catlover2565 75 Posted January 28, 2015 ok so yesterday morning I had to poop... as many of you probably know I have been having issues with constipation.. it is taking a while to get things lined out... so I am in pain with the need to go poo... off I go to sit on the toilet... phone in hand.. plop plop plop oh dear God... nope not gonna push... Holy shit this effin hurts... kerthunk instant relief.... it hurt so bad that my blood pressure spiked so fast and so high that I almost passed out... ears ringing, dizzy, fingers went numb... had to put the phone down so I didnt drop it.... blood pressure finally returns to normal... finish up... get up and turn to flush.... IT WAS THE SIZE OF A FRICKIN CUCUMBER! and not one of those skinny ass cucumbers... I thought I was gonna have to get a knife to cut it up... it almost clogged the front hole of the toilet.... no wonder I was clogged up..... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sweetie716 270 Posted January 28, 2015 I have a whole new appreciation for getting to poop! Congrats on your big one! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Veronica Page 488 Posted January 28, 2015 lol ok Yes this is TMI but one I totally laughed and second its because I completely get it! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CheleLynn45 615 Posted January 28, 2015 I posted this shirt the other day. My family was going to get it for me for Christmas cause I am obsessed now with going. LOL Thought it might make you smile!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
catlover2565 75 Posted January 28, 2015 I have been SO tempted to get that shirt! It REALLY is an accomplishment to poop!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Eclectick 129 Posted January 28, 2015 Well can't say I envy you, I would hate to go through that.....since we are on the TMI subject..mine was totally the opposite..diarrhea, watery, diarrhea and more Water...I go so much it's hurting my bung hole. TMI to say the least!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wannaBthinsoon 1,634 Posted January 28, 2015 sorry but BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
joatsaint 2,814 Posted January 29, 2015 Did you take a picture? Did you call Guinness? Thanks for sharing. I've gone through the same thing, but was too afraid to share such a vivid description of what I went through! I've had to strain so hard that I was afraid I'd have an anurism and die on the toilet - like the constipated gangster in the TV series, The Sopranos. I had to train myself to relax my neck and face while on the toilet! I think you deserve an NSV award, just for surviving!!!! ok so yesterday morning I had to poop... as many of you probably know I have been having issues with constipation.. it is taking a while to get things lined out... so I am in pain with the need to go poo... off I go to sit on the toilet... phone in hand.. plop plop plop oh dear God... nope not gonna push... Holy **** this effin hurts... kerthunk instant relief.... it hurt so bad that my blood pressure spiked so fast and so high that I almost passed out... ears ringing, dizzy, fingers went numb... had to put the phone down so I didnt drop it.... blood pressure finally returns to normal... finish up... get up and turn to flush.... IT WAS THE SIZE OF A FRICKIN CUCUMBER! and not one of those skinny ass cucumbers... I thought I was gonna have to get a knife to cut it up... it almost clogged the front hole of the toilet.... no wonder I was clogged up..... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mavic 37 Posted January 29, 2015 Haha! Best one I've read today!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wvandemark 4 Posted January 29, 2015 Lmao????????Opposite here though.....diarrhea marathon. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BLERDgirl 6,417 Posted January 29, 2015 Bonus side effect of being a vegetarian. Lots of Fiber = regular poops. I can't imagine having to strain that hard. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Penny C 16 Posted January 31, 2015 I got sleeve 1/26 and am dreading that moment. Haven't done anything but pee so far.... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Eli Alexander 316 Posted January 31, 2015 Girls don't poop! Kidding, that was hilarious, thanks. By the way are you taking a stool softener, it helped me. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BLERDgirl 6,417 Posted January 31, 2015 @@Penny C - Make sure you're taking a stool softener and drinking Water. Not everyone gets constipated. You may be able to head it off. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
catlover2565 75 Posted January 31, 2015 I am currently taking 1 senokot and 1 stool softener every night before bed.. haven't had a repeat of the cucumber incident! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites