Please Help!

[pupichupi 124]

Ok, so I have a son that is 9 almost 10 year old son who currently weigh's 145 lbs, and I am very worried for his health. I have removed most of the junk food that is in my house, I keep fruits and vegetables and other healthy Snacks that I can eat in the house for my kids to eat. I worry for my son because he is so over weight at a young age and I don't want him to grow up and have issues like I did with my weight. I want to help him now and that was one of the reasons I myself got healthy with my weight loss surgery. My son is a sports child, loves to play sports and his biggest sport is football which he plays from Aug. 1st through late November 4 - 5 days a week for 2 hour practice and then weekend games. While playing this sport he did loose the weight and has since gained it back, and now he is wrestling but it is only 1 day a week practice as he does it with our local boys and girls club. I need to help him now, and need all of your help to help me to help him. I am the only person in our house that works at the moment so money is in short supply, and I have looked into gyms and stuff like that where he could use equipment to help him with getting fit, and none of the local gyms will allow him to use any equipment even with a parent with him due to his age. I have checked the YMCA and they also won't allow him to use equipment with a parent. We also have a very small apartment with very little space to do exercising to videos (which I am working on moving rooms around to change this). We also live in New England and it is very cold here so to go for long walks at this time is very difficult with the weather. Most days we don't see temp's above 20 right now and so that is very hard to get motivated to go out and get exercise. I know my son likes Snacks and he even will eat dinner and shortly after dinner he is hungry again. He will sneak food, and eat late at night when I tell him no more. I am looking for some ideas of ways to help him and snack ideas of ways to help him at this point. If anyone has any ideas to help me help my son, I would love to hear any and all suggestions! Thank you!!!

[AngryViking 217]

I think it's more about food intake than lack of exercise. This is coming from my experience with my 9, almost 10 year old son who is around 100lbs. He plays basketball right now 3 days a week, but it's the Snacks that are his downfall. I've had to restrict them and sometimes flat out tell him no when he asks. If your son is sneaking food, remove those things that are enticing to him. My son is now getting stuff like apples, cheese sticks, grape tomatoes, carrots, etc. cheese Nips (his fave) are a sometime snack. I am trying to teach him that an hour before dinner is not the right time to snack and that he can wait.

It's hard. Really hard. I'm trying to model healthier habits as I'm sure you are as well. I was the fat kid/teenager/adult and that is not a road I want him to travel. Good luck!!

[AWholeNewMama 34]

What about beverages? Does he consume a lot of juice or soda?

I have to tell you, the sneaking food and eating late at night is a bit of a red flag to me. Is there anything that's stressing him out? School, or friends? Something that would cause him to overeat? If you do think it's purely related to enjoyment of Snacks, then I agree with AngryViking, the best thing to do is remove his go-to Snacks and replace them with healthier options.

I feel for you. My daughter is a big snacker. She would snack all afternoon between school and dinner if I let her. I finally had to make a rule where she gets ONE snack after school, and that's it until dinner. I also require that the snack involves a fruit or vegetable. That seems to help keep her full longer.

I think your best bet for getting him moving more is to do activities with him. Is there an indoor track you can walk at? You said you have a YMCA, what about swim classes, or the family free swim hours? I know my local Y also has open gym time where kids can use the basketball courts.

Good luck!

[pupichupi 124]

He drinks mostly Water, and usually a glass of milk for dinner. As for the snacking and having to do with stress from school or friends, I don't think so he is a very happy kid and always smiling and just a happy kid. I think he just likes to eat, if I were to remove the Snacks I would have to remove everything and lock it up in my room, Cereal, bread, cause what he will do is make himself a Peanut Butter sandwich for a snack, or he will have a bowl of Cereal, and I don't buy the sugar cereals it's just he is eating more than he should be. I don't buy potato chips or crackers, or stuff that I know are no good, so he just picks up stuff that can be ok in moderation and will eat it to excess? As for the exercise stuff, yes he could do free swim and basketball at the Y I just want to teach him to be healthy he also needs to keep moving. I have a thyroid issue and I had him checked for that and he doesn't have that issue, I am just scared for him. I don't want him to develop diabetes or heart issues?

[highdesertblue 70]

Sodas, even diet sodas are so bad for kids. There are usually walking clubs in the malls. Many malls allow people to come in and walk even before the stores open. We had to eliminate unhealthy Snacks in our house, or someone will eat them. I wish you both well!

[pupichupi 124]

I don't allow my kids soda except on special occasions. I never have it in the house, and they aren't allowed soda when we go to a store or anything. The only time they get it is mostly at parties? Even then they don't always get it, my kids are big Water drinkers, so it's definitely not soda issues, and I don't have unhealthy Snacks in the house, I keep as much healthy stuff in the house as possible.

[InspirationMySon 135]

It could also be his age. I know my brother was prepubescent at the age of 9-10 & he was a heavier kid. His face & belly were very round & he would eat non stop if you let him. Then about a year later he started to grow & what was once a pudgy face & belly started to become proportionate to his new frame.

I would say that if (key word IF) you don't like outdoor winter activities like snow shoeing, cross country skiing or sledding it is hard to get your child to do it. Although my son much younger at 2.5 yo loves to just get in his snow gear & go out & walk around. Although it's not always possibly because of safety ie ice, wind chill or the fact we have gotten 50" of snow in the last 5 days;)

I would just suggest you keep doing what you are doing limiting unhealthy Snacks & encouraging healthy beverages. And asking him questions about his "life" outside home should help with seeing if there is an external stressor on him.

145# seems like it could be on the high end of normal depending on his height & build. So talk to his ped next visit & see what they say.

[pupichupi 124]

@@InspirationMySon, I was thinking that maybe it could be that he is going to enter puberty too, and he does have his 10 year appt. coming up and so I plan to talk to his doctor about it then too. I am just very worried for him and growing up the way I did. I don't want that for him, he is heavier than I was at his age, and I know how it was for me. So as for going outside and playing in the snow, he loves to do that, I don't particularly like it so I don't do much of it, but he loves it. I am just trying very hard to keep him from eating unhealthy and junky. The exercise part being in the winter just is very hard for all of us, but I am looking into alternative options. So we will see what we can get him doing. Thanks!!!

[InspirationMySon 135]

@@InspirationMySon, I was thinking that maybe it could be that he is going to enter puberty too, and he does have his 10 year appt. coming up and so I plan to talk to his doctor about it then too. I am just very worried for him and growing up the way I did. I don't want that for him, he is heavier than I was at his age, and I know how it was for me. So as for going outside and playing in the snow, he loves to do that, I don't particularly like it so I don't do much of it, but he loves it. I am just trying very hard to keep him from eating unhealthy and junky. The exercise part being in the winter just is very hard for all of us, but I am looking into alternative options. So we will see what we can get him doing. Thanks!!!

The fact that you are even thinking about it shows that you are going to do your best to ensure he grows up with a better sense of how & why to eat then maybe either of us did.

[pupichupi 124]

Thanks I really think your right, I have gotten him so far to loose 4 lbs in 2 weeks since we started to implement the new healthier eating and working out!!! I am very proud of him!!!

[blashlee 509]

Has he seen a doctor and had his glands and everything checked out? If you've removed snack and junk food and he's an active child but still gaining it could be something medical.

[pupichupi 124]

He has had his thyroid checked as I have a low thyroid so that was my first concern, but his was ok! He has Lost 4 lbs since I have started his diet and I am very happy for him! He also does have a doc appt. in April so when we go to that I am going to talk to his doctor about his weight!

[Debbie Jean 406]

My opinion here and I fully expect most to disagree with me

It sounds like your heart is in the right place but putting him on a "diet" at his age makes me cringe and could easily backfire. The "sneak eating" is a red flag. The fact that you are happy he lost 4 lbs troubles me. Do you weigh him??? Yikes!! How much of your interaction about food revolves around weight problems and dieting?

Please remember this is not about your weight problems. It's about his. This isn't something you should be doing on your own. You should be coordinating with his doctor.

Model good behavior both in eating and exercise. Encourage healthy food choices by buying good foods and providing opportunities for being active. With puberty on the horizon he can grow into his weight!

Please encourage him to talk about the sneak eating. He obviously fears your judgement or he would eat in front of you. You need to figure out how and why that happened and how to fix it.

If you are really concerned talk to his doctor, see a nutritionist, see a therapist. You know even happy kids can have issues that need outside help. I fear that your weight history may be interfering with your ability to really focus on what your son really needs.

BTW I have absolutely no doubt that you love the socks off your wonderful son and would walk over hot coals for him! ☺️

[pupichupi 124]

@@Debbie Jean, Thanks for all you have said, and I do love my kids to pieces and I just want both my kids to live long healthy lives. I plan on talking to his doctor when we go for his appt. next month about all that has been talked about here. I just want to clarify one thing and that is I didn't put him on a diet per say, I just removed all the junk from the house and stocked it with healthier options and the weighing himself, that is his choice, he wants to do it, I don't make him. He doesn't even see me weighing myself cause I do it in my bedroom on Monday mornings before he is even awake? I know he has seen me have problems with my weight, but now he sees me healthy and happier than I have been in a really long time, so I think he wants to follow my example of being healthy.

[drmeow 323]

My advice, like Debbie Jean's, is to back off. I am sure you mean very well and are worried about his health, but other than making sure there are healthy choices available and modeling good eating and exercise, I would leave it to him. As a kid I was not overweight but before puberty just a tiny bit pudgy at most. My mother made it her life's work to nag me about what i ate, restrict sweets, etc. The result was that I ate in secret. (There were also other family issues that fueled my eating certainly) If I was out shopping with a friend (ie, no Mom), I would buy a bunch of candy to binge on later in my room.

When I hit puberty I became completely normal size but I struggled constantly with wanting to binge (only occasionally gave in and was very active, so could maintain). Once I married I began gaining weight every year due to a bad relationship, and my mother continued to nag me about my weight. My response was to eat even more, usually in private.

I call my mother a "food cop." I know in my heart she meant well (she'd had some weight problems at one time) but it backfired. I now have 3 kids, two of which can eat anything and not gain (thanks to husband's genes) and one, 15 yo ds, who gains easily and struggles with not overeating. I was concerned when he began gaining a lot around age 11, but forced myself not to say anything. I also did not restrict what he could eat - I continued to buy some limited junk food along with healthy things. I knew that the more I pushed, the more he would just eat on the sly, as I had done.

It took awhile but on his own this year he has opted to cut way back on the junk food, asked me to put it out of sight or not buy it (I only buy a little bit and keep it put away for dd) He's also become more interested in lifting weights so he and I split the cost of a few dumbbells for him to do some basic curls, etc. for now. He doesn't play sports so doesn't have that automatic activity, and right now gets little exercise but in better weather he will ride his bike and sometimes run.

I think at your son's age it's better not to focus on exercise as something we "have to do" such as using machines at the gym. Help him find some other activities that are fun - maybe he can learn martial arts or ice skating (hockey?) in the winters.

I know your heart is in the right place and you are a great mom to want to help him, just be careful it doesn't backfire. I would also focus on how he feels when eating better and exercising, not the scale. Even if he's the one weighing himself, he's doing it b/c he knows you're concerned about it. {{{{hugs}}}}