The guilt of not telling

[Slimsoon1988 123]

The guilt of not telling my grandma is really getting to me. My mom passed away 2 years ago and we are basically all the family we got. My grandma has health issues of her own and I do not want to burden her with this surgery. My surgery is next week Wednesday, we talk every other day and as my surgery gets closer the guilt grows. We just talked on the phone and she sensed something was wrong, she kept asking what's the problem, and of course I said oh nothing. I really don't want to tell her because I know she wouldn't agree with it and will worry herself sick over me. I just had a full meltdown. I just don't want anything to happen to me in surgery. Ugh

[smkybear 1]

I choose not to tell anyone other than my partner, therapist and PCP. She does not need to worry but you need to get to place of being ok with not telling her until after surgery. Do you have someone to be with you at the hospital it does help. If you worry too much you could always call her this night before and maybe just a one or two night will not tip her off to what is going on. You will have to tell her at some point you know how Granny's can be - they see you getting smaller - how are you going to handle it later? Do you have a hernia that is being repaired during surgery? You could tell her that is what you are having done for now so she will not worry too much. Deep breaths - this is for you and your health nd she will love you no mater what <3 - hang in there!!

[Elizabeth21 176]

I had this problem with my mother. I told her I was having hernia repair surgery. Once she notices weight loss I will tell her I'm on a high protein/low carb diet and exercising.

Don't feel guilty for taking care of yourself. Taking care includes your emotional wellness. If you feel complete honesty will simply stir up conflict, as it would for me, then you absolutely have the right to keep this choice to yourself.

Good luck!