venting -- emotional rollar coaster

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Okay, you didn't clarify that you really have tried those things and have done the yo-yo deal already. so, what was the question?

I am sorry, but for me i just could not maintain a weight loss of any significance presleeve. It was a major victory when i went froom 332 to 240 following weight watchers. I was an amazing success and kept it off for several years before finding the 300s again... but... I was still freaking obese even at 240 ( I am 5'5" woman)

Over time,I couldn't even lose weight and maintain any losses. It was absolute insanity, but I fought harder to stay under 300# than I have to fight to maintain a normal weight and size now. Surgery was the only way for me and if you have done the whole lose a bunch and regain a bunch and a half a few times you know exactly what i mean...

[samuelsmom 670]

@@Vikingsfan8178

It sure sounds like you have answered your own question about whether you can do this on your own! Don't feel bad about past failures. Obesity is a disease which needs treatment. You can feel good that you are seeking help! Honestly, I don't "feel" like I lost part of my stomach, in fact, I hate the term "sleeve gastrectomy." I prefer to call it "Stomach reduction," which is an accurate term! Stomach reduction surgery will help you achieve the health goals you are looking for.

[Vikingsfan8178 62]

@@Vikingsfan8178

It sure sounds like you have answered your own question about whether you can do this on your own! Don't feel bad about past failures. Obesity is a disease which needs treatment. You can feel good that you are seeking help! Honestly, I don't "feel" like I lost part of my stomach, in fact, I hate the term "sleeve gastrectomy." I prefer to call it "Stomach reduction," which is an accurate term! Stomach reduction surgery will help you achieve the health goals you are looking for.

that does sound better doesn't it? And makes a lot of sense! Thank you

[sara7272 10]

What is the book you referenced about psychological effects of WLS? I'd be very interested to read it! Thanks!

[Vikingsfan8178 62]

What is the book you referenced about psychological effects of WLS? I'd be very interested to read it! Thanks!

just bought it last night and started reading it

• The Emotional First Aid Kit: A Practical Guide to Life After Bariatric Surgery, Second Edition

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

@@Vikingsfan8178

Have you been to an introductory lecture about WLS yet by a bariatric surgeon? I think that experience (whether you use that particular surgeon or not) would answer a lot of your questions and address a lot of your feelings.

I know you know this, but ....

The sleeve (that's what I have) is only one of many tools we have to build and use to maintain our weight losses. Given your educational / athletic background I would imagine that you would be a superstar at weight loss maintenance after WLS.

Like you and so many others of us, I could lose the damned weight. And did, dozens of times. But I just could never keep it off.

I was sleeved last August at age 68, which just shows you how determined I am to conquer this beast that has been the very large fly in my life's ointment. (How strained is that metaphor!)

I am finally going to beat this beast.

[RJ'S/beginning 5,358]

Personally. I believe that you need to be totally committed and informed about any WLS. Being ready for the good and the bad that may or may not happen. It is a decision that is not reversible. It is a new set of possibilities and changes that need to be made to get to your goal and maintain it. A whole change in thinking about food and where it will play a roll in your new life.

Maybe you do need to give it ( dieting ) one more shot. If you don't succeed then you know you have other options. WLS is a personal choice that can only be made by you. We can all be here and tell you why we did it or how it has made a difference in our lives. But that is all we can do. That and be supportive when you do make the choice to have WLS.

With all your health issues I think you know that there is a time limit for you to make this decision. So research and hearing how others handled it can be a great help to you.

I wish you better health no matter what you decide. We are here to help anyway we can.

[Katcloudshepherd 630]

My husband has serious health issues and is on oxygen and cannot move around well. The surgeon attempted the surgery on him on 1/12/15. Couldn't do it because his abdomen is such a mess. He has a hernia on the upper abdomen and his lower abdomen is a jumbled mess of intestines covered only with a layer of skin.

To say I was devastated when the surgeon came out and told me he couldn't do it was an understatement.

I had visions of us being able to travel again. I had thought I would be able to dance with him again.

He is trying to do it without the surgery. I am not saying a word to him but I know how it is virtually impossible without the surgical tool. You have to BURN 3,500 calories that you DON'T consume in order to loose 1 pound!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is a challenge with a body WITHOUT health problems such as severe osteoarthritis.

Even if he did loose a significant amount of weight the sugeon says he still can't do the surgery.

With all that said. Think about your life if you don't have the surgery.

You have to make the final decision.

I KNOW I had to have the surgery because I sure as he!! couldn't have kept it off otherwise.

Good luck,

Kathleen

[Stevehud 1,790]

from another guys f point of view. I played football as well, i was a lineman but at 5 foot 8 a lot of my bulk to plug the holes was from fat which got worse as i got older. I remember telling a coach i wanted to lose 75 pounds in the offseason and he questioned why i would do so knowing i wouldn't be a lineman anymore. lol Like you i have/had a lot of health issues, asthma, chronic pneumonia, leg vein problems, back issues, sleep apnea, GERD, joint issues, arthritis, neuropathy etc. anyway, my high weight was in January 2013 i weighed 408. i got that down to 374 in March of 2014 my pre op diet weight was 362 and now 48 days post surgery im at 284 pounds. The health difference is amazing. Im a little older than you at 44 but not too much and yes i too had that im so young why remove parts of me...thought. but is it worth it? man, if i knew now...i would have done this ages ago. The changes in body and in health are drastic. always used to laugh when i heard people who lose weight say they have moe energy, but I most certainly do, i dont linger in bed anymore, i go to the gym and i used to ride the bike for 15 minutes in physical therapy and get off and almost die from fatigue and being out of breath, now i ride for 1/2 hour with no obvious discomfort ( except my ass from those bike seats, dang) but i also started a half hour circuit training program after i finish my bike work 4 times a week. My leg vein issue is all but gone, i can stand now for about ten times as long as i used to, walking as well. my sleep apnea is extremely lessened, i havent had an asthma attack since surgery, my GERD is gone, my back pain and joint pain is much lessened. I actually feel like a human for the first time , since i was young. Is it easy? Hell no. Is it worth it..Hell yes.

Hit me up if you have any private questions.

Good luck, and You can do this if you decide to.

[JackieBrown 183]

I totally understand the worry about whacking off a big part of your stomach. However...

I call my former stomach "the gunnysack." It was just a huge, shapeless blob that held as much as I stuffed into it. It was always hungry, it would happily make room for whatever I stuffed into my face, and it wasn't doing me any favors health wise.

What I have now is a trim purse that can only hold the important stuff, and so all the junk gets left out. I can't overeat without feeling horrible, and so it's sort of a behavior modifier for me. Fried foods now make me nauseous, sweets look disgusting, and I've found that what makes my little purse happiest is small amounts of Protein. Dessert is some yogurt with stewed prunes, which sounds like a nursing home special, but actually tastes like creme fraiche aux prunes Armagnac. Life is, in short, insanely good!

[defibvt 348]

@Vikingsfan8178 I feel you angst, I have been over weight most of my life, a few extra pounds here, a few extra pounds there. I have been successful with weight loss, but eventually gain it back, and then some. I hate the yo-yo of my life. My adventure in WLS started way before I joined this forum, it was enhanced when my sister had successful Sleeve last July, but it was my dad recent open heart bypass that had me. My mom had died of complications from her heart disease. I did not want to become a cardiac cripple, like I have seem way to many times. I am a nurse, been working in various ICU's for years (okay 27 years). I don't think of it as a personal loss, but a step up to the limitlessness potential of a healthier and more active me.

[Shrinkingmom 218]

I wish I had done this earlier than 36 but I use to think it was the "easy way" and I should be able to do it on my own. After I had uterine cancer, HTN, and severe sleep apnea, (all caused by my obesity) I decided I would try the "easy way". I am now 2 1/2 years out and I hope that I am conveying this with the caring and non-judgmental attitude that I feel. Everyone who tells you "you can eat all the same things just less of them" and "your body won't let you binge eat or overeat" are telling you the truth relating to about the first year. After the "honeymoon phase", which is that first year, it all gets just as hard as it use to be but now you have a tool to help out. You start wanting to go back to all those old habits, you can eat more at a time, you learn you can eat more often and maintennace of that weight loss is hard just like it was before.

I am not telling you this to discourage you or to scare you but to prepare you. At first, you don't want to eat and you can only eat a very small portion and no matter what you eat the weight just falls off. As you get further out and closer to goal, all that slows down and it becomes work. That is why, during that first year, you need to work on yourself, learn to eat healthy, leave out the foods that are bad for you except for a VERY rare treat, start exercising and build that lean muscle to burn those calories. I did this to get healthy, not to lose weight. My brother and sister in law had bypass 10 years ago but never learned about health or changed their habits and have now gained the weight back and are in worse shape than they were. You can say all day long that you will never gain it back but I know that unless my brain has been changed and my habits, it will all come back on eventually and that terrifies me. I have learned to love healthy food, love exercise, and love me. I still struggle with keeping off about 10 pounds that wants to come and go but I have maintained my goal wt with a lot of work and discipline. I know that this is a lifelong process and I would do it all again tomorrow!

Just make sure you are doing this for your health and not to lose weight. It will make a huge difference in your success. Good luck and I know you will do what is best for you and your family!

[lose2winagain 17]

I just recently had my duodenal switch surgery on feb 4 so I'm only 3 days out. I am already seeing a drop in my blood pressure and my blood sugar! The o.ly regret that I have is not doing this sooner

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Shrinking mom - I agree very strongly and I feel sometimes like that message isn't heard. Honeymoon period is real.

What I slightly disagree about is that it goes back to being as hard as it always was. I am 3 years post sleeve maintaining for the last 2. I worked harder (and failed ) to maintain under 300# than I do to maintain a fit and normal sized body. It is effort but it is nothing like my hopeless struggle presleeve

[whirlwen 65]

I am having my sleeve tomorrow and I have to say that it was the hardest decision of my life. I have struggled with my weight since about age 10 and have dieted and regained so many times that my body just flat out refuses to diet or lose weight any longer. Like so many uninformed people, I thought it was the easy way out. But at age 46, the thought of continuing this struggle wore me down and I made myself a deal at the beginning of 2014--I would try my hardest to lose weight on my own and if I wasn't seeing some success by summer, I would consider WLS. I walked 3 miles a day, and tried Weight Watchers and Sparkpeople and just couldn't stick with any eating plan and ended up yoyo-ing again.

The thing that made the decision for me was when I thought about what my life would be like if I didn't have the surgery, I felt depressed and anxious. When I thought about having the surgery, I was nervous, but I felt hopeful. It truly was a gut feeling (no pun intended). Do your homework, but then listen to yourself, the right answer is inside of you!