10 days before surgery - having anxiety and doubts, help!

[2NewBeginningsxoxo 24]

I really need honest opinions from someone who has went through with the surgery. I am scheduled for surgery on Feb 9th and I am having crazy moments of serious doubt and regret. Please listen to my thoughts and give me advice.

I want this surgery to get control of my PCOS and edema. I want to have more energy, feel better about myself and be healthier. The reason I am having doubts is because I am afraid I won't be able to have a normal life - I'm afraid I won't be able to go out to eat with my husband and eat normal (but smaller portion) foods. I'm afraid I won't be able to get in enough Protein and I will lose a lot of hair. I'm afraid I will end up accidentally choosing the wrong food and getting sick all the time. I'm afraid I won't be able to enjoy any of the foods I do now. I'm mostly afraid I will regret the surgery for the reasons I just listed and I will no longer be my happy self. I don't want to lose the weight but end up being unhappy.

Today I am on day 4 of my 2 week liquid diet and I cheated this afternoon when I was having so many doubts. I had some chicken, so I'm hoping I didn't mess up too much to have my surgery. I haven't cheated at all other than this evening.

Please tell me what you all think. What is it like for you since surgery? How long until I feel normal.

[melodyssss 30]

What you are feeling is totally normal. I went through the same emotions.. even up to the time i was on the gurney getting ready for surgery. For me, I prayed about the surgery from the beginning of the process and asked God to close the door if the surgery wasn't for me. He opened every door from the insurance approval to the actual surgery itself. So deep down i knew that this was something i needed to do for my health. I am 2 1/2 months out and i don't regret it at all. I still go out to eat with my family. I just eat alot less and pay attention to getting the Protein in first. The good thing is, i can just eat off their plates or i just order a Soup so you get off cheaper. LOL. Before surgery i couldn't walk to the end of my street without being totally wiped out. Now i either walk 3-4 times around my block or walk on the treadmill for 30-45 minutes and i am feeling great. So, just to reassure you what you are feeling is normal. And yes, this is a big change, but once you start dropping the pounds it gets kind of exciting. I urge you to pray about it and go with your gut. :-)

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

I had surgery on 9/18/14 and have zero regrets. I had no pain, no complications. None. I wish I had done this 20 years ago. I have gone out to eat several times. I simply eat slow and get a doggie bag. I have no desire to cheat. (Then again I was never a cheat meal dieter). I have tolerated every food I have tried. Everyone is different, but I for one cannot begin to express how happy I am with my decision.

[joatsaint 2,814]

I went through the same feelings and doubts you are having. I even backed out the 1st time I scheduled a doctor's consultation. A month later I had made up my mind to commit to surgery.

For me, it boiled down to answering 2 questions:
1) Do I want to be in this situation or worse a year from now?
2) Is the pain of staying like I am worse than the pain of change?

And you know my answers already. I committed to surgery and was willing to live with the consequences. And vowed not to regret my choice. After all, there was no going back, once 80% of my stomach was removed. So, no use regretting what can't be changed. :-)

"The reason I am having doubts is because I am afraid I won't be able to have a normal life - I'm afraid I won't be able to go out to eat with my husband and eat normal (but smaller portion) foods."
- Within a year, I was eating anything I wanted. Funny thing was, I no longer had a taste or desire for most of the flavors I used to love and crave. I still love steak, Pasta, rice, pizza... but I don't crave or "need" to eat any particular food anymore. I can be just as satisfied eating chicken breast as I would eating a rice and gravy. ( I was going to say "pizza" instead of rice & gravy, but even I don't believe that statement! But I can honestly say that I can pass on eating pizza without the slightest regret. ) I can eat at any restaurant without fear of not finding something I want.

"I'm afraid I won't be able to get in enough Protein and I will lose a lot of hair. I'm afraid I will end up accidentally choosing the wrong food and getting sick all the time. I'm afraid I won't be able to enjoy any of the foods I do now."
- For the 1st few months, getting in the recommended Protein levels can be a challenge... at least it was for me. I viewed my doctor's recommended protein levels as something to work towards. My only concern was staying hydrated [ which was not a problem, thanks to Crystal Light lemonade :-) ]... the rest would come with time and healing.
- Hair loss can be a problem. I did not really notice it, but I have extra thick hair. I only noticed that it was a month longer between hair cuts. In 6 months, my hair was growing normally again. But I made sure protein came first in my diet - that might have made the difference.

"I'm mostly afraid I will regret the surgery for the reasons I just listed and I will no longer be my happy self. I don't want to lose the weight but end up being unhappy."
- I've found that I'm still me, 2 years later, maybe a bit more extroverted... okay a LOT more extroverted. And my whole way of thinking about food has changed. I used to "know" that I'd be hungry every 2 hours and have to plan for it. I'd get these cravings for pizza, cherrys, hamburgers, that would compel me to go out and get some before I could sleep. That's all gone. Food does not dominate my life anymore. I still eat out at buffet restaurants - I don't feel like I'm not getting my money's worth. I go to hang out with my friends, not for the food.
- Once food was no longer the center of my life, I was in control. And it's a great feeling. Being the same size as my co-workers feels great. Not being embarrassed eating in front of others feels great. Eating a small piece of cake or some ice cream at a party - and not feeling like everyone is looking at me thinking, "Look at that fat pig, no wonder he's fat!". Being able to buy clothes that fit AND are the style I like is wonderful - I don't have to settle for what fits.

"Today I am on day 4 of my 2 week liquid diet and I cheated this afternoon when I was having so many doubts. I had some chicken, so I'm hoping I didn't mess up too much to have my surgery. I haven't cheated at all other than this evening. "
-I cheated on my pre-op diet too. But I limited my cheating to pure protein, no carbs at all!!!!! And I still lost 10lbs in 7 days. From experience, I know that low carb eating keeps my weight down. I just couldn't stick with it long term without the help of VSG surgery.

"How long until I feel normal. "
- I've never felt normal - pre or post surgery. So I can't answer that one. :-P

- I hope this helps put you at ease. And watch my video below on my pre-op freak out and food funerals. That may help too.

Edited January 30, 2015 by joatsaint

[az2590 4]

It's totally normal to feel like that. I just had my surgery done on the 13th of this month. I had your same thoughts and doubts but I read a lot of people's testimonials and their journey and I have yet to come across someone that regrets it and they are all able to eat out(just smaller portions of course). It's only been two weeks but I feel great, I've lost that anxiety to eat. I haven't regretted it yet. Good luck!!

Edited January 30, 2015 by az2590

[woo woo 872]

My husband and I eat out together at least twice every single weekend. We did this even when I was still on liquids only.

Restaurants are very accommodating, I ordered a chicken type Soup and asked for the broth only.

Now I order whatever looks good and is mostly Protein.

[2NewBeginningsxoxo 24]

You are all so wonderful. Thank you for your opinions it's exactly what I needed. I will keep you posted.

[Pac-woman 325]

@@2NewBeginningsxoxo

HI there, I will give you my honest opinion being that I am 3 weeks out of surgery. Everything you felt I did and then some.

First, I went with the surgery because of your very same reasons. Health issues. No doubt about it. This is not to become a diva, a fashionista, an Olympic athlete. This is to get off the "feeling like shit" wagon.

Pre surgery jitters? _ I sure did. I was doing so well on the pre-op diet I said, I can do this myself. WRONG. I still went with the surgery because I knew deep down inside I am not disciplined that way. The only reason why I did so well on the preop diet is because of fear of contaminating myself for surgery or any other life threatening thing that may happen. Yes I cheated too. I even looked up how long it takes for digestion (2 hrs) so I know when I can cheat. (chicken Soup never tasted so good).

Normal life? - You will have a normal life once you get over the hump of healing. Which healing alone is 6-8 weeks, meaning you will eat like a chipmunk. I hear at 6 mths it starts getting better and at a full year, you will be able to eat a kid's portion meal and get full. (It will be up to you if you cheat, eat more and stretch it)

Going out to dinner? It will be a struggle the first 6-8 weeks, no lie. On my8th day I went to Boston Market and got chicken soup. I was only able to put down 2 ounces of broth down. I had to take the rest home. Yes, it was embarrassing, and frustrating. But shit happens. Your esophagus is the size of a pencil because of swelling. So figure putting food down at the width of a pencil. Your taste buds will change after surgery. At first it will be a radical change. (But it gets better after a while). You will feel like a pregnant woman not liking anything and things that smelled good to you will stink. (It did for me anyway)

You will be able to eat enough Protein with time, but at first they rather you concentrate on hydration if anything. The hair loss thing, I hear it comes like 4 mths after and it is temporary. Some shedding nothing dramatic. Heck we lose 100 hairs a day normally. When I stress, I can grab handful of hairs from my head in the shower. So that will be nothing new. Doesn't matter how many Vitamins or Protein, it will happen from what I have read in the forums. (I am not there yet)

Wrong foods? Your stomach will be so small at first that you will WANT something nutritional, and not crap. Because one noodle can fill you up. lol during your 6-8 weeks of internal healing you will know what your stomach can handle or not. It is your very own little newborn to nurse. You will go through a testing period of food. You will nibble here and there and see what you like or not like. Common sense will be to stick to protein first always.

Enjoyment of food- Yes you will be able to enjoy food eventually after you heal and learn your quantity. Instead of having an entire wrap sandwich you will eat half. (You will have lots of leftovers!)

Think of it like this, you will eat the portion that should be given to a child. It is nutritional and satisfactory with no gluttony whatsoever.

Now, ask yourself. Do you want to be happy with food and fat forever? Do you want to diet on your own and fail eventually and start all over? Or do you want the surgery to help you have self control and live a happy energetic life without focusing on food as the main event?

[bobbyswife 862]

I've said this on many posts before, but here it is again. My tonsillectomy a few years ago was a thousand times worse than my VSG. It's the best thing I've EVER done for myself, hands down.

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

.......... How long until I feel normal.

Define normal. Is it "normal" to be morbidly obese? Is it normal to worry about whether you fit in a chair? On a plane ride? Is it normal not be able to go into a department store and shop for clothing? Only you define what's normal for you your life and people redefine their lives all the time.

[Pac-woman 325]

@@BLERDgirl

Well said. Also, like my psych doc said once, "what is normal"? lol

[bobbyswife 862]

I have a totally new normal, and it's light years better than the old normal!

[jumpingin 6]

Hi everyone, I just joined and after reading this page my presurgery jitters are subsiding. Thank you for the topic, answer forum. My surgery is the 11th of Feb.

[RedSalamander 148]

I think you've already gotten some great advice and thoughts. But just to reassure you even more--I am only 16 days out. And for quite a bit at first, I felt sad and prevented from living a "normal life". But now, a few things aside and other things tweaked a bit, things are back to normal. Are my husband and I going out for nice dinners? Nope. But that'll return in a few weeks! I have gone out to eat with my family (I had a cup of Tomato Soup and ate probably 1/4 of it, ha!), gone for coffee with friends, gone to 2 parties, etc. I'm not eating at most of these things (although now that I'm on purees I could have had some yogurt and hummus if I wanted!), but no one has noticed or commented. And I feel totally fine now! I am not sad not to be eating, or hungry.

It is a bummer that right now I can't meet my friends for lunch very easily, but that'll come soon. I'll be honest--the first week out, I felt tired and sore and sorry for myself. But now that I'm feeling better, my outlook is much better and I feel normal! And YES I'm going to hit restaurants and eat delicious food at them. Hell yeah! Just, not that much. WOOHOO LEFTOVERS.

[2NewBeginningsxoxo 24]

That is great! Thank you so much for the replies this is making me feel a lot better! I think it's just the shock of the liquid diet - it's not easy. Can you l please tell me what Vitamins I should buy. I know I need a chewable multi-v but I'm having a hard time finding chewable Calcium and b-12 other than the gummies which I was told is a no no. Also, can I swallow a tiny Biotin pill?