At what age would you have Weight Loss Surgery (WLS) if you had a do-over?

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

And would you give the same answer about your own child?

(In Linda Richman's voice:) "Discuss amongst yourselves."

[ProjectMe 909]

Honestly...if I had it to do all over again..the same age. I don't know about some people, but I had to go through some stuff before I reached the decision that WLS was needed to extend my life. I wouldn't change any part of my journey to WLS because those experiences have made me the person I am today.

Regarding my kids...I'm torn. On the one hand I don't want my kids to experience the emotional & physical pain I went through being obese. On the other hand those same experiences will make them stronger and more ready to have surgery and handle the consequences of PostOp. I guess it comes down to...I'd support whatever decision makes them happy.

Edited February 21, 2015 by ProjectMe

[MichiganChic 3,262]

I was 50, and if the sleeve had been an option with the same risk level as it is now, I wish I could have done it in my late twenties when I became morbidly obese and just couldn't get the weight off. I considered RNY in my 30's, but the risk factor was much higher, and involved a huge incision, so I opted not to do that. So, I had the right surgery for me and the earliest opportunity.

As for my child, I have supported my 26 year old daughter as she had the sleeve. I did not encourage her to seek WLS, but once she decided it was the way she wanted to go, I was OK with it. She has been overweight most of her life, and no amount of diet and exercise was successful. I've seen her struggle, and I believe the benefit is worth the risk for her. She's got a great husband, baby, and wonderful life ahead of her, and I want her to be able to enjoy it. Morbid obesity robbed me of so much as my children were growing up.

I have another daughter who is 23, and I would not support her if she decided to have WLS. She has mentioned it and I have discouraged her. Her BMI is not as high, and she can lose weight if she tries. She doesn't have any associated problems.

So, for me, the benefit has to outweigh the risk, and I do not want my children to have WLS unless there really is no other option.

[gowalking 10,790]

I also think that I had to reach rock bottom in order to take control of my food intake. I am hoping that because I went through such difficult times, I will always be hyper aware of how much I am in the world again. I think in my case, everything happens for a reason including when I got the WLS.

[Sharpie 3,306]

not sure I would have taken the wls route years ago but I was not obese until my 50's. after menopause and I quit smoking I gained 50 lbs fast never could get it off and just kept gaining until I got to 200 lbs .. Since I developed diabetes, high blood pressure and high cholsterol I made the decision and I am extremely happy I took the leap.

[shugal 48]

The same age as I am now 47 and not then (few yrs back).*just learned how to use it now, long story* Seriously. I have it so I can be healthy, so I can re learn Portion Control, eat healthy and give myself a new lease on life. I am old enough to understand all of it, risks rewards and so on. Old enough to have the will power to use my lap band correctly and to know there will be ups and downs and bumps in the road but that I can and will persevere and win

[shugal 48]

not sure I would have taken the wls route years ago but I was not obese until my 50's. after menopause and I quit smoking I gained 50 lbs fast never could get it off and just kept gaining until I got to 200 lbs .. Since I developed diabetes, high blood pressure and high cholsterol I made the decision and I am extremely happy I took the leap.

I quit smoking and gained like 80 lbs!! so I hear you!! and like you I was not obese until the past few years

[Trace Lynne 95]

That is a difficult question to respond to. I mean, I didn't start putting on a lot of weight until after I finished college. I seriously considered WLS in 2007, when I weighed about 260-270lbs. I made it through three months of the 6 month liquid diet program, and I was ready to kill someone. I was advised by my therapist to stop, because the 600 cal/day program affected my job and relationships.

Since then, I put on another 100 lbs before I decided to move forward with WLS. Nothing I tried helped me to lose weight. However, if I would've been introduced to someone like the trainer I started working with before I actually had surgery back in 2007, I'm convinced I would not have needed the surgery to begin with. Working out with my trainer, I lost about 40 lbs in less than 2 months before I even went in for surgery.

However, there were still things I needed to go through emotionally before I was ready to fix myself. I spent about 5 years in therapy before I was in the right mind-set.

So, I guess to answer this question: on the one level, if I had proper trainer work in my early 20s, I could've avoided the massive weight gain all together. However, I still had things to work on to stop the patterns that caused me to gain the weight I gained. ... Also, if I would not have gone on birth control in college, I probably would have avoided quite a bit of the weight gain.

[joatsaint 2,814]

I've been overweight since childhood. I'd have done it between 25 and 30... when I crossed the 250lb mark.

[Band Aid mom 64]

I considered having it 10 years ago but decided to try it on my own- and lost 60 pounds. Slowly that has crept back and then some. I decided to give it another try and no luck at all, so here I am one week post op. So I guess now was my time.

My youngest daughter wanted to have lapband 3 years ago (she was 22) but I discouraged her because she was not ready to make the commitment that was needed and I was very worried for her health and safety with that mindset. Now she is in a place that she is fully aware of what it will take and has the desire to make it work. Both her and her sister (26 yrs old) had surgery on the same day as me. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and doors of opportunity open when they are supposed to, so I guess my answer is, I would not have changed a thing. I think this was perfect timing for all of us so we could support and encourage each other through this. Well, maybe there is one thing I would change and that would be these darned genetics that gave us such crummy metabolism!

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

OP here. I feel like decades were lost. I was morbidly obese in my twenties, overweight but a size ten for twenty minutes at age 29, obese in my thirties and morbidly obese in my forties and into my fifties.

I was the fat mom. I couldn't ride the rollercoasters with my preteens or walk the college campus tours with them as prospective freshmen.

Physical intimacy in my marriage suffered for many years. My self esteem plummeted and I adapted to an unhealthy relationship with my husband because I didn't value myself.

I stopped socializing, exercising, speaking up for myself, taking chances. I didn't go for promotions at work or change jobs because I didn't have confidence.

My health got worse over the years. I had sleep apnea, disc problems in my back, arthritis in my knees and other joints, uncontrollable high blood pressure, high cholesterol, GERD, Migraines, hemorrhoids, bronchitis every time the weather got cold, and took a dozen pills a day.

If I had it to do over, I would have sought out and had surgery (maybe bypass because LapBand wasn't well known) at age 40 instead of 53. Losing and keeping the weight off back then could have changed so much for me.

Now if my daughters were obese (they are not) what would I say?

That is much harder to answer. I feel like WLS is very extreme and not for those who have their head in the clouds. It depends on their outlook and circumstances. If my child was depressed and limiting her life, if she tried and failed to keep off significant excess weight more than once, I think I would want her to have WLS at a younger age than I did. How young? That's a tough one. Probably not before thirty, but I really can't say for sure. Earlier if her health was at significant risk.

I posted this because I often read (and have said) "my only regret is not doing this years ago". Very true for me. But then I saw a post yesterday about children and our feelings about them having WLS at a young age.

Please keep posting. I'm interested in everyone's perspective.

Edited February 21, 2015 by JustWatchMe

[Bandista 7,466]

I gained a chunk of weight quite suddenly at age thirty -- a prednisone incident followed by severe dieting only to gain more, then more over the years. If I could roll back the clock and have my band then I would do it in a heartbeat. Of course it wasnt available then and I feel like the technology now, laparoscopic surgery, the support I get from a web-based forum -- all of this is a product of the here and now. But oh, if I could have avoided the pain and embarrassment of my weight issues and all the struggles that ensued, I would have done it at the onset. I am 53 now and loving getting dressed in fun clothes and having the energy to really live.

[Band Aid mom 64]

I think my point of view on surgery for my children changed when my youngest started having health issues this past year due to obesity. She has had a rough road in her twenties. At 21 she was a pedestrian hit by a car going 25 mph. The doctor told us the only thing that saved her life was being overweight when it happened. She was laid up for about 6 months and the weight just packed on more due to depression and not moving much for that long.

Both girls are much heavier than me and years of dieting/exercise has never had a lasting effect. I want them to get a handle on this now so they are not plagued with health issues that can cause them permanent damage down the road. Ultimately they are adults and made their own decisions, but I felt at this time, I could support their decisions wholeheartedly.

[Djmohr 6,965]

For me, I absolutely wish I would have done this a lot sooner. I of course like others waited until I had many comorbidities. I am 51 now and wish I would have gone through the process in my 30s. I feel like I gave up so much of my youth with this disease. I had no real idea of how much better my life would be post surgery.

As far as my child goes, if they were obese and they are not, I would support them in their choices. I don't think I would suggest it only because I feel like it takes a lot for a person to get to the point where they truly understand the damage. You have to get there yourself.

For me it was a doctor telling me I was headed for kidney dialysis if I did not do something soon. Yes, I actually damaged my kidneys. The good news is in less than 5 short months all of my labs are normal.

Why wouldn't I want to do this sooner?!

[PuraVida37 715]

Great question!! I would have done it in my early 20s. I lost so much time and quality by making the wrong choices and giving in to my food addiction. However, I wouldn't have had the insurance coverage, nor the emotional support--my mom (who died from fatty liver disease) was very against bariatric surgery, even though she would have benefited from it and would probably be alive today if she had had it.

If my child were very obese, I'd try to get the very best care for her before considering surgery. To me, it's a last resort. Knowing what I know now, I COULD do this on my own. It would be extremely hard. though. I could exercise and eat better, but the band sure made it a LOT easier. I'm grateful for the tool.