food is a coping mechanism for me and my fat is my shield also I don't want them to know why food is such an issue because I was attacked and I don't want to tell the truth about it

I have been slim and hugely fat and I found that if you have a weight problem you tend to be treated lesser than which is kinda ironic

[FatboyNYC 26]

I haven't told anybody except my mom and sister. I told one friend and that's only because she got gastric bypass and I ask her for in sight.. I feel like I'm going to be judged for having my surgery. I'm doing it for myself but I'm young I don't want to be the talk of the town either. How are you handling your situation?

well so far so good, I've gotten my surgery done last month and not one person knows besides my mom and brother. my friends and family has noticed the weight loss and i tell them i just drink Protein as a Meal Replacement and thats the end of that conversation. if i was to tell them truth, it'll be a whole different judgmental conversation which I'm not interested in.

[Jkapp923 10]

I only have my family who knows. We have a family friend and she knows but only because my mom brought up the topic initially when we were out wine tasting and then a month later I had a surgery. She put two and two together but knows that I don't want people to know.

[Jewelgirl04 106]

I told my parents, grandmother, aunt and uncle, and my sister. I also told my four closest friends. That was it.

I didn't want to deal with the judgment or the questions. It's also my personal decision.

I don't know that I'll ever tell anyone else, outside of people I meet (like a new coworker) who have had the surgery and tell me they have. But there's nothing wrong in keeping it to yourself.

[pamzie85 7]

Ditto is all I can say.

Your not alone in keeping it quiet. I feel like people will judge, especially cause they don't understand the journey.

Everyone seems to think it's the easy way out when in fact it's just a tool to help us and it still requires hard work! I'm having mine done on 26th may. Less than 24 hours ????. Hope it all works out for you.

[whisper43 45]

I'm having my surgery in a couple of months and I am concerned how I will explain the food choices to people whom I do not feel comfortable telling. i.e. my partners very overwhelming, very intense family.

They are incredibly judging and I really don't want all the questions and whispers.... Considering my surgery is in November and I will be spending Christmas with them...

Is it incredibly lame to make an excuse like stomach ulcers? Has anyone else used an excuse to ward off questions and avoid telling the truth...

[FatboyNYC 26]

yea my friends and family are extremely judgmental and i have yet to tell anyone but my brother and mother. i was lucky i did my surgery in march so there weren't any big holidays. my go to excuse would be "i ate already" and if i did have to eat, i would always grab a handful of food and say "i wasn't that hungry"

Good Luck!

5 months down, 90lbs lighter!