Need support!

[GreenEyes604 753]

Situations like this are the main reason why I didn't tell anyone (other than my daughter who lives with me), that I was having this surgery. I embarked on the journey for me and my health. I made the decision that I wanted to be thinner and healthier so that I could live a longer life FOR ME! I didn't need or want anyone else's approval of the decision that I had made, and I'm so happy that I did.

I wish you only the very best, and you've learned a very valuable lesson very early... Be careful who you decide to tell about your life changing decision. Everyone is not going to be supportive, and some may even try to undermine your decision. Just remember that you're doing this for YOU, not for anyone else.

[portuguesegal10 16]

I didn't so much need his approval I just didn't want to do this behind his back. I still live at home with my parents so I wouldn't feel right keeping it from them. I'm definitely not going to let him stop me from doing this though! Like you said I'm doing this so that I become healthier and happier!

[Aimee1961 0]

I feel that I could have written this post! I feel for you in the way your dad responded to your exciting news. I am just beginning my 6 months & I am on top of the world. My suppotive husband has agreed that this is a move I should make. He has even started changing his way of eating to match what I am to be doing this month. My sister is really excited for me as well. The one person I will not tell because of the hateful, screaming fit she will have is my momma. I have waited years for my doctors to see how bad I needed to do this in hopes of helping my medical conditions.

I understand wanting your dads approval-every girl wants daddy's ok. It sucks when we are really looking forward to something new & exciting that we are just over the moon and they don't approve. Schedule your surgery get your 6 months going & breaking some old habits-Good Luck!!!

[portuguesegal10 16]

@@Aimee1961 yeah it really sucks everyone else that I have told (my mom and my boyfriend) are both really nervous but they are behind me 100% my dad is the only one that reacted that way. He hasn't said anything to me on the subject again but my mom says that he mentions it to her and he seems to be coming around. I mean I know that he's just scared and that's why he reacted how he did but it was still hard on me. I haven't let it change my mind or anything. I'm continuing as I planned. My very first appointment is in 2 weeks and I can't wait to meet my surgeon and get this process going! I hope your mom eventually get a behind you. I'm sure she will when she sees your success! Good luck with everything!

[Rogofulm 2,440]

Ola, Portuguesa! Sure it's your decision to make, but it's nice to have your family and friends' support for such a life-changing event. Have you tried explaining it to him patiently and unemotionally? You've done your research, right? Bring him some statistics. Show him that this is the most effective way to permanently lose weight. Take him to the next free seminar, or bring him with you to the doctor's appointment so he can ask his questions and get answers straight from the surgeon. I'm 55, married, with a kid....and the only person who suggested that I try again the old-fashioned way was my Mom.... who first put me on a diet 48 years ago when I was 7. Is that even rational? Our parents are just worried about surgery because they love us. Once I explained to her that I had made my decision and she needed to get on board, she did. Now she's thrilled that I've finally lost the weight. So now... get this... she tells me I'm getting too thin and need to stop. See.....? They're irrational because they love us. So just be patient with your Dad, and try to get him all the information he needs to understand why you feel you have to do this. I'll bet once he's fully informed, he'll come around. Boa sorte, amiga!!!

[portuguesegal10 16]

Olá amigo @@Rogofulm! My father is very difficult and very set in his ways. When he thinks something you will not get him to change his mind unless he changes it on his own. I haven't spoken to him about it at all anymore since the day I told him. He also hasn't asked or mentioned anything about it to me. My mom says that he mentions it to her and some days he's ok with it and others he isn't. I guess he's trying to wrap his head around it. I completely understand that he's scared I mean it's major surgery! But he flies off the handles without thinking things through. He told me flat out the day that I told him that he will not support me and will not be there for me. That really hurt! But I will NOT let that change my mind! I've been doing research for months on it so I'm very well informed. I know what I'm getting myself into. Lol my dad is going to be the same way! I'm sure he will complain that I'm losing too much or too fast! I'm just scared that if God forbid I mess up or if something goes wrong that he will never let me or my mom live it down. And I'm scared to even complain about being in pain around him when I get the surgery because I feel like he's going to say well you're the one that wanted to do this. Ugh he's so difficult! He doesn't make it easy to have an open honest relationship with him. I wasn't even going to tell him about the surgery until after I got it! But I still live at home so I had to tell him. Anyway, obrigado amigo! Boa sorte para ti também!