I need a set of glasses, because I just can't see it...

[Recycled 2,182]

Mirrors and pictures were always my reality check before. And they are now too. So the idea of keeping pictures around of before and after to keep me in check is what I'm gonna do too.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I found that I don't see myself accurately in the mirror... it is my co-conspiritor in dismorphia

when I was obese, I didn't see it as bad in the mirror. Photos of myself would shock me - like - how could i be THAT BIG? Now, I am prone to see myself in the mirror as "worse" that i really look. There is something about photos that seem like more factual. I can't deny the reality.

Since I use mirrors to put on makeup and do my hair... it makes me wonder what i REALLY go out of the house looking like...haha

[teacherlady2133 258]

Oh my I have the same thoughts about mirrors.. I have put makeup on and think wow I look good, then take a photo and I do not look like what I saw in the mirror... So I agree photos are it...I have a story about photos.. When I first was losing weight I took a picture of myself and was shocked how thin I looked.. So I asked my son is this what everyone else is seeing? He at first laughed then said yea mom it is a photo if you... Got to love 15 year olds!!

[Ginger Snaps 1,323]

I struggle with this, too. When I was my heaviest, I always hated my mid-section the most. I think I gained there last -- ending up with a pot-belly. Now, even when I look in the mirror, I look at that little bulge just above the belly button, turn sideways, study it -- wish it would go away. I think it's a leftover of a lot of self-hatred and shame. And I argue with myself non-stop about sizes when I'm shopping. Always go in the dressing room with a bigger option than what I know I wear. I hold up my now size 4 jeans and think there is NO way they will fit. And they do. And they're baggy with the last 10 I've lost.

I've been trying to find a counselor to talk with about this. I try positive self-talk and facts. I DO wear a size 4. I DO fit in small tops. My belly is NOT bulging. I am stronger than I was. I can run now when I couldn't before. Those ARE hip bones in the front.

I think it's ok we have these thoughts for a while... mine have gotten better the longer out from surgery I get. I did speak with my psychiatrist who told me it's normal and not to worry too much about it unless you find it interfering with life -- like avoiding social situations because you feel weird, etc.

Hang out here and get support and we'll get through it together.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Naked, my body is more "disheveled" (skin and fat that sags, wrinkles, puddles in lumps) than ever before at this weight.

Hubby has also had health issues recently (diagnosed with cancer, receiving chemo, lost 30 pounds, regained a little back).

So our therapy for the feelings we're having about how we look these days is to take our clothes off and joke and laugh about all our stuff. And then we hug each other and tell each other how much we love each other.

It works pretty good.

[JamieLogical 8,700]

So our therapy for the feelings we're having about how we look these days is to take our clothes off and joke and laugh about all our stuff. And then we hug each other and tell each other how much we love each other.

Love it!

[Swampdoggie 477]

I like this thread. I appreciate what the OP was saying. I followed the link to the gratitude article and like that. I am dysmorphic in the backwards sense too - while I've struggled with weight my whole life, I was never actually much overweight until I ruptured a disk in my back. In my head i m always a size 12. So photos are always a shock.

I think I may always have a weird relationship with food but being a lot older now than I used to be (or ever thought I'd be- I always think of myself as 37 for reasons known to absolutely no one) I really am trying to focus on the health gains and less on the clothes size. I have a wing span of six feet. I'm never gonna be small (except for my strangely narrow feet). But I am gonna be healthy and I'm gonna ski and camp and hike and garden. I am grateful for all these points of view and shared fears and victories big and small from this interesting community of people.

[teacherlady2133 258]

I got a reality check this weekend.. I was trying on clothing and wasn't happy about the fit and started complaining to my 14 year old daughter and she was "like really mom! You're not going to become like oh I am so fat! Stop complaining you're a size 12/14... You are smaller than a lot of woman." Then I look at my 14 year old daughter who is sitting there a 6ft tall, a size 18 thought how upsetting..to hear me complain about size when she has such a hard time fitting in... Oh worst mom moment ever!!!

Going to find contentment, so I can model contentment and self love...

[teacherlady2133 258]

Ok I took everyone's advice and started looking at photos.. Thought I would share...my heaviest 350... Surgery day 4/28/14 305 and current 197.

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

Ok I took everyone's advice and started looking at photos.. Thought I would share...my heaviest 350... Surgery day 4/28/14 305 and current 197.

ImageUploadedByBariatricPal1424349655.395541.jpg

ImageUploadedByBariatricPal1424349701.728783.jpg

beautiful!!!

[Recycled 2,182]

teacherlady2133, on 19 Feb 2015 - 07:42, said:

[ Ok I took everyone's advice and started looking at photos.. Thought I would share...my heaviest 350... Surgery day 4/28/14 305 and current 197. ImageUploadedByBariatricPal1424349655.395541.jpg

ImageUploadedByBariatricPal1424349701.728783.jpg ]

OMG......one of the most dramatic changes ever. You look fantastic.

This is where I would usually say, "I can only imagine how you feel" ...... but this time, I really do know how you feel..........Congrats on your new life.

Edited February 19, 2015 by Recycled

[MichiganChic 3,262]

I got a reality check this weekend.. I was trying on clothing and wasn't happy about the fit and started complaining to my 14 year old daughter and she was "like really mom! You're not going to become like oh I am so fat! Stop complaining you're a size 12/14... You are smaller than a lot of woman." Then I look at my 14 year old daughter who is sitting there a 6ft tall, a size 18 thought how upsetting..to hear me complain about size when she has such a hard time fitting in... Oh worst mom moment ever!!!

Going to find contentment, so I can model contentment and self love...

I have also been guilty of that. Try not to feel too bad. I think we are all different in sizes and our personal goals. I also have a 6 foot daughter, and we are just different shape, size, composition, everything. Having said that , though, it does quickly remind us how difficult it is to be an overweight girl, and we sure don't want to make it any harder for them!

Ok I took everyone's advice and started looking at photos.. Thought I would share...my heaviest 350... Surgery day 4/28/14 305 and current 197.

and you look great! I agree, time to find contentment!

[teacherlady2133 258]

Thank you all for the comments.. Pictures do speak a thousand words..

[blondebomb 580]

I am SOOOOO glad I seen your post today! Im going thru these emotions, feelings, overwhelmed here the past month an its mounting up . gotta get this sorted out in my head! going to take some pics today an visualize I need to "see" also. Im struggling with the changes I see in my head. thank you for posting! an someone else posted a link I am going to look there also!! thanks everyone!

[Ginger Snaps 1,323]

@@teacherlady2133 WOW!!! A lot of times we say "you look like a different person" but you HONESTLY look like a new woman! I bet people who haven't seen you in a while don't recognize you. And you retained boobs!!! How wonderful!!! I didn't have them to start with and I certainly didn't keep anything there.

Great job! Revel in how far you've already come.