Need support!

[portuguesegal10 16]

I have decided that I want to get the sleeve. I have done a lot of research and went to the seminar and this is the right choice for me. I have my first consultation on March 10th. However, I just told my dad about my decision and he is extremely against it. He yelled and told me to just lose weight the regular way. I am so upset that he reacted this way, I just wanted his support. I still want to go this route but he is not at all on board and I fear he's going to be mad and distant with me. It also puts more pressure on me because if I still don't lose weight with the sleeve then he's going to say told you so and never let me live it down! All I can do is cry because I want this so badly

[wannaBthinsoon 1,634]

Welcome! You mention your Dad is against it, and will be mad and distant with you. Are you an adult. I don't mean to insult you but, if you are an adult, it's your decision, not Dad's. Does he not want you to be healthy?

[Healthy_life2 8,324]

@@portuguesegal10

We have no control over peoples reactions. You always hope they can put their own feelings aside and be supportive. Some just can't. In this process I have learned a few things. I would rather build people up than tear them down. I have had to distance people that cant be supportive and positive in my life.

My hope is his mind will ease after all the positive things that will happen in you're life with the bariatric process.

[Sassafrassa 33]

I sought the approval from my family as well. Its a natural thing to do and if they dont support you it can make you feel like its the wrong decision. You sound like you know its the right decision for you. Theres heaps of different reasons why he chose to yell at you.

Like heaps of people say, the sleeve is a tool to help you lose weight. Dont put added pressure on yourself about what ifs for after the surgery. Just focus on yourself and what you need to do, to get you to that surgery date you cant let the lack of support from one person change what you clearly know you need to do. People turn to surgery because theyve tried the 'regular' way. In reality the stats show that only 5% of people who lose weight non surgically keep the weight off. Hence why so many people yo yo diet and add on more pounds than before. Different things work for different people - and the sleeve can work

[samuelsmom 670]

@@portuguesegal10

Give your dad some time to come around. In the meantime, learn all you can and start implementing the strategies you will learn about food choices, activity, etc. Good Luck!

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

If you are over 18 and you feel this is the right thing then you have to decide for yourself if you really want to do this. It's your choice. You can't convince or talk someone into something. So you have to decide for yourself if you can do this and stick to your guns and follow the bariatric diet you will need to follow in order to be successful.

[portuguesegal10 16]

Thank you all so much for the much needed support! @@wannaBthinsoon yes I am an adult. I'm 27 years old however, I am still living at home with my parents. He does want me to be healthy but he wants me to do it the "regular" way. I do understand that he is scared and nervous and maybe that is why he is acting like this but I've tried so many other diets with little success and then regain the weight back. I hope he comes around because I'm not changing my mind! It's just added stress knowing he's not supporting my decision

[wannaBthinsoon 1,634]

Even though there are risks, they are WAY less than many other surgeries out there, or even obesity itself. PLUS.......technology and surgeons expertise has improved greatly over the years, and it is a much safer procedure than it used to be. The complications you hear about these days are nausea, vomiting, and (rarely) a leak. Getting healthy is the goal.

[portuguesegal10 16]

Wannabthinsoon Oh I know that I've done my research he just doesn't want to hear it. All he heard was "surgery" and he was against it!

[wannaBthinsoon 1,634]

Well, this site is a great support group. Also the bariatric center you use should also have a support group that meets a few times a month. You also should have a psychologist working with you, along with your dietitian, and nutritionist and surgeon. You are not alone, believe me. There is a "team" of professionals who work with you to help you achieve your goals. And when your Dad sees your awesome progress he will have no choice but to jump on board the support train. Best of luck to you in your pursuit of great health.

[portuguesegal10 16]

You are right. Thank you for your support. I'm going to keep on track and do what I feel is right for me and he will see when I achieve my goal. Best of luck to you as well!

[Jovie62 135]

Your dad is just probably nervous for you. Is this usually the way he reacts to things the first time? Maybe when he calms down you can explain all of the research you done and have him read some information regarding the surgery. Good luck!

[portuguesegal10 16]

If it's against what he thinks is right then yes this is how he reacts. He's been friendlier to me lately but we haven't touched on the subject anymore. He asks my mom if I still want to have wls and he alternates between saying I need to do something about my weight to saying I shouldn't do it. I know he's really scared..it's normal to be. Thank you for the support!

Edited February 16, 2015 by portuguesegal10

[Karess Haivala 8]

Just think of it like you are taking control of your health. Surgery is scary. I didn't think my dad would be supportive, but in the end, he is very proud of me. There came a point when I brought it up to my regular doctor and she said agreed, that we had tried everything and my body needed help. I feel no shame in my decision to have the surgery. And it was the best thing for me. I'm three months out and would do it again in a heart beat. The hardest part was waiting to schedule surgery after you've made up your mind to go for it. That was the longest wait! Best of luck to you on your journey!

[portuguesegal10 16]

I'm at that point right now! I'm soo anxious I just want to get the surgery done tomorrow already! I'm sure he'll be proud of me after I lose weight and keep it off