Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

The guilt of not telling



Recommended Posts

The guilt of not telling my grandma is really getting to me. My mom passed away 2 years ago and we are basically all the family we got. My grandma has health issues of her own and I do not want to burden her with this surgery. My surgery is next week Wednesday, we talk every other day and as my surgery gets closer the guilt grows. We just talked on the phone and she sensed something was wrong, she kept asking what's the problem, and of course I said oh nothing. I really don't want to tell her because I know she wouldn't agree with it and will worry herself sick over me. I just had a full meltdown. I just don't want anything to happen to me in surgery. Ugh :(

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I choose not to tell anyone other than my partner, therapist and PCP. She does not need to worry but you need to get to place of being ok with not telling her until after surgery. Do you have someone to be with you at the hospital it does help. If you worry too much you could always call her this night before and maybe just a one or two night will not tip her off to what is going on. You will have to tell her at some point you know how Granny's can be - they see you getting smaller - how are you going to handle it later? Do you have a hernia that is being repaired during surgery? You could tell her that is what you are having done for now so she will not worry too much. Deep breaths - this is for you and your health nd she will love you no mater what <3 - hang in there!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I had this problem with my mother. I told her I was having hernia repair surgery. Once she notices weight loss I will tell her I'm on a high protein/low carb diet and exercising.

Don't feel guilty for taking care of yourself. Taking care includes your emotional wellness. If you feel complete honesty will simply stir up conflict, as it would for me, then you absolutely have the right to keep this choice to yourself.

Good luck!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • cryoder22

      Day 1 of pre-op liquid diet (3 weeks) and I'm having a hard time already. I feel hungry and just want to eat. I got the protein and supplements recommend by my program and having a hard time getting 1 down. My doctor / nutritionist has me on the following:
      1 protein shake (bariatric advantage chocolate) with 8 oz of fat free milk 1 snack = 1 unjury protein shake (root beer) 1 protein shake (bariatric advantage orange cream) 1 snack = 1 unjury protein bar 1 protein shake (bariatric advantace orange cream or chocolate) 1 snack = 1 unjury protein soup (chicken) 3 servings of sugar free jello and popsicles throughout the day. 64 oz of water (I have flavor packets). Hot tea and coffee with splenda has been approved as well. Does anyone recommend anything for the next 3 weeks?
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        All I can tell you is that for me, it got easier after the first week. The hunger pains got less intense and I kind of got used to it and gave up torturing myself by thinking about food. But if you can, get anything tempting out of the house and avoid being around people who are eating. I sent my kids to my parents' house for two weeks so I wouldn't have to prepare meals I couldn't eat. After surgery, the hunger was totally gone.

    • buildabetteranna

      I have my final approval from my insurance, only thing holding up things is one last x-ray needed, which I have scheduled for the fourth of next month, which is my birthday.

      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BetterLeah

      Woohoo! I have 7 more days till surgery, So far I am already down a total of 20lbs since I started this journey. 
      · 1 reply
      1. NeonRaven8919

        Well done! I'm 9 days away from surgery! Keep us updated!

    • Ladiva04

      Hello,
      I had my surgery on the 25th of June of this year. Starting off at 117 kilos.😒
      · 1 reply
      1. NeonRaven8919

        Congrats on the surgery!

    • Sandra Austin Tx

      I’m 6 days post op as of today. I had the gastric bypass 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×