I've gained and it's my fault.

[Lebim 381]

I've posted this thread in 2 other topics just to vent and hopefully help others not make my mistakes so if you see it more than once I'm sorry, getting this off my chest to more people just makes me feel better.

Before you have gastric bypass they warn you of a few things.

1. You can gain the weight back

2. Alcoholism is a possible side effect after surgery

3. food that used to fill you up or make you sick won't do that as much after awhile

4. Smoking cigarettes causes ulcers post-op

My mom always says no matter how much I'm warned - I've always had to learn every lesson the hard way. Gastric bypass was that way too.

My story is just a warning for all you guys out there - it's true, I'm the prime example of all the stuff they warn you about.

Hey, I'm Kaylee and I had my surgery when I was 20 years old on June 11, 2012. I was 280lbs. In less than 8 months I got down to 150 lbs, 130lbs lost.

For the first 9 months I was insanely strict. If it wasn't a lean Protein or a non-starchy vegetable I wouldn't eat it. Couldn't pay me to eat a carb. While this is good health wise and I'm sure made my surgical team sing - it was the start of my inevitable failure. I was so strict that after awhile all the foods I had denied myself even a nibble of became so enticing I felt ravenous.

My first screw up was picking up smoking again almost a year after I quit. Pure stupidity, I was just bored and thought I could do it socially, wrong. Got ulcers and have had them for over a year and a half. Without acid reducer pills I'm in a lot of pain.

Breaking that golden rule led me to break other rules because hey, I already screwed up right? I started having those forbidden foods I had not allowed myself to even look at for such a long time. Bites turned into mouth fulls turned into plate fulls.

Then came introducing wine back into my life. I suffer from depression and when you don't have to put effort into getting drunk anymore it is so appealing. I fought depression with wine and started drinking every single night - going through a box of wine every 3 days or so.

I then moved from sunny south Florida, away from all my friends, to cold Missouri in the middle of January 2014. I fell into a deep depression and my drinking got worse, and since I was waiting for all my stuff to arrive in the moving truck I lived off hot pockets, Bagels, pretty much anything I could toss in a microwave or toaster. I ate crap, drank daily and smoked like a chimney for pretty much the entire year of 2014, all the while pretending my scale didn't exist and convincing myself my clothes were shrinking and I wasn't getting bigger. I was too ashamed and terrified to look at the scale.< /p>

I finally got up the courage to face what I had done to myself the start of January 2015 and got on the scale. 204lbs. In the span of one year I had gained 54lbs. I felt disgusted with myself and cried for days and days and beat myself up emotionally. I failed everyone, especially myself.

But nothing good comes from beating yourself up over what you cannot take back. I can't take back living on bagels and wine for an entire year. What I can do is fight to get back to 150lbs though.

So on January 12 I quit smoking, quit drinking every day and have reduced it to just Saturday's with my boyfriend at home versus my downtown-bad-habit-factory, and have gotten close to back to basics but allow myself some freedom - for example for lunch on days I work out I let myself have my chicken and veggies inside a wrap [carbs are my crack] instead of depriving myself of anything I want.

I want very badly to get back down to 150lbs... I'm terrified I never will and have somehow ruined this "one and only chance" I've made up in my head. Like I had this wonderful gift of being thin and now that I messed it up I'll never get it back, but I know that type of thinking won't help me. So I'm going to keep going and hopefully someday get back to it.

If you've actually made it this far, thank you, I really needed to get this horrible guilt off my chest. I feel like an absolute failure but getting it out helps.

So if I can give you guys any advice:

1. Yes you can gain it back, I'm an example.

2. Becoming an alcoholic is a real risk you need to watch out for post op.

3. You will be surprised how much food you can get into your body if you really try

4. If you quit smoking never pick it up again, I didn't even have a desire to smoke and managed to become a pack a day smoker again within a month. Not even one after you quit.

And most of all - NEVER EVER stop using your scale. I ignored what I was doing for so long and that's how I ended up gaining the amount I did. If I had just looked a couple months before and saw 175lbs I would've done what I'm doing now back then. I would have never let it get this bad if I had just swallowed my pride and looked. I'm lucky that I caught myself when I did because I was headed towards being morbidly obese again.

Good luck to you all - try not to make all the mistakes I did.

Here's to hoping I can look like this again

Edited January 29, 2015 by Lebim

[MiaStacey 18]

Hope you can overcome all those obstacles, good luck. I wish you the best.

[Janice1968 92]

I needed to hear this!Thank you for sharing.

[freshair 135]

Thanks so much for sharing i just wrote a post about smoking as i have picked it up again. I'm scared to get an ulcer but still can't find the will to quit. I'm disappointed in myself. I'm gonna try to quit again this weekend. Again thanks for the help

[Sassafrassa 33]

I've posted this thread in 2 other topics just to vent and hopefully help others not make my mistakes so if you see it more than once I'm sorry, getting this off my chest to more people just makes me feel better.

Before you have gastric bypass they warn you of a few things.

1. You can gain the weight back

2. Alcoholism is a possible side effect after surgery

3. food that used to fill you up or make you sick won't do that as much after awhile

4. Smoking cigarettes causes ulcers post-op

My mom always says no matter how much I'm warned - I've always had to learn every lesson the hard way. Gastric bypass was that way too.

My story is just a warning for all you guys out there - it's true, I'm the prime example of all the stuff they warn you about.

Hey, I'm Kaylee and I had my surgery when I was 20 years old on June 11, 2012. I was 280lbs. In less than 8 months I got down to 150 lbs, 130lbs lost.

For the first 9 months I was insanely strict. If it wasn't a lean Protein or a non-starchy vegetable I wouldn't eat it. Couldn't pay me to eat a carb. While this is good health wise and I'm sure made my surgical team sing - it was the start of my inevitable failure. I was so strict that after awhile all the foods I had denied myself even a nibble of became so enticing I felt ravenous.

My first screw up was picking up smoking again almost a year after I quit. Pure stupidity, I was just bored and thought I could do it socially, wrong. Got ulcers and have had them for over a year and a half. Without acid reducer pills I'm in a lot of pain.

Breaking that golden rule led me to break other rules because hey, I already screwed up right? I started having those forbidden foods I had not allowed myself to even look at for such a long time. Bites turned into mouth fulls turned into plate fulls.

Then came introducing wine back into my life. I suffer from depression and when you don't have to put effort into getting drunk anymore it is so appealing. I fought depression with wine and started drinking every single night - going through a box of wine every 3 days or so.

I then moved from sunny south Florida, away from all my friends, to cold Missouri in the middle of January 2014. I fell into a deep depression and my drinking got worse, and since I was waiting for all my stuff to arrive in the moving truck I lived off hot pockets, Bagels, pretty much anything I could toss in a microwave or toaster. I ate crap, drank daily and smoked like a chimney for pretty much the entire year of 2014, all the while pretending my scale didn't exist and convincing myself my clothes were shrinking and I wasn't getting bigger. I was too ashamed and terrified to look at the scale.< /p>

I finally got up the courage to face what I had done to myself the start of January 2015 and got on the scale. 204lbs. In the span of one year I had gained 54lbs. I felt disgusted with myself and cried for days and days and beat myself up emotionally. I failed everyone, especially myself.

But nothing good comes from beating yourself up over what you cannot take back. I can't take back living on bagels and wine for an entire year. What I can do is fight to get back to 150lbs though.

So on January 12 I quit smoking, quit drinking every day and have reduced it to just Saturday's with my boyfriend at home versus my downtown-bad-habit-factory, and have gotten close to back to basics but allow myself some freedom - for example for lunch on days I work out I let myself have my chicken and veggies inside a wrap [carbs are my crack] instead of depriving myself of anything I want.

I want very badly to get back down to 150lbs... I'm terrified I never will and have somehow ruined this "one and only chance" I've made up in my head. Like I had this wonderful gift of being thin and now that I messed it up I'll never get it back, but I know that type of thinking won't help me. So I'm going to keep going and hopefully someday get back to it.

If you've actually made it this far, thank you, I really needed to get this horrible guilt off my chest. I feel like an absolute failure but getting it out helps.

So if I can give you guys any advice:

1. Yes you can gain it back, I'm an example.

2. Becoming an alcoholic is a real risk you need to watch out for post op.

3. You will be surprised how much food you can get into your body if you really try

4. If you quit smoking never pick it up again, I didn't even have a desire to smoke and managed to become a pack a day smoker again within a month. Not even one after you quit.

And most of all - NEVER EVER stop using your scale. I ignored what I was doing for so long and that's how I ended up gaining the amount I did. If I had just looked a couple months before and saw 175lbs I would've done what I'm doing now back then. I would have never let it get this bad if I had just swallowed my pride and looked. I'm lucky that I caught myself when I did because I was headed towards being morbidly obese again.

Good luck to you all - try not to make all the mistakes I did.

Here's to hoping I can look like this again

ImageUploadedByBariatricPal1422513771.303055.jpg

The important thing is you're making positive changes. Surgery doesn't stop us from being normal people who make bad decisions. Things happen, life happens. Props to you for sharing your story and good luck!

[Lebim 381]

Thanks so much for sharing i just wrote a post about smoking as i have picked it up again. I'm scared to get an ulcer but still can't find the will to quit. I'm disappointed in myself. I'm gonna try to quit again this weekend. Again thanks for the help

The first time I quit I switched to the e-cigarette N-Joy for a few months before kicking the habit all together. It's the closest thing to a real cigarette that I've tried and you can get them at any drug store or 7/11 and they have a lot less nicotine. Easier than quitting cold turkey. If you live near a costco they sell a pill literally called "acid reducer" and I think it would help prevent you from getting an ulcer for now - not justifying the smoking but y'know, it might help. Good luck with quitting

Edited January 29, 2015 by Lebim

[Djmohr 6,965]

@@Lebim, thanks for sharing your story. I too believe if you completely remove carbs from your diet, long term you might struggle. Having been on Atkins so many times in my life, I know that I have to be careful. To your point it is about once in a while and not every day every meal. And of course focus on good carbs. The best thing to do is track your food so you know exactly what you are putting in your body and can manage it a bit better.

I wish you all the best in getting back on track. The good news is you have not given up.

You can do this!

[freshair 135]

@@Lebim thanks again! Good luck and I'm sure you will hit goal once more.

[Baconville 578]

Thank you for sharing! I hope you are seeing the scale move in the right direction and are feeling better about yourself.

Surgery does not make our weight issues go away. I believe to be successful you have to commit to working on making healthier decisions every day. You don't have to do it all at once, but just one small change at a time makes all the difference over weeks, months and years.

Keep at it! This is just another bump in the road that your journey has taken you on. Learn from it and you life will be better for it!

Carol

[glk 0]

I would enjoy hearing more of how you are doing. I have gained 30 pounds but I am avoiding the scales lime a plague. I'm trying to do first steps again and get back on track.

[raeannr 1]

Try the 5 day pouch test to help you get back on track! And thank you for your story!

[mom 2 6 0]

I just joined this forum today and this is the exact reason. I am 8 years post op and had amazing results. Over 110lb weightloss. I knew all the warnings of gaining the weight back and not replacing food with alcohol etc.

I truly thought all the warnings did not apply to me!

I kept my post op weight for approx 5 years really without any effort. Ate pretty much what ever I wanted and still no weight gain! I WON- was my thought!

Then 3 years ago my mom died and i fell apart. Eating didnt change but the daily wine drinking started. My weight slowly crept up over the next years and i am now 40+ pounds up from where I want to be.

I really dont even know what to do. I have an extremely stressful life and really do not want to stop the wine completely so will cut back but I do not know what to even eat anymore!

Has anyone else been here? Where did you start? Specifically-what did you do.

I feel so ashamed of myself. I feel like i had such a gift of a second chance and have blown it ((.

[Cupcake 801]

Thanks for sharing, you have what it takes to loose the weight you have the tool and know how you. You got this and we are here for you keep us posted .

[Baconville 578]

Mom 2 6 - I would encourage you to get on MyFitnessPal.com or one of the other food tracking sites. This free App helps you track what you are eating, how much exercise you are doing, and how much Water you are drinking. I have found this app to be by far the best weight loss tool I have ever found, and its free. Begin by making small changes, like just committing to tracking what you are eating everyday. Once you get that down work on something else. I try to add one new goal a week. The hardest part is starting! You are here! You can get it back under control, you just have to start.

[Kimberly Bouche-Perez 48]

Hi thanks for posting this. I had surgery 22 months ago. Went from 301 to 139. I even just had Tummy Tuck on 3\21\15. I am TERRIFIED of this happening!!!!! I am one of the 10% who now have resumed my eating disorder.

The doctors want me to put on 10 lbs. I don't want to.

I NEED muscle's. I am still under no activity for another few weeks. But I will be working out again as soon as they will let me.

Problem is, I still see the 'fat girl' in the mirror.

Well until a week and a half ago.

When I was finally able to take a shower, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I now see the very skinny person that everyone see's. I was horrified.

I do see a therapist and she is great.

I have a fear of the scale. But because of your story, I will be checking this more often.

Thanks so much for your story!

Let me know how you're doing! I am here if you need someone to talk to.