....scared.....

[SimplyMe 0]

Okay, so I'm getting banded June 6th! Oh I was so excited when I was scheduled! But here's the deal. It's like the closer I get to the surgery date the more scared I am! It's kinda like what I would imagine an alcoholic or drug addict might go through before being admitted to a rehabilitation center.

food has been my comfort now forever!!!! I eat when I'm sad, happy, celebrating, depressed, hungry, bored....the list goes on....I EAT!!!

Now I'm scared about my life after surgery.

I'm a lower BMI candidate but I'm also 45 and I am definitely headed to more and more weight gain.

I'm a RN by trade and I know when people begin to talk about their experiences (i.e., surgeries, child birth etc) the vast majority tend to make them sound more and more horrible. As I'm reading this board I have to say MANY sound tremendously unhappy and miserable with the band and yet when there was a poll over 90% would do it again.

SO QUESTION? If I give this my all.....exercising, chewing, chewing, chewing, small and wise portions, never eating in a hurry(barring complications of course....).....are chances being that I will be glad I got this band?

[cyndilou29 0]

I'm so sorry you're scared. I would love to say that you are unique in your pre-op fear but you are absolutely not. I posted on here the night before my surgery because I was totally freaking out. I had all the fears you have now. I hate to speak for others, but I would assume 90% of us on hear had those same fears.

Regarding the unhappy and miserable people, as you say, understand that this is a support forum. Many of us have nowhere to go but here when we are scared, frustrated or confused. But just because there are complications, doesn't mean we are unhappy. I have only been banded a week and one walking, sleeping, breathing complication. Notice I didn't add "eating" because I'm not doing that. I'm having a lot of swelling and have spent more time in the hospital than out since I was banded last week. Am I scared? Heck yeah, a little. Would I do it again? In a second. Why? Because what I'm scared of is that they will have to take it out. I've losed 23 lbs and I like that. Do I longingly look at what my family eats? Sure but that's only because I can't eat anything at all. If I could have some salad or some fish, I wouldn't need anything else. I do like the feeling of restriction because it takes away my obsession with food. I'm not planning my next meal or snack because I'm not hungry. I admit, I am currently obsessed with getting Fluid in but that will pass as the swelling goes down (I pray!).

Also, admit it, aren't you drawn to the threads where it seems like there are issues? I am. If there are two posts and one says "Happy Day!" and the other says "Please help me", which are you going to first? We all say we'd do it again because we WOULD do it again. For every person that is "miserable and tremendously unhappy", there are 20 that are thrilled.

These feelings are normal but don't let them take over. You'll get through this, I promise.

[SimplyMe 0]

Thanks! CyndiLou! I am still nervous....but I think it is because I'm truly scared I won't be able to conquer my food addiction! I'm hoping and praying and wishing that the band will be that extra tool that will enable me to forever put food in its proper perspective.....just nutrition....not comfort-crutch-addiction!

WOW! Amazing weight loss! Congratulations! I'll be praying your complications DISAPPEAR....because whoa....you've got the weight loss going well!

[tifferoni326 0]

Ok so I had my band in Feb. I am one of those people who doesn't eat bc they are hungry but bc Im stressed or bored or happy or sad or doing something. My whole family is like this. We watch TV with a thing of Cookies, we work in the yard drinking sweet iced tea etc...of course I am the only one thats real overweight but whatever... So getting this bad was a huge deal for me. There are still alot of times when I miss being able to eat. When I want to jump the person eating next to me. When I go and open the fridge to look longingly at the food. Do I miss eating. YESS!! But, I've lost 30 lbs since my surgery. This is without exercise..oopps!.. I bought a new pair of jeans last week, went from a size 22 to 16 stretch. New bra -a cup size (of all the places to lose). Several new shirts. Before this, I would go to Walmart and go buy these mens solid colored shirts for 5 a piece bc I was covering myself up. Now not so much. I actually flirted with a guy at a party last week..heck I actually went to a party!. Sure I miss food. This is not as easy as I was hoping. Its hard. It takes alot of work. BUT I am finding ways to live. I buy side dishes at restaurants. I buy suckers to eat while studying. I am addicted to Crystal light pink lemonade.

So would I do this again. Yes. but there are drawbacks. Everytime I eat something too fast or too much and must throw up its like the biggest deal to people around me. Sometimes I would like the temp satisfaction of being able to drown myself in food. But, at the same time, I am happier. So, while its not a walk down a park road, this whole thing is worth it. Its helping me find myself under the fat..as corny as it seems

[Roxie1951 0]

SimplyMe,

We all have our fears. I was banded on May 8, 2007. So far so good. I have not had a single problem. I feel good and I'm looking forward to my first fill. I'm back to work and eating well. Rest assured that I was scared before surgery and I also did not know if I could control my eating. I feel I am eating too much now,but I think a fill will help me with that. I try to eat well, but I just wanted you to know that all of us have fears. You will do fine and the band will help you with your eating. I wanted you to know that some of us are not having any problems with the band. Good luck with your surgery.

[kansas sooner 0]

I agree with tifferoni326, i too used food to meet all of my emotional needs, it was my destintations for shopping trips, would be the first things DH and I talked about where we would eat. I am a newbie to LB. Banded 5/24- WHAT A GREAT DAY, well the day after was the greatest- no pain and, like the day I was saved and baptised, the first day of the rest of my life.

Is it going to be a walk in the park. nope! The bigest thing that i have seen this week, was I was NOT hungry, Lunchtime passed and oops I would go and drink my Soup. I can see the mindset changing. I don't know that it is a done deal, but I take each challenge of each day and do my upmost best to conquer this. I am celebrating daily victories. Learning to listen to my body, and I am so ever blessed with a DH that is a constant help. He is so careful to be an alway on encourager.

The fear is normal, especially for those of us that are addicted to food. I love the taste, smell of different things. However, i am learning to enjoy each bite, not the whole meal. Big difference.

There is not one thing i would change on my journey which started with a six week period waiting for LB,(my choice of dates), the surgery location (MX) choice of surgeons (Acheives).

The only thing I would change on this journey would have been the shoes i was wearing on Wednesday that caused me to break my foot! (LOL) so I have no exercise of walking for 6-8 weeks UGH.. so I have to work through this as a henderance to my plan/goal...

My only advise is keep reading the boards, hook up with someone here that you connect with. I focus on what your goals will be, and to have a better health. My bmi before surgery was 61 @ surgery 59 so my health, knees and feet are going to be SO happy when healed and when my bmi is no longer morbidly obese. good luck!

[SimplyMe 0]

Thank you SOOOOOO much!!!!! I know that only I can make this work! But is such an encouragement to hear from others.

Tifferoni.....congratulations! Thank you for your words! I appreciate the thoughts about food obsession....because I do have that indeed!

Roxie.....yes it helps to hear someone actually say you are not having problems!!!! I guess when all is going well you're less apt to write about it! Congratulations on your banding!

Kansas Sooner....thank you! I might be messaging you this time next week!!!!!

[kansas sooner 0]

Thank you SOOOOOO much!!!!! I know that only I can make this work! But is such an encouragement to hear from others.

Tifferoni.....congratulations! Thank you for your words! I appreciate the thoughts about food obsession....because I do have that indeed!

Roxie.....yes it helps to hear someone actually say you are not having problems!!!! I guess when all is going well you're less apt to write about it! Congratulations on your banding!

Kansas Sooner....thank you! I might be messaging you this time next week!!!!!

Any time, I connected with one special lady and i am so thankful to have had her. I was blessed that she is now my FRIEND. She even came to my surgery she kept DH company and is wonderful. We no talk often. I kept thanking her for all she did and she felt as i have alway felt, that is to pass good deeds forward. So whatever i can do to help, please ask. Look forward to your messages.!

[lor 0]

I am having my first fill on June 4th and will (hopefully) experience some restiriction. I didn't have any hunger for the first week after the surgery and I thought "this will be a breeze." Then the hunger came back, and without restricition I am able to eat with abandon. So I'm in some ways, in the same place you are. This is what I've been thinking:

Yes, my eating is definitely addictive and a habit but it's also an adaptive behavior. I use food to comfort myself, to calm myself and to distract myself from other issues in my life. So, if I take food away, then the other issues in my life that are being literally and figuratively covered up with my eating obsession will be uncovered and what's REALLY going on inside me will be revealed. And if I deal with those issues I have a real shot at unraveling my food addiction once and for all. Thinking of it in this way makes me feel that this is an opportunity that I am grateful for. I have tried so many diets, hypnosis, therapy, yoga and meditation and nothing has gotten to the root of the issue because I always end up lapsing back

into old behavior or transferring my obsession to starving myself (that's when I've lost weight). This banding process, I'm thinking, will be different because I won't be stuffing my body beyond what's pleasurable or denying myself when I'm starving, I'll be answering to my bodies actual needs. I don't know if I've ever done that!

Of course yu are having intense feelings about losing the ability to overeat at will. It's obviously something that has worked in the past and you are entering unknown territory. But we've been banging our heads against this wall for a long time, don't you think? It's time to take a chance on a new way of living.

Hope this is coherent.

[Big As Life 0]

I think you are perfectly normal in having these doubts and fears...I was nervous, but I was so afraid something would happen and I couldn't have the surgery.. For me, I knew this was something that I had to do for myself....I didn't want to live the rest of my life, fat...I wanted to get the band and get the weight off....don't worry about not eating...after you have been banded for five weeks, you will be able to eat...not as much as you use to, but you are still able to eat and feel full....the difference is you won't want to eat...you will feel full and you are probably thinking , five weeks.....wow...trust me...it is not that bad...the weeks go by and you have already been banded, so you are not as hungry as you use to be....you will be just fine...I don't miss any food....there are some restrictions, pop-corn, white bread, pineapple, okay, cokes....that is okay...I can live without these foods...nothing taste as good, as losing weight....I have lost 32 lbs and I don't miss anything...I am able to eat and feel full...that is all that matters...the first few weeks is kinda a challenge, but after that , it is so much easier...or at least it was for me....

I wish you all the luck in the world...I hope that you are happy after your banding...I would go do it again tomorrow....and I have only been banded since 4/6/07....so it is still fresh in my mind what the surgery and post- op diet was like...

[lynners 0]

I understand food addiction. I used to eat for every emotion. I use to laugh at every serving sizebecause no one could eat such a small amount. I was amazed after my surgery (sept. 06) that didn't crave all the things I use to eat in bulk. For me it was like the surgeon put a chip in my head that blocked those urges/needs.

In mid April, my mother was diagnosed with stomach cancer and given 3 to 6 months to live. Talk about stress. She passed away on May 23, and we buried her last Saturday. A year ago I wold have gained 10 pounds in the last 6 weeks. I will admit that my food choices in the last 6 weeks have not been a good as before, and I haven't lost any weight since my mother was diagnosed. I have not gained weight either. That is a major improvement. There are many times that I sat down with a bag of Cookies and couldn't eat more than 4 or 5 of them. I sure wanted to eat the entire bag but my band wouldn't let me. I thank God for my band every day and have had no problems.

[mol 0]

Hi , I am being banded on June 14 th and like you i'm getting more nervous, I fear the surgery and my will power afterwards! I am also a nurse and definately sometimes too much knowledge is a bad thing?? Thankfully i have read alot of very positive things on this website which finally convinced me to go ahead, with a BMI of 48 i really don't think i've anything to lose except the weight!

[SimplyMe 0]

Lor-coherent! Yes I understood everything....all too well! Good luck with your fill. And hearing from someone banded helps me to be all the more determined...as you are with your new fill! Thank you.

Big As Life-....okay....you are now my official "poster child" for the Lap-Band!....no......seriously....I want to be just that way! The doctor seems to say that but as you know....everyones experience is different! Thank you for your inspiration!

Lynne....I am so sorry! Yes that stress would be tremendously. Stress I have not had to deal with yet! I'm praying for you. And what a success that now you don't have to start back with a weight gain of 20 plus pounds. I know that must've been hard.

Mol.....message me!!!!! Anxious to see how it is going....just 3 days ahead of me! Good luck!

[Terranne 0]

I AM SOOOOO GLAD YOU ASKED THIS QUESTION!!!!

We all sit here and read the posts and sit in fear lol. I am being banded on June 12th in Mexico. So right now I'm on the preop diet right...well today is day 5 and yesterday was the hardest, I was stressed, tired and starting to feel overwhelmed and freaking out about the surgery...I wanted soooooooo bad to go to the kitchen and have something/anything to eat!!!!! I got out to the kitchen (when everyone was gone or asleep of course) and looked through the fridge, freezer, cupboards and you know what....I couldn't find anything to eat that was naughty enough lol. I just truely didn't have a craving of any sort at that point, just wanted to eat something to make myself feel better. food is the ultimate "high" for me...everytime the kids scream I go to the kitchen, immediately after work I go to the kitchen...life is my stressor and food is my answer to everything. The point I'm getting at is just yesterday while I was standing in the kitchen and chose to go to bed rather than have something to eat it showed me that this might actually work for me! I might actually be happy again! My weight is what causes me stress, my weight is what causes me to be unhappy, my weight my weight my weight!

On Thursday I threw out some Chinese deep fried ribs and wings that were in the fridge from my "last meal" and that was tough...I instantly got depressed thinking that I would never have that again, I became stressed that I would never be able to eat all I wanted that I would eat and not be satisfied all of that running through my head.

I totally understand what you are going through and so happy to hear that I'm not alone, you are not alone!

We should keep in touch! Our dates are close, we can share it all lol.

Where are you being banded? I'm going to Dr. Kuri in mexico and nervous about the surgery of course but I'm also travelling alone! My husband isn't able to come with me and I don't have anyone else so I'm going about this journey alone!

[SimplyMe 0]

Terranne!!!! you bet! Mine is the 7th in Hurst, Texas. Yep I think it was described in another thread as the "food crazies" before the pre-op diet! Yep.....been there done that!