Marchies in June

[Nikki 0]

Kythera_ I feel for you, I can't imagine having a mom smaller then myself. As it is I have always been the biggest girlfriend, the biggest PTA mom, the biggest sister in law, I swear the biggest tourist in China and Japan LOL.

My boys are in marching band, I cannot wait until late August during marching band Camp, when I won't be the biggest mom out there.

You guys I feel funny. I can't quite put my finger on it. Maybe a little obsessed with going into this new territory that I thought the door was closed and chained. I have day dreamed for years about losing weight. But it has never happened.

There is so many changes, both physical and mental. My rings slide around, I stare at the mirror and say "Do I look slimmer? A friend saw my license he was like man, no chubby checks, I am glad to hear it, I think I see it?

I feel more feminine but I feel guilty or something. I feel like I need to just pour my feelings out, get some kind of reassurance that this is happening. I am not dreaming, this is a reality. 37 lbs are gone. Will I be thin and weak, you know, big girl = strong girl, my crazy mentality.

I guess I am just venting, but I am not mad, just maybe emotional.

Janine - Don't feel guilty for doing something good for yourself. I know that as caretakers women tend to "devalue" our own needs to meet the needs of others. It's ok to do something good for you too! But, if it's too much to handle at once and something you need to ease into then think of it this way . . . You have children, so think of it that you are getting healthy so that you can enjoy them and be there for them. :scalesno:

About the mom being smaller, listen to this LOL. I'm 5'2". My mom is taller than I am at 5'6" but "normal sized?" she is a 14-16. My sisters are both 4'11" haha and ver petite. To top it off they both have thyroid disease (the one that slows your metabolizm and makes you gain) but I got the fat jean!!! We joke about it alot, my sis and mom are great - they are so suuportive of my journey.

[laralynn86 0]

My mom is 5' 2", and though she's larger now (after seven children) she was probably a size 2 or 4 when she got married. On top of that, my next heaviest sister after me weighs in the 140's, and the other 4 are in the 120's or below. There was a time when you could add the clothing sizes of 4 of my sister's together, and it was smaller than the size I wore. Freaking depressing.

I'm so mad at myself. So mad. And have no one to blame for myself. Last week at this time I had walked every morning and worked out almost every day for a week. I'd swam three mornings in a row and went to the bellydance / yoga class. The scale read 228 - I was on Cloud 9. It was the greatest feeling ever.

Then, last Wednesday I went to Phoenix to watch my sister's three boys (ages 2, 4 & 5) while she and her husband went on vacation for four days. I have to say I have a newfound respect for all of you who cook for others. I sampled way to much of the food I prepared for them. And I didn't learn, I did it over and over again. Not to mention, in the past week I've had 2 ice cream bars, three or four carbonated energy drinks (why, why, why do I do this), and for breakfast this morning not only did I have a carbonated energy drink, but I had a Nestle Crunch and a Butterfinger to go with it. What am I thinking? Why do I do this? I know I'm sabotaging myself, but I still do it. And I haven't been swimming and I haven't been to the gym, and I didn't go back to the class, and I'm not drinking my Water, and I'm not getting my protien, an I eat candy that's lying around at work (for some reason we have a bunch of sour candy at work, and I've eaten so much my mouth is killing me). And, to make matters so much worse - the scale now reads 234 again. I'm supposed to be DONE with the 230s.

And part of what's frustrating is that mathmatically, even though I'm eating bad foods, I'm not consuming enough calories that I should be gaining wait. Yes I ate candy for breakfast today, but it's the only thing I had besides some cottage cheese.< /p>

I'm so mad at myself. I just feel ill at what I've turned into. There was a time just after surgery where I was so high and mighty about my self control that I would have died before putting a piece of candy in my mouth.

Blek.

[OH Juli 15]

Laralynn

Oh girl, stop beating yourself up.

Stop being mad at yourself.

Don't worry about how you were "high and mighty".

Think about what you can do RIGHT NOW to get back in the game. Get up walk in a circle, drink some Water and say, "I've got control, I know the rules, and I will follow them."

When the next piece of candy calls your name, say it in your head.

What you can learn from this experience, eating candy bars and cooking for small kids is that you need to be vigilant.

Be kind to yourself. We all have bad days/weeks. It's not what we do during the bad times that define us. It's what we do to pull ourselves up out of the bad times that does.

HTH

[outdoorfriends 0]

Laralynn86

I agree with Julie. Just get right back on that weight loss horse and don't worry about what you did. Just keep taking it one day at a time and don't let a slip ruin it all for you. You're doing great!

[momlambert 77]

Hi Marchie friends, I fell of the wagon a bit, too. But I'm taking your advice and getting back on. Weekends are always hard for me and this past weekend I cooked for Father's Day: big barbeque with all the fixin's including homemade ice cream and yummy chocolate cake. I've had three fills but have no restriction so I'm discouraged anyway and having all that food and friends and family around just made it all the worse. Anyway, I did better yesterday and will do great today--that's the plan. I have another fill on Monday so I'm getting closer to having some restriction. The good news is that I've never slimed or pb'd. Sunday when I ate a whole hamburger with the bun and all, taking normal bites and not chewing more than I used to, I got a full feeling once that lasted about 15 seconds and then was gone. So I know the band is there and will do it's job once it's adjusted right but it sure is taking a lot longer to get help than I thought--I thought by May 1, 6 weeks after surgery, I would be getting help from my band. Now I'm tired of strictly dieting and being hungry, etc. Argh. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about!

Good luck everyone. It's a new day! Karen

[jmarruda 22]

Hey Marchies

I also fell off the wagon a little last week. I did a 7 day cruise and it was nonstop eating all the time. But I'm paying for it now because I'm having a hard time getting down mushies. I seem to be super tight lately, probably from pigging out last week. You guys also seem to be doing really well too! Its so exciting to see all your progress since we've all been banded in the same month.

[Janine 0]

Momlambert. I have 2.5 cc in a 4cc band. it has made a huge difference. i have very good restriction. Sounds like your getting close.

Laralyn- I agree just take one day at a time. Why oh why do those darn chocolate bars go down so easy. LOL That has been my downfall too.

Kythera- enjoy those 20's and 30's it is truly a great time in life. Your still so young, you are on your way to being a sensual young lady, on the outside, we already know how brave and courageous you are on the inside. Kudos.

Nikki- Your right it is hard being the mother and also taking time to care for yourself. Thanks for the kind words.

[laralynn86 0]

This morning I got up and came into work at 6 am. I drank some Water early, then some more around 8. I had a Mocha Frappacino Light (I think that's what's they're called, it's Starbucks in a bottle you can get at convenience stores). About 1pm I had 2 cups of cottage cheese and maybe 3 or 4 potato chips. Drank more water than usual this afternoon, but still not enough. I ate one piece of candy (they're ice breakers sours that I eat). For dinner, around 7pm I went to town on the potato chips and ate who knows how many ... 20 or 30 I suppose. Not my best day still. Thanks for the encouragement from everyone though. Tomorrow I shall do better.

Today no swimming, no gym. Again, tomorrow I will do better. Anyone have advice for a constant and overwhelming feeling of fatigue?

[laralynn86 0]

And also, I weighed myself this morning, and suddenly it read 221 the first time, then 220 the next time (this is after showing 232 - 236 yesterday) ... I guarantee I did not drop 10+ lbs overnight. I moved the scale a little and weighed myself again at it claimed 230 (which is probably accurate, and close to my low of 228). Anyhow, I'm beginning to think my scale is posessed and maybe it's time for him to retire. Sad for me though cause I love the little scale (it saves your last weight and measures your body fat and is just generally cool) and it was a gift for my 28th birthday. All the same, perhaps it his time for his replacement.

[kyethra 0]

I know all about fatigue and tiredness and so forth. One thing that helps is Protein. Get in tons of protein. Have a big ole Protein Shake for Breakfast. Are you getting enough sleep? Some people also think ribose helps (people with CFS). They take it as a supplement. Make sure you are getting in good nutrition, veggies and fruit. And good sleep. Frequent breaks and things to recharge. Power naps-- no more than 30 mins! If I get really desperate Adderal helps, but it isn't my med of choice.

[kyethra 0]

So I think I might have good restriction now, instead of being overly restricted (according to me anyway). Today for lunch I had half of a yoghurt. And then for supper I had about 5/8 of a slice of cheese pizza. And it went down with no problems, lots of chewing, a pause between bites like always. I felt satisfied and comfortably full after I was done eating today. Just like I was supposed to and I felt like I had eaten enough to justify having food I guess. Whereas before my partial unfill After a few bites I was in pain and discomfort! Plus I didn't feel satisfied, and I felt silly having cooked or even taken the food out if thats all I was going to eat, especially since it seemed to PB back up as often as not. So far so good. Tomorrow I'll try something a little more solid, but I am thinking this is a good level of restriction maybe. The doc tried to scare me and told me I would get hungry more often with an unfill. I said that I was a risk I was willing to take. If anything, I seem to be hungry less! Maybe because more stays down? And as a NSV I am now a tight size 18! I was washing some clothes today (since we got the new washer and dryer I've been doing a lot of backed up laundry) and I dried on the pair of old jeans I had just taken out of the tryer. They fit! But they felt snug. The 20s are still a better fit. So that is something exciting to look forward to, when they are no longer snug! Now I wonder when the 20s actually fit. I need to keep track of this stuff.

[laralynn86 0]

I still tend to wear my size 22 (and ocassionally 24), though I'm a comfortable size 18 or tight 16. I feel more secure in my 22's ... tomorrow I'm going to try to get rid of them all though, because they are ridiculously huge on me, and I have no business wearing size 22. I show my underpants constantly in them (and I'm not nearly small enough to make that look attractive).

[OH Juli 15]

This morning I got up and came into work at 6 am. I drank some Water early, then some more around 8. I had a Mocha Frappacino Light (I think that's what's they're called, it's Starbucks in a bottle you can get at convenience stores). About 1pm I had 2 cups of cottage cheese and maybe 3 or 4 potato chips. Drank more water than usual this afternoon, but still not enough. I ate one piece of candy (they're ice breakers sours that I eat). For dinner, around 7pm I went to town on the potato chips and ate who knows how many ... 20 or 30 I suppose. Not my best day still. Thanks for the encouragement from everyone though. Tomorrow I shall do better.

Today no swimming, no gym. Again, tomorrow I will do better. Anyone have advice for a constant and overwhelming feeling of fatigue?

Lauralynn

Please eat something healthy. From what you had above all I see is some cottage cheese. I'm not saying stop the chips and candy, but where is the Protein, the vegetable, the fruit?

You are probably tired because your body doesn't have the right fuel to keep you standing up right.

You might find that if you are eating well, the chips and candy are less tempting too.

Juli

[LoriPA 4]

Happy Thursday everyone!

It's been quite awhile since I checked in, so I had a lot of reading to do! I haven't had much time for message boards recently; there has been a lot going on.

Today was weigh in again; I lost three more pounds and ANOTHER inch off my hips! I was quite shocked at that one, since I did cheat a little and had pizza on Monday night. I guess with all this moving and shaking I've been doing lately, those calories burned up quicker than I thought. LOL.

Last weekend, I competed in a pageant, the first time in a couple of years. I didn't win (nor did I expect to), but I got first runner up! A couple of days after that, I got an offer from the author of Down That Aisle in Style: A Wedding Guide for Full Figured Women to join a plus-sized themed book tour she is planning for later this summer when it stops in my area, in addition to throwing my PR firm into the hat for possibly doing the promo work for her new book coming out this fall.

And my PR firm got an "Arts and Literature" front page feature on a networking site today! What good publicity, eh?

[tammyj 15]

I had a blast in Puerto Rico, but I am glad to be back. I managed to lose 1 pound while I was on vacation. I really don't know how that happened. I did take advantage of the hotel's fitness center. I'm not a fan of treadmills, but I did 30min. on the treadmill each morning I was there. I found it very hard to stick to lapband rules. I didn't eat a whole lot, it was just the wrong kinds a food plus a lot of drinking. I had my VERY FIRST PB on chips and salsa and a Mojito. I know, I know I should not have been drinking while eating. I have learned my lesson because the drinking made it worse. I did not experience the excrutiating pain that others describe. I felt fullness in my chest and began to feel nauseated, then I started sweating and UH OH!!!! Anyways, I've really missed you guys! I have a lot of posts to read, but I hope everyone is doing well.