When a friend isn't supportive.

[ambwolfe 20]

One of my best friends freaked when I told her I was planning on getting a sleeve. She told me it is the "easy" way out. My husband thinks she's just scared that I'll get smaller than her. How have any of you handled unkind "friends"?

[Pepper123 320]

I did not tell one of my best mates..When she saw me she freaked and said "don't get too skinny" so i just said hhmmmmm well am getting healthy for me!!!

[sweetie716 270]

It is really big news to tell someone. Is there any chance she'll come around once she's had time to let the shock wear off? Her reaction could be due to all kinds of things, like stories she's heard about wls, concern for how you'll come through (which I'm sure will be great), and there could be some jealousy issues as well. I'd give her a minute and see where she is next time you talk. I'd give her the benefit of the doubt, hold off on getting upset with her until you know how she really feels. If she still clings to her beliefs about wls you'll have to evaluate if you can just steer clear of the topic or if it something that will make it difficult to maintain the friendship. I hope that everything smooths out for you two!

[ambwolfe 20]

That's how I feel. I just want to get healthy

[ambwolfe 20]

It is really big news to tell someone. Is there any chance she'll come around once she's had time to let the shock wear off? Her reaction could be due to all kinds of things, like stories she's heard about wls, concern for how you'll come through (which I'm sure will be great), and there could be some jealousy issues as well. I'd give her a minute and see where she is next time you talk. I'd give her the benefit of the doubt, hold off on getting upset with her until you know how she really feels. If she still clings to her beliefs about wls you'll have to evaluate if you can just steer clear of the topic or if it something that will make it difficult to maintain the friendship. I hope that everything smooths out for you two!

She really didn't say anything about health issues. She just said "that's the easy way out. I would never put my body through an unnecessary surgery". After that she said she would support me if I do it. It was just a hard thing to hear from someone I thought would be more supportive.

[blondebomb 580]

sorry your going thru this. I told 2 ppl an my hubs. the 2 I told did support me one said you cant never lose too much weight! haha..the other shes supportive I told her if I didnt have this done which 2 of my drs sent me to my surgeon I have hashis an many other dx's but I told her if I didnt I was going to end up 400 pds an not leaving the house with NO life! I was already reaching 270 or 20 an I had put on 40 pds within a matter of 2 months or so. this comment that your friend made is a uneducational comment. they have NO clue how hard this is an how brave an courageous it takes to go thru this to get healthy when all other ways have failed over well with me its been 30 yrs plus! I personally avoid the topic myself with everyone! me an the hubs only talks about it here in the house. otherwise my answer to when someone asks me how much Iv lost I say "a 5th grader"! I am not stressing on numbers. when they ask how much or far Im going down I say "when my body stops it stops"...its no one elses business an its my struggles. give her some time. its prbly more of a jealous statement then anything. thats my guess. I didnt tell other family or other friends for the fact its hard enough emotionaly goin thru this ourself. didnt need other neg comments...anymore I just ignor others an smile an say getting healthy an getting my life back! hang in there!

[ambwolfe 20]

Thank you @@blondebomb

[Ourlifecomplete 17]

That really sucks! My mom actually said about the same thing when I told her I was thinking about it. Then I explained all of the benefits the surgery would have and It is no different then asking for my tubes tied! Which I dont have done either but you get the point. I am lucky my best friend is actually having the surgery first and is how I even found out about it! I hope I was supportive when she first told me, I think I was more curious though lol. Good Luck, and Just remember that you have to come first and if anyone doesn't like the fact that your making your health your priority then forget them!

[mandyboo 21]

My best friend was horrible - told me I'd die if I have it done :-( I've not spoke to her since. And I've not told anyone else. My surgery is Friday :-)

[ambwolfe 20]

My best friend was horrible - told me I'd die if I have it done :-( I've not spoke to her since. And I've not told anyone else. My surgery is Friday :-)

I can't believe someone would say that! I'm going to send you all the good vibes for your surgery Friday????

[Ourlifecomplete 17]

WOW Mandyboo I would have stopped talking to her too! Its one thing to show concern another to simply be a biotch.

[alwaysvegas 702]

I can't say anyone who talked like that to me would be my 'best' friend any longer. Maintaining a healthy lifestyle requires a lifetime of positive support. I would tell that friend that if they cannot be supportive, then you will seek support elsewhere.

Edited February 21, 2015 by AlwaysVegas