Jealousy

[Paulax 8]

Edited to add: If someone asks me how I lost this weight and I feel they would value from this information, I am totally open because again, I am not ashamed or secretive.

And as for my 3 pedigree pussy cats, they are the best things I have spent good money on ever. lol!

[DynamoMini 1]

I think that I had a profound experience last week when I went to a meditation, yoga and tea workshop.

The leader said, think of a person you love. Place them in your mind in a circle of the love, with all the warmth, acceptance, vitality and belief in them. Feel that energy, now remove them and place yourself in that circle. Feel that energy for you, around you, and within you.

We all deserve that love and acceptance from ourselves as well as the world. But so much of my self esteem gets into how others view me, but the place where I can control it, the only place of true power; is, much more importantly, how I view myself.

Try this exercise, I was shocked how much I needed my own surround of love and acceptance.

Hugs to you all...

[mboulis 0]

Can I ask you why you have gained this weight back?

I accept complete and total responsibility for regaining. I lost 101 pounds within the first year---95 of it before I even had a fill so , as most people say, the weightloss before the fill was icing on the cake. Got my first fill 14 months out. Lost six more pounds. Weightloss stopped. Eating only 1,000 calories a day, exercising *and* working as a nurse (constantly on my feet and on the go), I still am not sure *why* it came to a halt but it did. My weight stayed at the 101 loss for about three months.

I started battling depression (and I still am) and was dealing with some things in my life that I never thought would happen. I did not know *how* to deal with them so I dealt with them the same way I had in the past---food. The band is a tool and I learned it can be very easy to eat around.

I *thought* I had conquered my food demons. I have not, obviously. My doctor thought if anybody would be successful with the band, it'd be me. I was for a while. I was one of his success stories. I am proof positive, though, that anybody can slip back.

As for the original question about jealousy---the only jealousy I noticed was my stepdaughter. She had gained quite a bit of weight and when I started losing, she would make smart aleck remarks...during the liquid phase when I was using Protein Drinks, she made remarks about the waste of money on them, how *she* knew how to "really" lose weight and would "if I wanted too" and that she would "never allow myself to get so fat as to make somebody pay for me to have surgery". :angry

To this day, she is convinced I had a gastric bypass. I have no clue who told her that but that is what she thinks. I never discussed my surgery with her or her brothers. They are a very judgemental bunch and it wasn't really anything up for discussion with them. They have their own assumptions.

[Missy0224 6]

I accept complete and total responsibility for regaining. I lost 101 pounds within the first year---95 of it before I even had a fill so , as most people say, the weightloss before the fill was icing on the cake. Got my first fill 14 months out. Lost six more pounds. Weightloss stopped. Eating only 1,000 calories a day, exercising *and* working as a nurse (constantly on my feet and on the go), I still am not sure *why* it came to a halt but it did. My weight stayed at the 101 loss for about three months.

I started battling depression (and I still am) and was dealing with some things in my life that I never thought would happen. I did not know *how* to deal with them so I dealt with them the same way I had in the past---food. The band is a tool and I learned it can be very easy to eat around.

I *thought* I had conquered my food demons. I have not, obviously. My doctor thought if anybody would be successful with the band, it'd be me. I was for a while. I was one of his success stories. I am proof positive, though, that anybody can slip back.

As for the original question about jealousy---the only jealousy I noticed was my stepdaughter. She had gained quite a bit of weight and when I started losing, she would make smart aleck remarks...during the liquid phase when I was using Protein drinks, she made remarks about the waste of money on them, how *she* knew how to "really" lose weight and would "if I wanted too" and that she would "never allow myself to get so fat as to make somebody pay for me to have surgery". :angry

To this day, she is convinced I had a gastric bypass. I have no clue who told her that but that is what she thinks. I never discussed my surgery with her or her brothers. They are a very judgemental bunch and it wasn't really anything up for discussion with them. They have their own assumptions.

I didn't by any means to offend you in any way. I guess what I meant is that I don't feel sorry for people who don't try even when they have this tool. I don't know what it's like to go through a depression because I've never had to experience it. I'm sure it is really hard to go through one while on this wonderful journey. I do wish you the best. And as far as the jealousy part, everyone, I think has experienced it atleast once in their life and it is a sad world we live in. But you just have to take one day at a time and enjoy your life. Best of luck to you.

[DynamoMini 1]

missy0224 - you story is heartbreaking to me. I hope you have a team of cheerleaders around you helping you sort this out. If we could do it alone, we would have. I have a therapist, trainer and acupuncturist working with me on my transformation. I really hope you'll believe that you truly deserve a healthy life. I know you do.

Best wishes on your journey!

[derbygirl 0]

I have lost a friend because of it. We had other problems, so it's perhaps unfair to blame it all on the band, but we quit speaking less than one month after I had surgery. And she never once asked me how much I'd lost during that time, even though she knew I had doctor's visits.

She'd had gastric bypass two years prior. She was always bigger than me, but after surgery she was smaller. She enjoyed it thoroughly. I think it annoyed her that she'd be bigger again. (She wasn't that much smaller than me when I had surgery.)

I don't miss her though.

[derbygirl 0]

I told everyone I know that I have the band. You know what? They can like it or not...I could care less.

I was concerned, before surgery, that people thought I was taking the easy way out, but I recognized that after 20+ years of dieting, weight loss surgery was my ONLY way out.

And here's the big question...WHY DOES IT MATTER if it's the easy way or the hard way? People who say that are missing THE POINT. The GOAL is to have as many productive and happy years as possible! Who cares how you reach the goal...as long as you reach it.

[isabelle290 0]

I couldn't agree more. If it is the "easy" way out then why hasn't there been a law passed to stop insurance companies from not covering the surgery.

[toniteach 0]

I don't know if it's jealousy or not, but my best friend---who struggles with weight to on a small degree, but LOVES to eat out/get together to eat with me, has not contacted me once since I've been banded over a week ago. Not even to check in with me. And I sent an email to her and her husband letting them know I was banded. Still no word.....

.....this saddens me to no end. I'm just feeling rejected and upset. Feels good to just post this and let it out.....thanks for the forum!!!

Toni

[Dani-X 0]

Hey Toni,

I'm sorry to hear that your friend hasn't contacted you yet. Just remember it's change for everybody around us too and she might not know how to deal with it just yet. I'd give her a call in a few weeks to see how she's doing... she might really be needing to hear from you.

Best,

Dani

[babygrl1234 6]

I had a bit of an "epiphany" last night...the next fat person that tells me "Oh, you took the easy way out" (or anything similar to that) I'm going to say "If it's so easy, why don't you do it!?" I'm sick of sanctimonious wind bags deciding I took an easy route. If it were easy, and it's NOT, but if it were...WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT????

My Aunt was on the phone with my cousin (who is also very overweight) talking about how good I was looking and how I had surgery. My cousin proceeded to say "Yeah because she couldn't do it the old-fashioned way" my Aunt told her that maybe she (my cousin) should try a new way since obviously the old fashioned way wasn't working for her either.

One of my favorite quotes is "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results".

[green 6]

I accept complete and total responsibility for regaining. I lost 101 pounds within the first year---95 of it before I even had a fill so , as most people say, the weightloss before the fill was icing on the cake. Got my first fill 14 months out. Lost six more pounds. Weightloss stopped. Eating only 1,000 calories a day, exercising *and* working as a nurse (constantly on my feet and on the go), I still am not sure *why* it came to a halt but it did. My weight stayed at the 101 loss for about three months.

I started battling depression (and I still am) and was dealing with some things in my life that I never thought would happen. I did not know *how* to deal with them so I dealt with them the same way I had in the past---food. The band is a tool and I learned it can be very easy to eat around.

I *thought* I had conquered my food demons. I have not, obviously. :target: My doctor thought if anybody would be successful with the band, it'd be me. I was for a while. I was one of his success stories. I am proof positive, though, that anybody can slip back.

As for the original question about jealousy---the only jealousy I noticed was my stepdaughter. She had gained quite a bit of weight and when I started losing, she would make smart aleck remarks...during the liquid phase when I was using Protein drinks, she made remarks about the waste of money on them, how *she* knew how to "really" lose weight and would "if I wanted too" and that she would "never allow myself to get so fat as to make somebody pay for me to have surgery". :angry

To this day, she is convinced I had a gastric bypass. I have no clue who told her that but that is what she thinks. I never discussed my surgery with her or her brothers. They are a very judgemental bunch and it wasn't really anything up for discussion with them. They have their own assumptions. :girl_hug:

This is a sad story, girl, and a completely understandable one. But please don't beat yourself up. You already have the hardware and you can get yourself back into the saddle and do it again. I myself am a depressive. This has been part of my genetic inheritance and I have been battling this throughout my life. You have my sympathy and my respect. As for your stepdaughter, the girl is a bitch and will destroy you if she can. Pay no attention to her.

[LLSibley 1]

My Aunt was on the phone with my cousin (who is also very overweight) talking about how good I was looking and how I had surgery. My cousin proceeded to say "Yeah because she couldn't do it the old-fashioned way" my Aunt told her that maybe she (my cousin) should try a new way since obviously the old fashioned way wasn't working for her either.

One of my favorite quotes is "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results".

I really like that quote and I think that all of us who have had wls were completely insane because you all were probably like me and did the same thing over and over with the same results. I wish I had kept track of all the weight i lost and money I've spent in the past 59 years pre banded. I'll bet the money would have paid for banding years ago. That includes pills, books, organizations like weight watchers and everything else. Hindsite is always better than foresite.

[DynamoMini 1]

I really like that quote and I think that all of us who have had wls were completely insane because you all were probably like me and did the same thing over and over with the same results. I wish I had kept track of all the weight i lost and money I've spent in the past 59 years pre banded. I'll bet the money would have paid for banding years ago. That includes pills, books, organizations like weight watchers and everything else. Hindsite is always better than foresite

LLSibley - I totally agree.

Whenever my current weight loss isn't quite as much as I want, I think about the diets of the past, where weight might have come off faster but I felt hungry and deprived, then with the goal in sight, I'd start to regain the weight because I couldn't beat myself up any more or my "will" power just ran out of steam. The band is a wonderful tool to alert me when I've eaten enough.

One of my favorite quotes is "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results".

I loved the quote too!

[Dani-X 0]

It's so true! The band is a TOOL... it baffles my boyfriend that people think of it as PFM (pure f@c*ing magic). The band helps us make the right choices but it's the choices that we make that ultimately determine how well our weight loss is going.

Kudos to your aunt for stepping up, baby!