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ok so yesterday morning I had to poop...



as many of you probably know I have been having issues with constipation.. it is taking a while to get things lined out...


so I am in pain with the need to go poo...


off I go to sit on the toilet... phone in hand..


plop plop plop


oh dear God... nope not gonna push... Holy shit this effin hurts...


kerthunk


instant relief....



it hurt so bad that my blood pressure spiked so fast and so high that I almost passed out... ears ringing, dizzy, fingers went numb...


had to put the phone down so I didnt drop it....


blood pressure finally returns to normal...


finish up...


get up and turn to flush....



IT WAS THE SIZE OF A FRICKIN CUCUMBER! and not one of those skinny ass cucumbers...


I thought I was gonna have to get a knife to cut it up... it almost clogged the front hole of the toilet.... no wonder I was clogged up.....

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I have a whole new appreciation for getting to poop! Congrats on your big one!

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lol ok Yes this is TMI but one I totally laughed and second its because I completely get it!

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I posted this shirt the other day. My family was going to get it for me for Christmas cause I am obsessed now with going. LOL

Thought it might make you smile!!!

post-205996-0-26993800-1422477217_thumb.jpg

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I have been SO tempted to get that shirt!

It REALLY is an accomplishment to poop!!

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Well can't say I envy you, I would hate to go through that.....since we are on the TMI subject..mine was totally the opposite..diarrhea, watery, diarrhea and more Water...I go so much it's hurting my bung hole.

TMI to say the least!! :wacko:

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Did you take a picture? Did you call Guinness? :P

Thanks for sharing. I've gone through the same thing, but was too afraid to share such a vivid description of what I went through! :rolleyes: I've had to strain so hard that I was afraid I'd have an anurism and die on the toilet - like the constipated gangster in the TV series, The Sopranos.

I had to train myself to relax my neck and face while on the toilet! :o

I think you deserve an NSV award, just for surviving!!!! :lol:

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post-147109-0-22802600-1422492396_thumb.jpg

ok so yesterday morning I had to poop...
as many of you probably know I have been having issues with constipation.. it is taking a while to get things lined out...
so I am in pain with the need to go poo...
off I go to sit on the toilet... phone in hand..
plop plop plop
oh dear God... nope not gonna push... Holy **** this effin hurts...
kerthunk
instant relief....
it hurt so bad that my blood pressure spiked so fast and so high that I almost passed out... ears ringing, dizzy, fingers went numb...
had to put the phone down so I didnt drop it....
blood pressure finally returns to normal...
finish up...
get up and turn to flush....
IT WAS THE SIZE OF A FRICKIN CUCUMBER! and not one of those skinny ass cucumbers...
I thought I was gonna have to get a knife to cut it up... it almost clogged the front hole of the toilet.... no wonder I was clogged up.....

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Haha! Best one I've read today!!

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Bonus side effect of being a vegetarian. Lots of Fiber = regular poops. I can't imagine having to strain that hard.

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Girls don't poop!

Kidding, that was hilarious, thanks. By the way are you taking a stool softener, it helped me.

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@@Penny C - Make sure you're taking a stool softener and drinking Water. Not everyone gets constipated. You may be able to head it off.

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I am currently taking 1 senokot and 1 stool softener every night before bed.. haven't had a repeat of the cucumber incident!

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