Guess what? You just got a new job!

[Jean McMillan 2,973]

Guess what? You just got a new job! Isn’t that exciting? Except…it’s a tough job: you will now be the CEO of Lifetime Weight Management. But don’t worry. You can do it, and the pay is fabulous.

We’ll get to the job news, but first I’m going to tell you a job story of my own. I’m a writer and story-teller: that’s my job. Often my stories are fiction, but every word in this story is true.

Many years ago, I attended a business luncheon with a coworker who was naturally slim. The food was delicious: a huge, flaky croissant filled with chicken and grape salad, a mountain of potato chips (I adore potato chips), and strawberry shortcake for dessert. About one-third of the way through her meal, my coworker stopped eating and pushed her plate away.

“What’s the matter?” I said. “Don’t you like the food?”

“Oh, it’s fine,” she said. “I just can’t eat any more.”

She must have seen the baffled look on my face, because she added an explanation. “I eat a certain amount, and then I reach a point where I just can’t eat another bite, so I stop eating. I’ve always been this way.”

I wanted to offer to finish her lunch for her, but was too ashamed of my own greed to suggest it, and I was busy digesting what she had just said. I couldn’t remember ever in my life reaching the point where I couldn’t eat another bite of food. And although I had tried more diets and slimming plans than I could name, it had never occurred to me that I might become slim simply by stopping eating when I became full. My coworker was effortlessly slim and I was effortlessly obese. I subsided into silent envy over her natural advantage.

I spent the next 20 years suffering from morbid obesity and developing numerous health problems as a result of it. Finally, after much research and thought, I decided that weight loss surgery was my best option. On September 19, 2007, I had adjustable gastric band surgery. Ever since then I have been learning how to eat, and live, like a slim person. During that time, I’ve accumulated a lot of information, and have cultivated a lot of opinions that may not agree with yours, but of everything I’ve learned during my weight loss journey, there’s one truth you need to heed.

Like it or not, no bariatric surgery of any description is magic. The WLS patients I know have all worked hard for their success. Adjustable gastric band. Roux-en-Y. Vertical sleeve gastrectomy. Sleeve plication. Duodenal switch. The surgical procedure happens only once (good Lord willin’ and the creek don’t rise), but one thing, common to us all, happens every day for the rest of our lives. Weight loss and weight loss maintenance require attention, commitment and action every day for the rest of our lives. It’s a job – a career – we must do or die.

A smart, mature, diligent acquaintance who did her research before she took the weight loss surgery plunge said to me once, “I had no idea how much work this was going to be.”

The work is not just in the weight loss but in lifestyle changes. The work doesn’t end once you reach your goal weight, but believe me: it is so very, very worth it. I love this new job of mine. I love the improved health and high energy and increased self-esteem and size 4 clothing, and I hope I never grow tired of it or take it all for granted.

A lifetime of work ahead of you can seem overwhelming. Think of it as a lifetime of learning. Learning is a good thing. If you stop learning, you stop growing. And if you stop growing, you die.

My mother, who struggled with obesity most of her life, used to say that there was a tall, thin brunette inside her just waiting to get out. I will always have a short, fat blonde girl inside me just waiting to get out. But having weight loss surgery has given me some wonderful tools for lifetime weight management, and I hope that proves to be the same for you.

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

Do you suppose the satiety feeling we get when we've had "just enough" is the same feeling that normies have always felt while eating?

I'm so grateful to have the band relieve the "never satisfied" feeling I lived with all my life. Now I feel satisfied on the right amount of food.

My lifetime job is to listen for that feeling and act on it.

Loved this post.

[Vanessa G 22]

I never had the "I'm full" button in me until my surgery. And I know some think it is just getting the surgery as an "easy way out" but it is a lot of work before and after surgery. I feel myself explaining to some that I did it for medical reasons. I do tell everyone that it is a tool and not a miracle. We have to do our part too. Work on it. For sure not the "easy way out".

Very nice post.

[mhuntoon 21]

I never had the "I'm full" button in me until my surgery. And I know some think it is just getting the surgery as an "easy way out" but it is a lot of work before and after surgery. I feel myself explaining to some that I did it for medical reasons. I do tell everyone that it is a tool and not a miracle. We have to do our part too. Work on it. For sure not the "easy way out".

Very nice post.

I couldn't agree with this post more. I, too, never had an "I'm full" feeling - at least not until I had devoured far more than I should have, which would then be followed by a sense of guilt.

I haven't told any friends or family (save immediate family) about my sleeve because I want to avoid the "you took the easy way out" looks or having to explain how this is truly a difficult process and not a quick fix. I did this for me, my wife, and our kids. They know what I've done and what I'm going through and that's honestly all I need. Someday, I'm sure I'll tell others but for right now I'd rather not waste the energy of dealing with their skeptical questions and doubts and instead focus that energy on doing all I can to stay on the right path. I'm only 2.5 weeks post surgery, so I have plenty of time to deal with naysayers et als down the road.

[mhuntoon 21]

Jean,

I, like many of us here I'm sure, came from a home where you finished what was on your plate. Anything short of that was being wasteful and insensitive to those who didn't have food on their plates. My parents certainly never intended to set me down this path of morbid obesity, but this skill was ingrained in me at a young age. I noticed that I was doing the same with my own children (four of them) and even my wife at times. If they wouldn't finish their food at a restaurant, I would often finish it myself (after eating my own) so as not to offend the server or anyone else who might notice how "wasteful" my kids were being.

It took time for me to come to this realization, but I'm there. I encourage my kids to only eat what they know they'll like (they can experiment from someone else's serving if they'd like) and, if they can't finish, asking for a container in which to take the food home is a good thing. I no longer hover over them making sure they "clean their plates."

I still talk to them about being wasteful and how there are starving people in the world, but the onus is no longer on them to cure the worlds ills.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

@@Jean McMillan ...

What are the behaviors you have "worked" most at during your weight maintenance phase(s)?

Thanks in advance.

[Jean McMillan 2,973]

Jean,

I, like many of us here I'm sure, came from a home where you finished what was on your plate. Anything short of that was being wasteful and insensitive to those who didn't have food on their plates. My parents certainly never intended to set me down this path of morbid obesity, but this skill was ingrained in me at a young age. I noticed that I was doing the same with my own children (four of them) and even my wife at times. If they wouldn't finish their food at a restaurant, I would often finish it myself (after eating my own) so as not to offend the server or anyone else who might notice how "wasteful" my kids were being.

It took time for me to come to this realization, but I'm there. I encourage my kids to only eat what they know they'll like (they can experiment from someone else's serving if they'd like) and, if they can't finish, asking for a container in which to take the food home is a good thing. I no longer hover over them making sure they "clean their plates."

I still talk to them about being wasteful and how there are starving people in the world, but the onus is no longer on them to cure the worlds ills.

All that sounds painfully familiar. Not only did my mother remind us constantly about the starving children in India, not only did we have to clean our plates before we left the table, not only was I generously endowed with genes that favored obesity...I also loved to eat (and still do).

One thing that's helped me come to terms with the starving children dilemma is getting involved in a social enterprise that's working directly with the needy. I've come to believe that my time and caring is even more precious than the piece of chicken I threw out last night.

I commend you for trying to teach your kids about the perils of wastefulness. Since you're setting them a good example (or as good as an example as you're able), they've got plenty going for them.

Jean

[Jean McMillan 2,973]

@@Jean McMillan ...

What are the behaviors you have "worked" most at during your weight maintenance phase(s)?

Thanks in advance.

@@Jean McMillan ...

What are the behaviors you have "worked" most at during your weight maintenance phase(s)?

Thanks in advance.

Oh, dear, I've worked at dozens of behaviors and still do and probably always do. As time goes on, the focus of my work changes. I'm changing, my world is changing, and just when I think I've got it all figured out, I go around a corner only to find an old ghost waiting for me. I had to work very, very hard at mindful eating in my first few years post-op. No more shoveling in the food so fast I hardly tasted it. Nowadays I'm working more on believing I'm thin. When I look in the mirror, one day I see Fat Jean, and the next day I see a skinny girl and think, "Who i s that girl? She looks familiar?"