Just starting the journey

[donald0717 21]

I've just finished the third week of my pre op classes. The thing that led me this is of course the obvious... I'm obese!!! But, the health and social issues that follow have finally made it too much to bear. I am a 60 year old grandparent who has never gotten on the floor to play with his grandchildren. I suffer from osteoarthritis in both knees which hinder my ability to walk across the room. I have diabetes, COPD, hypertension, high cholesterol, and I'm sick of being sick!!!

I don't think I've had lifelong history of weight problems but I can remember being teased for being "fat" as a young child. This changed as I entered high school and started to played sports and then joined the Army. After the military I became an avid backpacker and got into rock climbing. During this time I keep my weight in check without problems. It should be noted that I did suffer from other self esteem problems... I was an addict and I think I used the alcohol and risky activities to mask my low self esteem. If I was great athlete I couldn't be a drunk? Or if I was a drunk... whatever was needed to cover up the real me and what I was feeling.

After I got sober I got married for the first time and as things didn't go well I took to eating to cover up what I was feeling. After the end of this marriage I once again took to activity to hide out. I biked up to 200 miles a week, or would go days without eating. People gave me praise for losing weight but didn't know that I was going through my first major depression and couldn't eat or sleep. The bottom line is that I got down to a respectable weight again in a totally inappropriate way.

Soon I got married again and things were good. I exercised at a healthy (non manic) way. Life was good and my wife soon gave birth to my first child. It was during this time that the exercise stopped and quit working to be the stay at home parent. Within the next few years I started to exhibit emotion problems and was eventually diagnosed with bipolar disorder. As the psychiatrists piled on the medications I became less active. I developed breathing problems and was placed on oxygen. Talk about a cluster ****, my body totally shut down. Over the next 15 years my health got totally out of control. During that time period I was hospitalized no less than 7 times for emotional and health reasons and no one was willing to identify my psych meds as a major health concern.

Finally, 2 years ago I decided to go off of my meds after I start to develop some rather nasty neurological side effects from one of the psych meds. During the ensuing months I started to breath again and was no longer physically depressed. Luckily I now have a psychiatrist who sees that I had been over medicated all these years. Instead of being on a cocktail of meds that promote weight gain I am on only one. (Unfortunately this med promotes weight gain but it's the one that seems to work) It's been like waking up from a dream, there are literally years that I can't remember. My wife and family are happy that I am awake.

So this brings me to the next chapter. What am I going to do to prolong the rest of my life. This surgery is the first step! With it I can be not only see what is going on around me but I can participate in it. And with the help of my higher power I hope that all will go right.

[Jovie62 135]

What a wonderful story about courage, strength and the ability to never give up. I love how honest you were about everything. I know that's hard. I've been there and never wanted to admit I drank too much alcohol or had a love hate relationship with food and my body! I'm 53 and after preparing for the last 7 months my surgery is on the 18th. I also have very painful osteoarthritis in my knees in which I can't even walk across the parking lot! We can do this just like so many other people have!! Good luck!