Coworkers talking.. "she had something done"

[jackie's journey 18]

So it seems my quiet shy nature and my desire to remain private have come to bite me in the bottom.

I decided to keep my surgery private when it comes to the workplace.

Suddenly I'm being attacked with: you obviously did something! What did you do? I stare like a deer in headlights. I've made it obvious I'm a private person. Why are they doing this? They are now going to my supervisor and asking same thing.

This really hurts me. Doesn't anyone respect privacy any more?

[leag78 469]

I empathize with your situation. I'd ignore the ignorance in the workplace, because it's none of their business what you did. You shouldn't have to explain to no one, and your supervisor would be wrong to tell them. Just keep up the good work and stay focus and remember that haters are gonna hate unfortunately. Stay beautiful!!!

[aelovelady 243]

You should tell them it is none of their business and talk with your supervisor. They have no right, legally to answer any question about you. It is information covered by the Privacy Act!

[kyrickchick64 468]

Go to human resources or the owner depending on what kind of business you work at and complain they are harassing you. If they don't do anything(and it gets unbearable) get a cease and desist from a lawyer. Your employer does not want that kind of trouble

[foodfighter78 258]

I had to tell my supervisor, but I ask to not tell all my coworkers. She thinks I should tell them. She said: either way people will talk... And then she said: I think you shouldn't take this surgery so lightly. I told her it's been years that I study. And talk to doctors. And about 1 yrs preop appointments.

[Pepper123 320]

Oh wow!!!..this is incredible why should u be made to feel this way this is your private matter…You should not have to tell anyone including your supervisor….A male on my job asked if i had weight loss surgery, i just looked at him and said were u the surgeon and if i did or did not mind your *****manners!!!

[Inizio 32]

I didn't say anything to my co-workers either and now people are noticing my weight loss (28 lbs so far). I don't want to talk about it at work and I'm cringing at the thought of people asking questions.

[Lissapmkn1 41]

First, let me say, it isn't anyone's business but yours. If your boss says anything to anyone, it is a violation of the HIPPA law.

As for your bosses advice to tell them, remind your boss politely that it his/her opinion is appreciated but not warranted as this is your health history and your private medical information.

As for your colleagues who are noticing a change, if you don't want to tell them HOW you are losing weight, but know they will keep asking until you tell them something (because you can't get them off your back) do what I did!

I told them that I am exercising (which you are) and eating a high Protein diet with limited natural carbs -PALEO of sorts (which you are). I tell them I gave up white sugar, refined and processed carbs and food, (causes me to dump which they don't need to know) and I stay away from dairy (high fat makes me dump and I am lactose intolerant)/]. You aren't lying, you've thrown them a bone and who cares what they really think. I lost 33 pounds on the Protein drinks BEFORE I had any surgery. That's the God's truth!

They are not privileged to know your medical history and it will keep them off your back. Alienating them by not saying anything will be frustrating for you, especially if they are persistent, but they DON"T get to know anything you don't want them to know.

PS. IF your boss says anything, it's a lawsuit in the making and you will win.

Let me know what you decide to do! We support you!

[GingerLeAnna 14]

Just let them talk. Before you know it, you will be smaller and people will forget you ever were bigger. Just try to keep your compsure. People are jealous of the results you have worked for. They will find any reason to try and cheapen your results. Just stay focused on who you are doing this for. And wait for the day that it is old news.

[SugarFreeMe 293]

Handle it straight away and head on, avoiding the questions will only lead to more speculation, more whispers and more talking. Try this:

"Thank you for noticing and asking. You're correct, I have done something, I took control of my life and health, something that isn't easy, but I'm determined. It's nice to know that my hard work is showing. I am however uncomfortable talking with anyone about it with the exception of those closest to me like my family. Thank you for your understanding."

Flash your biggest, brightest smile and walk away. If you're confident in your deliver, they won't have reason to question you again. If they continue talking about you behind your back, talk with a manager or HR. Don't let them undermine your hard work though.

[esskay77 785]

@@SugarFreeMe has it right! No matter what, people are going to notice and the next logical step is to ask about it. It's actually a compliment. Yes, you do have a right to your privacy but they are going to ask.

When I went to my orientation, the doctors were very adamant that we understand that people are going to notice and ask. They also said that most people will assume you are sick, so sometimes it is best to address it. However, that is a personal decision.

You don't have to tell people that you had surgery. If they ask how you are doing it, be vague, with a smile. As mentioned above, you can say that you are very focused, started exercising and eating differently. And you are.

But don't assume these people are trying to be mean--it's really just natural curiousity mixed with a little social awkwardness in how to ask you about it. It's all in how you frame everything. I'd be more insulted if they didn't say anything! lol.

Compose your thoughts and have a nice but short answer that you can have ready for whenever anybody asks you about it. That way you don't have to try to think of an answer in the moment. If you have several prepared answers, it will make this so much easier!

Best of luck and congratulations on your journey (if you don't mind me saying that).

[Cupcake 801]

I agree with the above statements you do not owe anyone anything its none of their business, I would simply tell them all my personal life is just mine personal and if they can not be happy for you wanting to be healthy and making healthier eating choices thats their problem, but if they make any additional comments that you will file harassment claim. Hold your head high and tell the haters off.

[sassy14 178]

I am very private and really don't like all the attention. I had surgery two years ago, lost 136 lbs so I really look different. From the beginning, I told everyone (except two coworkers who are friends) that I was working with a doctor to get healthy. It's true and so far no one has asked me the doctor's name!

[coastalchick 61]

Being secretive makes it worse and will only make them more curious. You made a decision to change your life with this surgery, just own it.

[1981love 1]

I am on pre op diet and a month out and this board could have been written by me. I feel I have failed at so many diets that I don't want to share this journey with co workers and only my closest family and friends will know. Some have already noticed that I have lost weight and my reply is "I have made some lifestyle changes" no more sugar or sodas and I am going to the gym on a regular basis that seems to do the trick