Mother troubles...

[mal0712 101]

My mom lives with my husband and I for the past year following her husband's death ( cancer ). I love my mom but recently she has become my worst enemy. It is almost like a sabotage against me. She brings food in the house I'm trying to stay away from and will ask me if I want them Knowing that I'm trying to lose weight. She tells me I'm depriving myself all together, but I'm not. I don't crave the sweets right now ,but when I see them I'm like dang that would taste soooo good. She is a major factor in my obesity. She would sneak me sweets behind my dad's back and let me eat whatever I wanted as a child.... how ( without snapping her little neck -that's a joke!!!!) Get her to stop the madness and to get her on my side and not against me!?!?!?

[Djmohr 6,965]

This is a tough one but I know exactly what you are talking about. my husband who is not sabotaging me will go get something like dairy queen and then will ask if I want anything. He does this because he feels bad for me and somewhat guilty about having it himself not because he wants to undo the progress I have made. He himself is a food addict and needs to do something about his weight. He however is a big chicken when it comes to having surgery.

Sometimes I actually will get mad at him and state the obvious: I don't need that and honestly neither do you. Then I feel bad so recently I just had a very straight forward conversation with him and told him that even though I don't crave that stuff now, I sometimes will look at it like it is something I could try. That temptation just does not need to be there.

The good news is I have an extraordinary amount of will power to refrain.

The bad news is, I am more worried about him having it than me going off track. So I then feel like a nag, I have actually had to watch myself a few times now. I believe he will come to his own decision to do something about his weight when he is ready.

As far as your Mom goes, maybe sit down with her and share your feelings. Tell her it feels like sabotage and you need her support instead. You may find that there is an underlying reason she is doing this which has nothing to do with sabotage.

Just my two cents....

[Christina44 6]

I feel your pain! I would hope if you sit her down and talk to her she may understand? I am wondering if as a Mother she feels like it is her job to feed you and keep your belly full but makes the wrong choices. I hope it all works out and she realizes that its tough for you. Best of luck to you!

[mal0712 101]

I feel your pain! I would hope if you sit her down and talk to her she may understand? I am wondering if as a Mother she feels like it is her job to feed you and keep your belly full but makes the wrong choices. I hope it all works out and she realizes that its tough for you. Best of luck to you!

I (and doctors) over the years have had these convos with her. She doesn't see where I need help. She calls me "chunky" or "healthy" when actually I'm MORBIDLY OBESE. It's like she doesn't see where it hurts to have sweets. She could eat a box of little debbie a day and not gain an ounce! I have talked to her about this surgery many times and she snarls her nose to it and tells me I'm being ridiculous about it all. Her sister died from diabetic complications. She was obese like I am. Now that I think about it, I don't think she wants to come to grips with the fact that I could easily be next.....

[mal0712 101]

This is a tough one but I know exactly what you are talking about. my husband who is not sabotaging me will go get something like dairy queen and then will ask if I want anything. He does this because he feels bad for me and somewhat guilty about having it himself not because he wants to undo the progress I have made. He himself is a food addict and needs to do something about his weight. He however is a big chicken when it comes to having surgery.

Sometimes I actually will get mad at him and state the obvious: I don't need that and honestly neither do you. Then I feel bad so recently I just had a very straight forward conversation with him and told him that even though I don't crave that stuff now, I sometimes will look at it like it is something I could try. That temptation just does not need to be there.

The good news is I have an extraordinary amount of will power to refrain.

The bad news is, I am more worried about him having it than me going off track. So I then feel like a nag, I have actually had to watch myself a few times now. I believe he will come to his own decision to do something about his weight when he is ready.

As far as your Mom goes, maybe sit down with her and share your feelings. Tell her it feels like sabotage and you need her support instead. You may find that there is an underlying reason she is doing this which has nothing to do with sabotage.

Just my two cents....

My husband feels like he is walking on eggshells when it comes to food. He is scared he will buy the wrong thing or eat the wron g thing in front of me. It's kinda sweet that he cares. It honestly doesn't bother me as much if people eat those things in front of me. My deal is I feel like she is pushing it on me. I mean... no one should have to say no to a Swiss cake roll every single day! My mom is a junk food junky and weighs maybe 105 soaking wet... as many times and ways I have tried to talk to her I just don't think she truly gets it.... that or she just doesn't want to...